OH sulking over DD being heavy footed with new sofa

[thestarvingcaterpillar]

Me & OH have recently moved in together, all is going ok (mostly) he's definetly a lot tidier than I am and a bit of a stickler for treating belongings with respect, I'm well on board with this but don't expect my kids to be on edge in their own home. My sofa needed replacing & I saw a perfect one on fb it wasn't very expensive & it turns out that we've got a bargain! My DD13 loves it it has the extending bit so you can stretch your legs out on one of the seats & is very cosy HOWEVER to get on & off it she keeps stepping on & off it or will flop onto it.OH is not happy about this at all & keeps telling her off, I've asked her to try not to do this but she keeps forgetting. He keeps huffing & puffing at her and I just wish we'd never bought the bloody sofa!!

With a new sofa i would tell her if she can't get on and off that bit properly she isn't to use it at all. Next time she does it she is barred.

Ive got to be honest that it would drive me potty if my children used the sofa's as a playground or just started jumping into them.

That said I have some sympathy for you/her here OP in that she's been used to treating an old sofa that way for years and really she's just behaving instinctively, rather than ignoring you.

As I also understand it, the sofa isn't one with a integral recliner the moves up/down and could easily be broken, but rather your new sofa is a combination chaise longue like the picture below so isn't in immediate danger of being broken.

Tbh I'd just keep reminding her that in order for it to last as long as its predecessor it needs to be treated with respect.

It's only been a couple of days and I don't think it will take long for her to learn new sofa habits and as such your OH needs to give her a bit of leeway - by which I don't me not pulling her up on it, but equally not going bonkers over the issue in the short term.

If she's still doing it in two weeks though she can sit on the floor

@FortunesFave This is the type of sofa OP means. It's called a Chaise style sofa.

OP I'm with your DH. You're teaching your child to be slobbish. I'd be furious if my child treated our sofa like that. We have one similar to how you describe yours and she's only 5 but she gets told off if she stands on any part of the sofa.

[quote TigerQuoll]@maryberryslayers it sounds like there is a recliner built in. If the foot rest gets stepped on too many times it will break. Like this:[/quote]
No, it's a Chaise

@DC3Dakota OP didn't say it was a chaise.

From the original post: "it has the extending bit"

"Extending" sounds like it moves, so a recliner rather than a chaise.

Even if it is a chaise (OP might clarify later), standing on it isn't on - that's all of your body weight on a tiny bit of surface area. This will lead to the support structure sagging under that force. Think of how it hurts when your cat or child stands on a fleshy part of your body for more than a few seconds. When you sit, your body weight is spread over a large area - all of your bum, plus some leaning on the backrest or armrest and your feet on the ground or on the footrest. A five year old running around in the sofa probably won't do much damage but a proper nearly adult size 40kg+ 13 year old will. Especially if it is always around the same spot on the sofa.

Is it a recliner or a corner/chaise sofa?
I have a corner sofa and the easiest way to get to the corner seat is by climbing onto it.

However you and your DP do need to agree on house rules. My ex took it upon himself to introduce random rules for my teens. It didn't end well. i ended up broken hearted

I had to smile a bit when I read this. When i was out my children got up to all sorts in the house. Jumping on the sofa was the very least of my worries.

A classic example of abuse was when I went to dust and the ornament I picked up had been smashed to pieces and very carefully put back by one of the little bastards.

New sofa
New partner
New rules

I'd be treading carefully myself if I were you, OP

If it's a recliner just don't let her recline it until she can sit nicely and get off nicely. Ds (6) went through a stage of being bombastic with our reclining bit, popping it then bouncing on it to force it down etc so he wasn't allowed to recline it until he promised not to do that or he would lose it.

At 13 I don't expect bouncing and flopping and feeting all over furniture. At 4 I don't tbh, my nephews climb and jump all over dms sofa and it's so disrespectful and rude. And unless they learn at home they won't learn.

@Aquamarine1029

His sulking about it is not helping matters at all!

I don't think he's sulking, I think he's fucking fed up with her lack of respect, behaving like a 3 year old, and you doing next to nothing about it.

This is spot on ...

OP what jumps out at me is you saying you wish you’d never bought it ..... really ?
That’s how you deal with rules / disciplined behaviour in your house ?
You’re avoiding dealing with your dd firmly and that’s what is causing this issue .

She needs to sit properly. Come on. She should know this already.

It could well be a combination of her repeating a habit and lashing out at the new dynamic.

I've just caught up on all of the replies, yes it's a chaise style sofa sorry I didn't realise the name of it. Things much calmer today, she is going to try very hard not to stand on the sofa, he is going to try not to react if she forgets I am going to try to chill out!
To answer PP's she is very respectful of other people's belongings & treats things with respect it is just this! I'm glad that other posters have either kids that do this or do it themselves!
Btw I would not recommend this style of sofa it's impossible to get on & off off!!!

My brother has one - you sit on the chair bit and then shuffle along to the chaise section if you want to lie down on it. Why is it so difficult? Am I missing something?