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Parenting

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Should I go back to work 4 days?

10 replies

Ilovesweets123 · 30/11/2020 08:06

am currently on maternity with my second daughter. She is 5 weeks old and my first daughter is 17 months old, so very early days with two.
I am a teacher and when I had my daughter I went back to work three days a week. I am considering going back to work four days rather than three, but don't know if I will regret it as it is difficult to reduce my hours again.
Reasons for going back 4 days:

  • more money (not a huge amount as both daughters will be in nursery)
  • I feel it will be better for my mental health as I will have a bit of the old me back
  • I feel like they will benefit as I don't feel like I am a 'good' mum. I do play with them and read a lot with my daughter, but feel like they will learn more at nursery.
  • on my days off I will want to go to clubs like messy play etc. Which costs money
  • throughout the year I get 12 weeks off anyway, and can leave school at 3:30 almost every day so can have a good few hours before they go to sleep. Also, I don't work any weekend so will be with them then.
  • I love love love my girls, but it is such hard work to entertain them all the time
Reasons against :
  • they are only little once and I might regret not spending more time with them
  • not much more money
  • more lessons to plan at home and more marking
Any opinions? Also, I know I am very lucky to be able to go back part time, I know there will be many out there who have to go back to work full time. This isn't meant to offend anyone!!
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chopc · 30/11/2020 08:08

Your pros far outweigh the cons. Go back to work. I always worked part time and I did horrendous hours until my elders was 2. He doesn't remember any of it. But I feel so lucky to have spend loads of time with my kids which my husband missed out on

3rdtimelucky2019 · 30/11/2020 08:24

I do 4 days a week (not a teacher). It's the best of both worlds.

Ilovesweets123 · 30/11/2020 12:49

Thank you both for your replies! I feel guilty that in a way would be choosing work over them... Even though I know it is not the case. Such a tough decision

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Embracelife · 30/11/2020 12:52

It s not a big deal. You will be there with them more than not.
They wont notice the extra day.
What about their dad? Is he feeling guilty for working?

Ilovesweets123 · 30/11/2020 12:54

@embracelife thank you for your reply.
I guess I just think I should be the main one looking after them as I am the woman... Very old fashioned I know.
He is a teacher too, but earns more than me as he has been a teacher for longer. He would prefer me to stay home three days so I can be with the kids more and have less school work to do at home as he brings home a lot.

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Embracelife · 30/11/2020 13:02

Honestly while they small they wont notice or mind so long as they have good care.
You there from 3 30.
Do what works for you.

Frankley · 30/11/2020 13:11

Definitely go back to work. I worked from when my two were small, (until they were adults) . I'm so glad l did, it was good for the children too. I didn't get much income from doing it while paying their nursery fees etc but in the long run it was great and l enjoyed it

borageforager · 30/11/2020 13:13

4 days term time only sounds like a good option.

S00LA · 30/11/2020 14:07

Are you still with your daughters father and if so, how many days a week does he work ?

I see he is keen for the girls to be home more, so perhaps he could go to 4 days as well and have them more.

If you are separated then this might affect your child support.

Thirtyrock39 · 30/11/2020 15:49

My only advice as an ex teacher is that if you are planning on leaving work at 330 then you will struggle to get everything done that four days a week will need and will end up doing more work on your day off . I left as I found I was prioritising leaving as soon as I could to get home to the kids and it meant I wasn't doing enough at work and made work more stressful as I was clock watching and getting behind and trying to work in the evenings and weekends when I was tired and wanting to be with the babies . I'd be tempted to do three days when you really focus on work for those three days and then can switch off (a bit!) on the other two days .

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