Porn

[scaley45]

I've just discovered that my 11yr old son has been searching online for porn. I have no idea how to deal with this, please advise. I know he's bound to be curious but open is such a harsh way to learn things.

I think you need to have a chat with him and explain it’s abit like the movies you see. You don’t even need to say i know you have been looking. Just say there’s been a few parents say their kids have been asking / looking so you wanted to talk about it. The big block busters aren’t real life and tend to be over exaggerated, the characters are over the top and it’s fake. Pick maybe his favourite film to try and explain.

If you explain it’s ok to watch porn, that some people do get addicted to it and it’s not real / not how you treat people in real life.

I don’t think telling him he can’t watch it or that’s it’s bad will work. He will find a way to watch it. I would rather tell my kids the truth so that they are more set up for what a relationship will be like and not have unrealistic expectations of sex and relationships.

Do you not have parental controls in place?

I agree with previous poster that he does need to know that it is not real, and that this is not the way men should treat women. He also needs to be introduced to the idea of exploitation, perhaps to be told that the women do not want to do this but they are so poor that they have to - and that this is not right. I know that is a bit simplistic, but enough for him to get the message that there is something deeply wrong at the heart of all this.

There were controls on there but I think he's found a way around them!

Thanks for the advice.

He sounds like a bright boy! Bright enough to understand some basic information about porn and its objective - making money.

Found this puzzling www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-57143746

Here’s some links to help you:

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/aug/31/how-to-talk-to-teenagers-about-porn?fbclid=IwAR3crJ70LKHCkBdZtebo75WC8dbjLCcDQ2NkOzr_CU4nLia70nzm_3fBjMg

www.echildhood.org/resources_for_parents_of_teens?fbclid=IwAR0MBYtbhINZZPrTEanq6wTeh9y1rRfLXuRbv6t9tx0dBO5QC0L9xh-p4Cg

www.echildhood.org/conversation?fbclid=IwAR32CJOb5PwsuQcogn7gdT1xL9P7LL0WEhD5n5kyLtNf4frJXL5F5zJn5uI

May be start here: www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-asia-53103684