OH sulking over DD being heavy footed with new sofa

[thestarvingcaterpillar]

Me & OH have recently moved in together, all is going ok (mostly) he's definetly a lot tidier than I am and a bit of a stickler for treating belongings with respect, I'm well on board with this but don't expect my kids to be on edge in their own home. My sofa needed replacing & I saw a perfect one on fb it wasn't very expensive & it turns out that we've got a bargain! My DD13 loves it it has the extending bit so you can stretch your legs out on one of the seats & is very cosy HOWEVER to get on & off it she keeps stepping on & off it or will flop onto it.OH is not happy about this at all & keeps telling her off, I've asked her to try not to do this but she keeps forgetting. He keeps huffing & puffing at her and I just wish we'd never bought the bloody sofa!!

@maryberryslayers it sounds like there is a recliner built in. If the foot rest gets stepped on too many times it will break. Like this:

This is so anal, what does it matter. I assume she has no shoes on and she isn’t using the sofa as a trampoline?

How he's controlling because he doesn't want a 13 year old standing on furniture. WTF.

*Now

@Aquamarine1029

I am in total agreement with your partner. Your daughter needs to treat things with respect. She is old enough to know better, and it's your job to ensure she does. She's 13, not 3.

Absolutely this.

I can't really imagine caring how someone chooses to get on and off a sofa, why does it matter? If there's one end that permanently extends then what damage is she even doing by climbing on to it?

I never realised standing in a sofa was such a big deal. I stand on mine when dusting cobwebs, and I always have my feet up on a sofa - isn’t that what they’re for?

@thestarvingcaterpillar

Thank you *@WanderlustWitch* that's exactly it it is an unusual style sofa it's awkward to get on and off she's not the spawn of Satan or malicious she just hops on and off the easiest way! I tell her not to use her feet to push herself off she will learn!!

Does everybody else get on and off this sofa in the same way OP? If so, I might be able to see your point. However, it sounds like it's just her doing it this way, and that you are being a bit indulgent (as well as quite defensive on here). As the parent living there, it's your responsibility to rein her behaviour in.

Some of the nasty responses on this thread are unreal! She's 13 ffs. So does everyone on here sit down on their sofa like their waiting for afternoon tea with the Queen?

[quote TigerQuoll]@maryberryslayers it sounds like there is a recliner built in. If the foot rest gets stepped on too many times it will break. Like this:[/quote]
See, I was picturing more one of the sofas with a huge chaise section. The modern ones, where it's really, really wide. With they type of recliner you're thinking of, I'd be raging at people stepping on it. With the type of sofa I'M thinking of, I'd be the first one climbing all over it...

@TigerQuoll thank you, that made me laugh 😂

@grapewine because it's not his 13 year old or his sofa and OP, who is responsible for both, doesn't seem too bothered.

I'm always standing on my sofa btw, to reach cobwebs, to get comfy in the corner (it a corner sofa). My DC come in and flop on it because it's comfy and it's their home!! It was new in September but I can't be that anal about a piece of bloody furniture!

What's your partner like in general with your kids? You talk about being on edge etc ... is this a one off sulk about a sofa or are their other things about your kids that hes intolerant of?

I think there's more at play than just this issue which is actually a non issue

I’m in the minority but I think you and OH need to cut her some slack.

I don’t agree with standing on furniture BUT it sounds like she was always allowed to stand on the old sofa and it’s only been 2 days since the rules have changed due to new sofa.

2 days is not long to change a long standing habit. Keep reminding her, she will change her habits soon.

@peachypetite

Just saw you let her do the same on your old sofa because it was old. Maybe try and teach her some respect for things?!

This. I’ll never understand why people let small children climb on sofas and other furniture.

@TigerQuoll, top diagram.

The way your dd treats your stuff, it makes me wonder if she treats other people’s possessions poorly when she is a guest at her friends’ homes. I think perhaps it would be useful to teach her to respect other people’s property rather than throwing your arms up and saying “she will learn”. Preferably before she damages something in someone else’s Homs.

@WanderlustWitch

Some of the nasty responses on this thread are unreal! She's 13 ffs. So does everyone on here sit down on their sofa like their waiting for afternoon tea with the Queen?

No, but they probably don't stand on it either

He's right, I'd be pissed off too.
She would not be allowed to sit on that bit if she couldn't do it without standing on it. She's plenty old enough not to forget and to have consequences of she does.

I wasnt picturing a recliner but one like mine which is an L shape but really wide at the bottom that you can only sit on with your feat up or extended like lying down.

If its like mine to get to one end then you either need to sit and then sort of shuffle over to get the bit with the other arm rest. Its a fucking pain in the back side and to be honest I stand on it all the time to get to that side.

This is one of those things you will have to negotiate as a blended family. Its been two days since you bought it I would be pissed of with huffing, puffing and sulking. Hardly a great start for the actual serious stuff is it.

Keep reminding her and tell him you don't appreciate him acting like a 13 year old himself. Such a small issue should not be causing this much tension between you.

@Arielsgift well I stand on mine. I really couldn't be that fussed about a piece of furniture.

@Maybe83 Sounds like mine, to get to the corner you either have to stand on it or do a weird backwards bum shuffle.

OPs DP needs to chill out a bit, learn to pick his battles or it's not going to pan out great for any of them imo.

Sofas are expensive and our old sofa got broken by one person flopping onto it - it obviously sank down on their side where their heavy handed -arse- way of sitting down literally broke the base. No it wasnt a cheap sofa either, it shouldve lasted years and years

Realistically, will her putting her weight on her feet momentarily have any more effect than putting her weight on her bum for prolonged periods?

We have similar arguments in our house e.g. about whether it’s OK to rest feet on the coffee table.

I’d be inclined to tell him to let it go as it’s really not worth all this aggro.

@SillyCow6

Sofas are expensive and our old sofa got broken by one person flopping onto it - it obviously sank down on their side where their heavy handed -arse- way of sitting down literally broke the base. No it wasnt a cheap sofa either, it shouldve lasted years and years

See, mine cost £250 about 9 or 10 years ago. I stand on it, jump off it, climb in and out of it, sleep on it a night or so a week and allow my children to use it as a form of indoor play equipment and it's going strong! Get a cheap one next time.