Delaying school starts of Summer Born children.

[ThornAmongstRoses]

Morning all,

I posted in AIBU a few weeks about me considering delaying my summer born from starting school next August, A week after turning four, and instead wait until the following year when he will just have turned 5.

I got so many conflicting replies - and although it left me a bit dizzy I could see both sides of the argument.

So now I thought I would try on here to hopefully get some real life stories of parents who had or hadn’t delayed their summer born’s start and how their child got on in school?

Looking for all honest experiences, good and bad.

Thank you.

My first tip would be to not ask about it on Mumsnet for some reason the majority on here are against it speaking from personal experience.

If you aren't already aware of them find the Facebook groups 'Flexible Admissions for Summer borns' and 'Summer born children at school'

If you've already had a thread on this I'm not sure another is going to be any more helpful.

I believe that the evidence is that the disadvantage of being summer born at school for children in England persists for a long time. But I'm not aware of any evidence about whether they actually do better when they start later - although it would make sense. It's on average so you'll get lots of people saying my child was fine. My opinion is that you have to look at your child and decide what would be best.

For what it's worth my summer born DS, is flying in yr2, we've just had parents evening and his teacher was very complimentary and we know (we were told) he is one of 4 children starting their accelerated reading scheme so appears to be in the top group in the class (other comments mean I know this to be true across subjects not just reading). We debated whether to defer him but thought it wasn't in his interests as he seemed bright and was interested in learning - which I know is a tricky judgement at 3.

If you aren't already aware of them find the Facebook groups 'Flexible Admissions for Summer borns' and 'Summer born children at school'

Thanks for the tip - I joined the Flexible Admissions groups following advice I got on my AIBU thread. The problem with it though was that it was focused on people who had made the decision to delay and were in the process of doing it, whereas I am more interested in the experiences of people who did or didn’t do it and whether it turned out to be the right decision or not.

I will have a look at the other group you suggested though and see if that helps.

If you've already had a thread on this I'm not sure another is going to be any more helpful.

I guess I’m hoping that replies from parents who have been there and done that (or not) might give me a more accurate picture than those who posted on AIBU with their opinions who might not have had any experience of the matter.

Our August born son started school at CSA and we have no regrets about it. I think he would have coped academically if he had started at 4 but would have struggled emotionally. He’s now in year 2 and loves school (helped by an amazing teacher this year). It’s obvious who the summer born boys are in his year as most of the girls are autumn / winter born.

Also I found the FB group invaluable when we were going through the process but I never really had any doubts about it.

We didn't delay. DS is August born. Pre school he was bright but not very capable- speech and language, motor skills etc not great. He languished a bit until half way through Year 1, but we weren't worried about him and never regretted or doubted our decision. In year 1 suddenly he flew. Moved from bottom table to top table in reading and maths in the course of a single term. I see someone posted above to say their summer born child took off in a similar way in year 2, which is interesting.

I think being around older peers allowed him to flourish. Now he's grown and we see he's bright, it would have been awful if he was stuck in the year below. Even if he wasn't so 'academic', he'd be so bored.

It's also played to his advantage in age grouping in sports.

I think most people follow their gut instinct and, you know what, their DC end up in the place that's right for them. I think support groups and MN can support you during the process, but the initial decision is yours alone. Follow your gut based on your child and your priorities, parenting style etc

Follow your gut based on your child and your priorities, parenting style etc

My gut is all over the place.

I would say at least twice a day I change my mind.

Have you talked to school admissions at your LEA?
I was debating delaying DS starting school due to poor speech. The application has to be approved by an educational psychologist and they have to return to the correct year group by secondary school in the area I’m in. It was the return to year group at some point in primary that has made me decide to send him at just 4.
If it doesn’t work out for ds at the catchment school which he will get into and is very popular with out of catchment parents I will change schools to a very rural one that is excellent but always has places due to location. The second option would require 40 miles of driving a day for me.
I have contacted the head of the catchment school to find out how they will deal with this issues as he is academically very able.

I'm in Scotland so not the same at all, but I deferred my son to the following year. Here, you have to have turned 4 by 28 February of the year that they start and my son is an end of January birthday so should have gone to school at 4 and a half. He seemed immature to me and I was allowed to send him the following year. He has done very well at school so far (primary 7- off to high school this August) and has even told me he thought that was the right decision. Not sure what he based that on but still!! I feel it's far too young to send them to school if they have literally just turned 4 but luckily this doesn't happen in Scotland. He probably would have been fine starting at 4.5 but I would have really worried if he had been only just 4.

Have you talked to school admissions at your LEA? I was debating delaying DS starting school due to poor speech. The application has to be approved by an educational psychologist and they have to return to the correct year group by secondary school in the area I’m in. It was the return to year group at some point in primary that has made me decide to send him at just 4.

The school and LEA are on board.

At the end of the day the children don’t legally have to go to school until they are 5, so nobody can stop us from delaying him. The only issue is whether the school is happy to allow the child to start in reception, or whether they say the child should go straight into Year 1.

Thankfully the school we want him to go (the one his brother goes to) said they would always start delayed children in Reception.

It used to be the case that the child had to return to their ‘normal’ cohort before going to Secondary school but the LEA say this is not the case anymore and children, unless in extreme circumstances, would be kept with their adopted cohort. The gentleman I spoke to at the LEA said he has never known there be an issue with a delayed child starting secondary school alongside the children they’ve always been taught alongside.

It used to be the case that there had to be reason for delay, but the Admissions Policy now states that being Summer Born is enough of a reason alone to delay their school entry because of the recognised impact it has.

I'm in Scotland too with a January boy. For me it wasn't academic issues that made me defer it was basics like being able to sit and concentrate. It's interesting now that he is older but the differences in behaviours between my son and those that are a full year younger than him are the things that made me glad to have deferred. The younger children (boys) are seen as the "naughtier" ones. I have friends who have daughters who didn't defer and now wish they did- they find that their daughters have struggled with the work and wish they had had another year to allow them to have matured and been ready for school..the thought of sending a just turned 4 year old to school is everything that is wrong with an education system.

I haven’t done this personally but there is a child in dd’s class who has. The child starting at CSA is flying but is very obviously older than all of the other children. There is more than a years difference between her and the youngest child in the class (late August in the correct cohort) and if I’m honest it’s quite difficult to watch. It isn’t helped by the older child outwardly having every advantage (socially, economically etc) and the little one having very few of these advantages. It’s very noticeable and there have been a lot of comments from parents at drop off and pick up times. I wouldn’t want my child subjected to that and so I think I’d send them to their correct cohort unless delaying was very common in the school/community/society.

The parents of a summer born boy in the other class to our son were told he was going to “fail” to meet expectations by the end of reception. He wasn’t even 5 until the summer holidays. I’m aware that the teacher handled the situation badly but I’m not sure what the effect of the message of constantly failing has on small children.

The child starting at CSA is flying but is very obviously older than all of the other children.

I’ve had a few people say this to me but there will no doubt be some September borns in the class too, therefore my son would only be a few weeks older than the next older child in the class - so it’s not a huge difference.

There are three children born in September in my older son’s class, so they wouldn’t be much younger than any delayed child there might also be in their class who were born in August.

One thing that did shock me as I was looking into all this, was that even children born as early as April are allowed to delay for a year. I genuinely thought only July and August babies could be delayed, but obviously not.

I can’t imagine it’s very common for April/May Children to be deferred for a year though? But who knows?!

George22 - that’s awful, poor boy.

A Summer Born boy in my older son’s class wasn’t allowed to progress to Year 1 with his class as he hadn’t been able to meet the expectations of Reception and knew he wouldn’t be able to cope with the academic work of Year 1. It was heartbreaking for him. He had to watch all his friends go up whilst he was kept behind to repeat reception.

It’s things like that which worry me.

My daughter is end of July. When she started school if I had deferred she would have had to go straight in to year 1, so I didn't. She struggled in reception (not as play based 17 years ago), but then went on to do ok. At sixth form a bit more maturity might have helped.

If I went back in time and could have deferred, I think perhaps I would not. Her peers in secondary school would all have known she was a year 'behind'.

That’s the thing though isn’t it. If all the July/August borns delay, the May/June borns would be the youngest and have the disadvantage. No one wants their child to be the youngest! The problem with allowing some (pushy?) parents to delay is that it widens the gap massively between the oldest/most able, who are generally already advantaged, and the littlest whose parents can’t/don’t. Obviously that is a massive generalisation but it’s the pattern that I’ve seen. Those children it works for go from being disadvantaged by their being the youngest to super advantaged by being older than the oldest. Whilst I wouldn’t blame any parent for wanting that for child, I worry about the implications for the youngest/most disadvantaged.

My solution would be for the cut off to be 31 March so all children are at least 4.5 when they start and summer borns would be slap bang in the middle of the year.

A Summer Born boy in my older son’s class wasn’t allowed to progress to Year 1 with his class as he hadn’t been able to meet the expectations of Reception

Are you in the UK? As that doesn't sound right at all. Not all children will meet the ELG, (Early learning goals) but that alone wouldn't be a reason for holding them back a year.

As for delaying, or starting at CSA, I would say it should be about what is best for your child. Asking for other opinions / experiences is fine, but those children aren't your child. Do the nursery have any concerns?

I deferred DD. She had a diagnosed speech disorder and her preschool said she had social and concentration issues. She would have absolutely sunk in Reception at just turned 4. She's in Yr 1 now and I am so pleased we held her back.

She was one of two children deferred in her preschool, and I know of at least two children in the current Reception cohort who were deferred until CSA.

How does it work if summer borns start in reception at age 5? Do they skip a year so that they an start secondary school at 11, or do they start secondary school at 12?

DD is summer born, but our LA had staggered starts in reception when she started school 15 years ago, so she started in the January when she was four and a half.

We didn’t delay for July born son. He was fine but exhausted and had to go to bed quite early as the effort of school wore him out. But no problems with keeping up etc, just tired.

My son has a June birthday, he also had a hearing impairment and has suffered trauma. I didn’t hold him back a year and I regret that decision.

Academically (as much as a 4 year old can be ‘academic’) he was ready for school, emotionally he wasn’t. Last year in the first term we had almost daily meltdowns, often he would be so worked up he would be sick, he often couldn’t self soothe at school so I would regularly pick him up early. He improved a tiny bit in the winter term.

This September his start to school was fairly smooth, we are averaging one school related meltdown a week and he is sometimes managing to self soothe at school. He is also noticeably different at home, last year weekday evenings were a nightmare, he was extra clingy, extra controlling, his sleep was poor. This year he is a completely different child.

I really wish I had kept him back a year, it would have benefitted him hugely, I’m just pleased that lockdown meant I didn’t have to make the decision to remove him from school, a decision I was very close to making.

OP this probably isn't going to help you, but both my kids went to small schools which had mixed year groups. Because KS1 has smaller classes this means that R, Yr1 and Yr2 are split between two classes.

DS1, summer born but actually more capable than most, did two years in the first class room and one year in the second, while DS2, September, did one year in the first and two in the second. And there wasn't actually a hard and fast rule for which kids moved up and which didn't (I know one mother didn't want her son to spend two years in the first classroom and she felt he was already the 'baby' of the family and didn't need this reinforcing - ironically he was the least mature and capable kid in the class from what I remember).

That said both mine went to full time nursery from 3 months so there was no concern about them being tired at the end of the day etc - they both went straight into after school clubs as well. I know for some children this can be more of an issue but I don't know if that's related to birthday date or not.