Do babies need dummies? Or can they forego

[amberbamber98]

Me and DF are TTC, in month 2 and of course as time goes on I wonder about little things about parenting!

One thing I did wonder is if babies have to have dummies?

I never thought of this really! But it was a random thought that crossed my head

DH has 2 nephews, 1 was given one and still has it at 18 months. His parents say they regret it as it’s made his teeth grow a certain way (don’t know anything about this just what they said) and delayed and affected his speech? Just as he’s always had one and is quite adamant to not give it up

His other nephew is 4 and never had one they never used one and they’re set on the fact that dummies cause teeth and speech/language issues

I didn’t really think of this as me and my brother never had dummies my mother said! DF had one apparently until he was 5

So does it really affect teeth/speech and language? And can babies go without it?

Or do they need it at one time or another!

"Breastfed babies don't need one, but bottle fed babies do need to comfort suck."

This is absolute rubbish

@happymummy12345

No definitely not. None of my mums 3 children ever had one. My son never had one either. I hate them. I would never ever shove an ugly bit of plastic in my child's mouth. Should be banned

Yep absolutely I should have insisted on banning them when the NICU nurse discussed that it would be useful to try ds2 to use a special newborn dummy because his suck reflex was weak and he needed to exercise it due to...you know fighting for his life.

But yes terribly ugly aren't they ? What a terrible parent I was for agreeing. You clearly know better

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

"Breastfed babies don't need one, but bottle fed babies do need to comfort suck."

This is absolute rubbish

Definitely not. In fact multiple people on this thread have said the same thing.

Both breastfeed babies and bottle fed babies comfort suck.

DS has one, he's 16 months now, he only has it when he is really fighting sleep, it seems to help him settle. We remove it once he's asleep, as it's not needed then.

I said I would never use one, but needs must sometimes, and as he only had it for naps/bedtime, I think there is an association we need to break with sleep and dummies.

Plan is to get rid of it after Christmas.

Not a fan of dummies , with my first didn’t buy any .....then she was born and cried & cried seemed to only get comfort from sucking on my little finger - husband/dad sent out to buy dummies - happy baby. Everyone happy and I could get some sleep!
Second time around went in with dummies all prepared baby wasn’t interested & never needed one.
Try to go in with open mind and not to worry /guess. See what baby needs are. I caved within an few hours that baby needed dummy - never regretted my choice with my first.

Just to clarify, my point stands on “I’d like not to use one if possible” like I think I’d like to breastfeed if possible

I am fully aware that once I become pregnant/have a baby opinions and views can change completely! And I’m very open to that

This is just regarding my view right now. Not making any decisions

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

"Breastfed babies don't need one, but bottle fed babies do need to comfort suck."

This is absolute rubbish

In what way?

I think it is one of those things that is really useful for some babies and others are not interested.

Ds was veyr sucky, but didn't want the boob when his tummy was full. I let him suck my finger and then just bought a dummy. Was a great comfort and he was a great sleeper.
At about 12 months he discovered that if he threw his dummy across the room atbedtime, we came in and got it for him. Great game. We got rid of the dummy. At that age we had one unsettled night and it was gone.
But we only ever used it for sleep, I don't like seeing kids with dummt wandering about.

I have 2 other kids and neither were interested in a dummy, but one got attached to a blanket and one to a teddy.

Every child is different

@mooncakes

I meant in the way that breastfeed babies often use the boob as comfort with actually feeding, whereas bottle fed cannot use a bottle without feeding if that makes sense?

I had a really sucky (breastfed) baby who didn't nap well and woke constantly in the night. I wish he'd have taken a dummy to provide him with a little comfort but (barring one blissful long nap!) he refused every type/shape of dummy.

I'll try again with this one (currently pregnant) but hopefully only for naps and nighttime sleep - or possibly nighttime sleep only and would hopefully be able to get rid of it before 18 months.

I read that the times they can cause issues with speech are when they have them in all the time including awake time. I've heard a good way to wean them off is to cut a hole in the rubber bit of the dummy so that they aren't nice to suck anymore!

Wait until you have your kids before you make any hard decisions OP. I think everyone on here had plenty of opinions on parenting before they had kids and they now do the opposite.

FWIW, most issues with dummies aren't actually with the dummy itself. It's down to how a parent chooses to use it/rely on it that usually causes a problem. A child who still has a dummy at five, uses it at the dinner table etc has been allowed to do that by their parents.

Both of mine had dummies BTW. I never regretted it.

I know numerous breastfed babies that have dummies. Saying breastfed babies dont need dummies is rubbish. It depends on the baby, not on the method of feeding.

Didn’t give one to DS. He started thumb sucking instead. He’s agreed repeatedly since age 4 to stop, but still sucks his thumb for hours each day aged 8.

His teeth are affected, and it’s not good to see a junior aged child in public sucking his thumb. Plus COVID risk when he’s touched things outside the house.

I wish we’d given him a dummy we could have taken away at preschool age...

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

I know numerous breastfed babies that have dummies. Saying breastfed babies dont need dummies is rubbish. It depends on the baby, not on the method of feeding.

They don't need them as they can comfort suckle. That's not to say they shouldn't or can't have them.

FWIW, most issues with dummies aren't actually with the dummy itself. It's down to how a parent chooses to use it/rely on it that usually causes a problem.

I totally agree with this

They don't all take them DC1 we didn't bother as she found her thumb/fist on day 3 or 4. DC2 had a brief dalliance with a dummy during/after a couple of days of tube feeding during bronchiolitis but wasn't a fan of sucking for no reward and refused from about 2 days after... git!

I have three DC my two boys both breastfed and I was getting no rest as I was their dummy. They loved their dummies and both of them only ever had them at sleep time not when awake. It was only a comforter for that and the boundaries were clear there teeth were fine no worries and our dentist said that it's harder for them suckers because you can't take the thumb away 🙈both boys have them up when they were ready. Eldest was 2.5 and younger son was 3.5. They don't ask for it or miss it they were ready. My daughter on the other hand has no interest whatsoever in a dummy and believe me I have tried! All different types haha she prefers me ! So at end of the day the baby will let you know 😊good luck with the ttc!

Ds1 didn’t have one and ended up sucking his thumb so I got one for ds2 and it worked great.
He only had it for sleeping and I took it off him when he was 2.

My ds is 9 months and still has one for sleeping. Occasionally he will have it in the pram but that’s about it. I introduced it because I was petrified of SIDS and they’re recommended to prevent SIDS. I’m trying to ease him off the dummy as he is almost walking and I don’t want it impacting his speech. It’s not allowed out of his cot now and he’s not that phased tbh.

FWIW, most issues with dummies aren't actually with the dummy itself. It's down to how a parent chooses to use it/rely on it that usually causes a problem. A child who still has a dummy at five, uses it at the dinner table etc has been allowed to do that by their parents.

This. In spades.

Nope I tried about 6 different ones for my baby, she didn't take to any of them, so never had one.

I'm grateful now as I don't have to battle with removing it or using it as a sleep aid or worry about potential dental problems

My DD never had one, she didn't like it. DS however LOVES him dummy

It’s not a simple answer. Prem babies are often given them in NICU to help them to develop a sucking reflux. DD1 had one as she ended up being ff and it terrible reflux problems and the sucking on a dummy made the pain more tolerable. There is some evidence that giving a dummy and then taking it away too young can cause a tiny increase risk of SIDS. DD2 rejected a dummy from the beginning but she was constantly on the boob anyway.

The biggest issue with dummies is toddler wandering around with them awake and dummies not being removed all together at a suitable age.

You have to parent the child you have not some hypothetical child.

I never wanted to give DS one as I saw so many older toddlers wandering around with them in all day and thought that’s what would happen.

But he was given one by the nurses in special care on his first night off ventilation / oxygen when I wasn’t there. when I asked about it I was given a Lullaby trust leaflet about how new research shows dummies can help against SIDS, and they gave me advice on how and when to use it and then getting rid of it (advised by the age of 1) it is advocated.

DS has only ever had it for sleep since about 3 months old. He’s 20 months now and he usually spits it out after half an hour asleep and that’s it. We’ll get rid of it when he’s old enough to understand.

I do think there’s a middle ground and it was a godsend in the early days. I just think you need to be careful on when and for how long they have it.