Do babies need dummies? Or can they forego

[amberbamber98]

Me and DF are TTC, in month 2 and of course as time goes on I wonder about little things about parenting!

One thing I did wonder is if babies have to have dummies?

I never thought of this really! But it was a random thought that crossed my head

DH has 2 nephews, 1 was given one and still has it at 18 months. His parents say they regret it as it’s made his teeth grow a certain way (don’t know anything about this just what they said) and delayed and affected his speech? Just as he’s always had one and is quite adamant to not give it up

His other nephew is 4 and never had one they never used one and they’re set on the fact that dummies cause teeth and speech/language issues

I didn’t really think of this as me and my brother never had dummies my mother said! DF had one apparently until he was 5

So does it really affect teeth/speech and language? And can babies go without it?

Or do they need it at one time or another!

I love dummies!
The amount of pleasure and comfort my little ones got from those small bits of silicone and plastic was phenomenal.
I'm a huge fan of comfort objects for small children.

Dd had one till she grew out of it aged 4.
She's 19, you'd never know now or care really if she'd had one or not!
Do what suits you at the time.

I don’t think they need one but in some cases they do come in handy. When I had DD sil had her 3rd baby at about the same time, I was complaining about how attached DD was to her dummy and sil said she wished her baby would have one as it can make it easier to get them off to sleep. Mind you DS wouldnt entertain one but he fell asleep very easily anyway

They dont need dummies at all and you're much better off if you dont start nonsense. My 2 never had them, whilst half the kids at nursery were still using them when they were heading for primary school because they're parents couldnt get them to give it up.

Dc1 refused to take a dummy, dc2 had one occasionally for about 9 months, dc3 absolutely loved his and only gave it up at age 3. He’s also the only one who didn’t need braces! They certainly aren’t necessary, but can be helpful, and as above, they have been linked to a reduced SIDS risk.

They don't need them as they can comfort suckle. That's not to say they shouldn't or can't have them.

my breastfed babies didn't comfort suckle, when they sucked they got milk, and ds in particular didn't want it. As I said upthread, he loved his dummy.

My son never had one and neither did at least 3 of his friends. For us it just didn't feel right and I was worried I might miss breastfeeding cues. However I know plenty of babies who do have them and that's great too. It's a personal thing.

@WhereverIGoddamnLike

They dont need dummies at all and you're much better off if you dont start nonsense. My 2 never had them, whilst half the kids at nursery were still using them when they were heading for primary school because they're parents couldnt get them to give it up.

Hilarious

Again to clarify, this isn’t me making any decisions

I’m aware my opinion could change and probably will!

Not trying to make any hard dead set decisions here. Just gaging opinions

My eldest didn't ever get one, he used my boobs for comfort whenever needed.
Second time around I had a serious issue with oversupply and DS2 ended up getting a faceful every time he wanted some comfort - then screamed for hours. HV suggested a dummy and it worked wonders - used it for comfort while my boobs calmed the fuck down. 2 weeks later it wasn't needed any more. Perfect, easy solution to a very irritating problem.

My first loved his, my second wouldn't take one unfortunately. I think it would have helped him settle much better.
Didn't do my first any harm whatsoever, but of course they don't need to have one. You just said you know people whos children haven't had one, including yourself.

I gave one to my son and it flew out of his mouth across the room! So I said to myself well ok! I won’t try that again!

Thirteen years ago (and undoubtedly a gazillion about-turns on official advice) when my first was born, dummy use was encouraged as it was considered to reduce the chance of SIDS. My subsequent kids were dummy deniers, despite my best efforts.

Wait and see what your baby is like, my first fully breast friend baby wouldn’t take one and it was more bother to me to keep trying to get her to use it. Didn’t try with my second. I have no opinion on the rights or wrongs but I do know my worries about having a baby and what I would do disappeared when my baby was given to me.

Obviously you decide if you want your baby to have one but you also decide when they have one. My friend only gave her child a dummy to help them sleep, in the morning it was removed from reach and given again at nap times etc.

Ds1 didn't have a dummy. Ds2 was told to have one by the paediatrician to help his severe reflux. So my choices were, give a dummy or risk scaring my 4 month old baby's oesophagus. Guess which one I chose?

Ds didn't grow out of his reflux until he was 8 years old. He doesn't have a dummy now obviously. It never affected his teeth. A second baby crying through the night can disturb the sleep of the first child and affect their day, maybe even their school day depending on the ages.

The way I look at it is you do what works for you. No one is walking in your shoes with your baby.

Be prepared to not have fixed ideas about how your parenting will go. If someone asks then say you are flexible. It is easy to judge from the outside, I wanted to have a t shirt printed for Ds2 that said my paediatrician told me to use a dummy for all those parents sneering down at him using one.

You just need to wait and see what type of baby you get. My first loved her dummy, no issue removing it though. I gave it to her because she would only settle with my finger in her mouth! Second wouldn't take one - uses my breast as a dummy. Will be interesting to see how he settles when he starts nursery 😬😬
Dentist told me to remove before 3 to avoid tooth damage. Before that is fine.
As an aside (and because some of the comments are v judgmental IMO) I believe dummies are recommended below 6 months even for bf babies as they reduce sids risk?

I thought you were good for reducing SIDs risk? If so it's scary that some people here would rather bleat on about them being ugly

Didn’t really give it too much thought before DS came along. Had a couple and they made it as far as the steriliser when we had a few colicky evenings. Never got round to trying one though and he now mostly self settles and doesn’t suck his thumb. Fully FF from about 6 weeks or so.

I didn't use one with DS as I was doing responsive feeding and I worried that I'd miss his cues. He still sucks his thumb at 4.5yo and his teeth are ruined. If had used a dummy I would at least have been able to remove it, but can't exactly detach his thumb!
I tried to use a dummy with DD but she was having none of it, but I never let her suck her thumb.

Both my babies were exclusively breastfed. DC1 comfort fed constantly, would have loved it if she'd taken a dummy but she refused. DC2 was given one at 4 weeks when he was in hospital very unwell, it comforted him a lot. At 9 months he refused it and never looked for it again.

@mooncakes

Breastfed babies don't need one, but bottle fed babies do need to comfort suck.

If you get rid of them by about 18 months they are unlikely to cause any problems and do prevent thumb sucking which is much harder to get rid of.

Someone else has probably already said this but that's not true. My kids are adopted so couldn't be breastfed, neither had a dummy. Wasn't a problem

@ineedsun

Sorry, I meant to say "can need" for the reason that they can't comfort suckle with a bottle

happymummy12345
“No definitely not. None of my mums 3 children ever had one. My son never had one either. I hate them. I would never ever shove an ugly bit of plastic in my child's mouth. Should be banned”

This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. There is actually some evidence that dummies can reduce the risk of SIDS, did you know that?

We used one with my daughter (mixed fed from 5 days old due to very low supply) until she was six months. We already knew we didn’t want her to use it longer than that due to the potential dental and attachment issues, and we had no issues taking it away. It worked well when needed for comfort and caused no problems whatsoever.

We are doing the same with my son who is now 10 weeks old and also mixed fed due to the same milk supply issues we had first time round. Again we will be attempting to remove the dummy around the time he is weaned.

As with most things it is down to individual parent and child preference. People like happymummy have absolutely no right to shame others for making decisions that are in the best interests of their own children.

OP it may be useful to have one on standby just in case you want to try it by it’s by no means an essential item. I think there is still a lot of misplaced snobbery around dummy use, perhaps from the older generation who see it as a sign of lazy parenting (for example my DM, who makes the odd remark which I more than happily ignore as I literally do not
care what other people think anymore).

My babies are happy and thriving and yours will be too, no matter what you decide.

Bought some before DS1 was born and he just spat them out. They ended up in the street so I wasn't going to clean it and offer it back. In the end after a no.of spat out and binned dummies we ditched them. DD2 was never offered one.

So, no they don't all need one.

Two DC, one had a dummy as a baby and then at night only until 2.5. It was definitely a useful soother at night time!

Second DC outright refused. I do think they can help sleep and research shows they can lower the incidence of SIDS (although my DC who did have a dummy didn't have it at night until about 4 months anyway).