Sometimes I wish my toilet trained toddler would just piss in his pants

[Rubyroost]

Honestly I bloody do. Esp when he's waking me up at 3 am/4 am or 5 am shouting he needs a wee. Its normally only once but the time varies.

Add to that my 8 month old who is also waking me for b feeds and I'm bloody knackered.

I normally put him on potty at 11.30-12 before I go up to bed, but last night he still woke at 3am telling me he needed a wee. He's dry at night, but only because he wees in the middle of night.

So what to do? I don't think he will actually piss in his pants (pull ups) 😂. He's 2 years and 10 months and he's finally starting to pull up his pants and trousers. He's okay with his pull ups as he just wears these and no pyjamas at night. So.. Do I just leave the potty outside his door and tell him to go if he wakes. Anyone tried this? Did it work?

Unfortunately this is what parenting is about they need you you go he is still very young an tobe potty trained at his age through the night is great for his age. Hopefully the waking you up stage won't last long like suggested above try potty in his room.

@Rubyroost

😂 *@RubbishQueen* I do need some sleep, but I would have still told that poster to fuck off, sleep deprived or not.

And you wonder why people are calling you rude

Honestly OP I said nothing remotely bad to you. Telling someone to fuck off because they said your 2 year old still needs you is ridiculous.

@Debradoyourecall I remember getting to this stage with my current toddler and then suddenly he just started to sleep through,. I think this one is different. He doesn't need feeding at night, it seems to be comfort and he's shooting up the percentiles in terms of weight! 😳

@FundamentallyFucked where did I say I was wondering why people called me rude?
I stand by my comment, yours was unhelpful and patronising. I asked for experience re leaving potty in room, not to carry on as I am.
But thanks as a result I have had lots of traffic and lots of helpful ideas.

where did I say I was wondering why people called me rude?

My mistake. Stupid mistake.

I wasn't being patronising by telling you your 2 year old still needs you though, if you genuinely think that was deserving of a fuck off then you probably have more problems than your child needing a pee at night.

@fundamentallyFucked oh yes it's the usual condescending reply I've come to expect from some mumsnet terms. I'm trying to teach him to use a potty at night, that doesn't mean I'm not there for him. It's extremely patronising because you're assuming as a mother I don't know what my child needs.

Mumsnetters

My LO was 4 before they figured it out fully so brace yourself. Best of luck with the sleep thiefs!

It's extremely patronising because you're assuming as a mother I don't know what my child needs.

I didn't make any assumptions. You seem to be second guessing what I meant when I said he needs you. I literally meant 'it's a bit crap but he still needs you'. There was no undertone or secondary meaning. There was no judgement your ability to know your child or to parent him. It was a really quick response to a post asking about potty's and what to do. I was simply saying carry on getting up. I didn't take the time to analyse your reasoning. I tend to take and write things at face value.

@AlwaysLatte snuggle whilst I feed 😳 Four in the bed. I don’t see how that would be helpful for anyone, least of all my toddler who will then also be missing out on sleep. He doesn’t stay awake, he has a wee and goes straight back to bed happily.
Understood, they're all different. It's good that he goes straight back to bed OK. Ours were happier when we put them into our bed and they'd just go straight off, but some little ones like to party!

I get it OP. I was in a very similar boat when my eldest was potty trained. It clicked immediately and he night trained at the same time and was under 3. And I had a baby at the same time. DS would cry to be taken to the bathroom around 2/3am every night. He wouldn’t pee in his pull up. Obv that woke me (not DH) and I was feeding a baby so could do without any extra wake ups

For us the solution was DH taking him to pee around 11pm. Which I know you do and doesn’t seem to be helping as he still needs to go later in the night. I have no additional suggestions, just wanted to say I get it! He will hopefully grow out of it.

My DS has been happily taking himself to pee in the night now since he was about 4. It’s not every night. He gets up and then goes straight back to bed. We’ve never had a wet bed

My DD just turned 3 and is in pull ups overnight and I’m no rush to take them away as I am finally getting a full nights sleep after many years.

@Rubyroost as the baby is doing so well with his weight perhaps you could soon try what my HV suggested to me - going down to just one milk feed at night and sending your DH in with water the other times. Especially if you think he’s only waking for comfort. The idea is that they’re less likely to want to wake up for water... with my eldest we did this and stopped bf/any milk feeds completely at around 14 months old but HV said to me could do it now with my 10 month old. Check first if you’re not sure of course as they’re all different. Think if you can get the baby waking less that will make a huge difference. Bloody hard isn’t it.

Op you have a very young child who need your help. You are asking a lot of him to be able to take himself to the toilet at night not even 3.

You don't have a child problem you have a husband problem. He needs to pull his weight.

He's nearly 3! Assuming he doesn't have a dangerous staircase to negotiate, can he not take himself to the loo for a wee in the night? Put a little nightlight in the loo (we had ours on the cistern) and another on the landing if necessary.

Anyway I told DD2 it was ok to wee in her night time nappy. Worked fine, didn’t affect daytime wees at all.
Downside is she was then in night time nappies for 2 more years

No shit, Sherlock!

This thread is a bit of an eye opener really......It's not ok to tell a child whose body and mind is telling them to get up to use a potty or toilet to simply wee in their nappy instead cos their parent can't be bothered getting up to help them. Even if it's every night. You wouldn't ignore the needs of a crying baby so why on earth would anyone want to ignore the needs of a 2 or 3 year old when they need help with their bodily functions??? It's bordering on neglectful in my view and I'm pretty sure that a health visitor would think the same on hearing that, unless there was a strong case for doing it occasionally eg single parent who was unwell or something.

I know it wasn't you who wrote that, OP, but if you are becoming so tired that you can't cope with getting up to help each night then you need to have a word with your husband. We've all been there and sleep deprivation with kids is truly shit. Try a few different solutions but please god let it not be telling your kid to wee in their nappy cos you and your husband are too tired to get up.

@CurlyhairedAssassin to be fair to the op, I don't think she was suggesting this. I think the thread title was tongue in cheek and she doesn't actually want her toddler to 'piss his pants'.
There's nothing wrong with trying to teach a toddler to try and use the potty at night and each individual is different.
Just be prepared for it to perhaps not work, but no harm in trying. He's nearly 3 so I don't think the is expecting too much, some toddlers are more independent than others! I think there's some helpful advice on here and when struggling with sleep there's nothing wrong with trying to make things better. Night weaning as suggested by another poster may also take the pressure off a little.

Will he go to the bathroom to use the potty (if he can't manage the toilet)? At least then it's on the bathroom floor if there are any misses!

We have plug in auto sensor lights in the hallway & bathroom.

& yes, 'it works' as long as they can pull up the pull-ups! Get him going by himself in the daytime first though.

It's liberating once they can sort themselves out for wees at least! (Sweets may have been involved🤣)

I wouldn't tell a toilet trained child to just wee in their pull up either,

I'm pretty sure that a health visitor would think the same on hearing that

But honestly, WGAF what the HV thinks? The vast majority of them shouldn't be allowed out on their own, let alone near new parents.

I think you need to have a VERY stern word with your hubby and give him a bloody good shake and dig in the ribs to get up with toddler, a few sharp digs over a couple of nights from a very pissed off sleep deprived mummy will soon get his arse out of bed!

I think this would be the quickest and easiest way for you to get some sleep ASAP, then when you’re better rested sort out your eldest going potty on his own at night/let his bladder start holding it for longer. It takes the pressure off DS needing to do this yet also, I think he’s still quite young to expect it.

My son has just turned 3 and dry at night, if he needs a wee in the night he calls us, he can’t manage the toilet on his own yet (or potty really, he still isn’t great at getting his bottoms up or down, he’s super lazy on the dressing front - great as he’s a dream to dress in the mornings as let’s me get on with it, but I do worry ill still be dressing him when he’s 21 😂)

I’m 19 weeks pregnant and when baby comes I’ll deal with them at night, hubby sorts toddler (he’s a pain and still doesn’t sleep through most nights, even if he doesn’t wake for toilet!)

The quickest and easiest solution seems to me for your hubby to wake up for toddler?

It's not ok to tell a child whose body and mind is telling them to get up to use a potty or toilet to simply wee in their nappy instead cos their parent can't be bothered getting up to help them.

Wow, had no idea this would be so controversial. DD was potty trained pretty early (just after 2). Her “mind and body” were telling her to use the potty only because that’s what I’d told her to do during the day, not because of some innate instinct or dislike of nappies, so I really don’t see the big issue with telling her it’s different at night. It’s not like I left her crying night after night - after being told it’s ok to pee in the pull up once or twice she stopped waking and simply weed in her sleep - just like she did before potty training and like she would have done if I’d left potty training to later.

Actually I think it was much more important for her, and us, to get a better night’s sleep than us all waking up for her to use the potty. Broken sleep has plenty of downsides for the children too, it’s not simply a question of the adult being lazy.

And hahaha at the HV thinking it’s neglectful. 2 year old wees in nappy at night. Yeah child abuse.

I hate it when a mother comes asking for advice and is then ripped to shreds by other judgemental parents.

Before I had my son, I was unaware of this 'perfect parenting' and belittling other mothers, it's just plain nasty.

*I hate it when a mother comes asking for advice and is then ripped to shreds by other judgemental parents.

Before I had my son, I was unaware of this 'perfect parenting' and belittling other mothers, it's just plain nasty.*

To be fair, the OP had told others to "fuck off" by about 5 messages in, despite not being abused in the first instance by anyone. She then defended her right to "tell whoever I like to fuck off" after messages were repeatedly deleted by moderators.

And that's just "plain old nasty" where I come from I'm afraid!

I'm sure op was perfectly aware of her sons age and the fact that a 3 year old still needs their parents. Extremely helpful as that is.

Op your dh needs to sleep in with the toddler and get up to take him, at least for the moment while you're dealing with the baby.

@minipie do as you do, no judgement here and I wouldn't call it child abuse!

I think the op seems to have gone now, perhaps banned? 😂

Wow this got a bit derailed.... anyway, on topic....

I would take the opportunity to try and night train him, if the child is trying to. You don’t want to end up in a position where you say it’s ok to pee in pull ups at night and then spend ages at a later date, trying to undo this.

We moved our DS into a bed and took away nappies when he showed signs of dryness. Night light, mattress protector, PJs (no pants so only one item to pull down), waterproof mat and potty in room. Told him to take himself. He only wet the bed once. He was able straight away to take himself to the potty in the night by himself if needed. Worth a try.