Bored of looking after baby

[Nicknamegoeshere]

Just that really. It's soooooo isolating and very boring. She's 4.5 months.

I don't have any friends and I don't want to make any.

She is EBF and doesn't sleep much. Being a baby of course she wants lots of attention.

Anyone else ever felt similar?

Can I ask why you don’t want to make friends?

Do you manage to get out in the day: walks to the park etc?

I didn’t enjoy the newborn phase very much - it was at about 6 months that things improved for me but having friends in similar situations and trying to get out everyday made all the difference for me x

Yes I felt similar. I also don’t have any friends so it was a bit of a lonely time for me. I made sure I went for a good walk every morning and then baby napped on me while I watched Netflix in the afternoons.
I then got pregnant again when baby was 5 months so now I have my own team of little people
Once they get older it gets easier. My first is now 2 and we can actually have small conversations and it’s lovely. Not so lonely anymore

@NewMum0305 I'm am older mum so all of my existing friends have much older kids. Plus I'll be returning to work ft in Feb so little point really.

Baby not a napper really. She'll do about 20 mins at a time max.

And because of Covid classes are crap.

And because of Covid classes are crap.

I know what you mean. I’ve not done any classes for this reason

Can you bring forward your return to work date? Some of us aren't cut out to be a SAHM and there's no shame in that.

@Toebarb I could ask, but not sure how I'd get childcare or if we could afford for me to work ft for that reason? We don't have much money.

@newmum234 I tried a music one but sitting on a "naughty mat" and singing with a bloody mask on is no fun whatsoever!

[quote Nicknamegoeshere]@Toebarb I could ask, but not sure how I'd get childcare or if we could afford for me to work ft for that reason? We don't have much money.[/quote]
If it's to keep you both sane, you can return to work even if that means just a small increase in net household income at the end of the month.

@MinesAPintOfTea It's a bit complicated. So before mat leave I was working ft as a TA, just slightly above min wage. Loved it. Really loved it. SEN specialism.

So if I went back to that role ft and baby in childcare ft I'd probably be looking at minus numbers?

However....

I'm a qualified teacher.

So if school has a place for me as a pt teacher I'd be earning far, far more than a TA, even ft.

I mean I don't enjoy the hours of work and evenings and weekends as a teacher but needs must.

Is it worth starting to investigate during naptimes? Even just knowing you are looking into options might help you feel this time isn't endless.

Fwiw, I went back to uni without any childcare funding when DS was 7mo. My net contribution to household finances was well into negatives

A few things struck me from your post, which I would perhaps look at before thinking about early return to work.

Firstly, 4-5 months after giving birth is a very common time to feel very down. This is the time that your hormones start to settle down after all pregnancy/birth. It's also why your hair is probably falling out, another cheery aspect of post pregnancy life. Little babies are pretty dull to be quite frank (they do improve), but if you are feeling very low perhaps think about talking to a HV or GP as it is also a common time for PND to hit (for the same reasons).

Secondly, you say she is only napping for 20 minutes at a time - is this in bed or somewhere else? Because I would definitely try to change that, whether it is by taking long pushchair walks/runs, or trying a sling, or watching tv with her on your chest. If you can change your thought process to "I'm going to enjoy a couple of months of nice walks/snuggly tv naps/getting slowly back in to running with my baby" from "this is shit, I want to go back to doing the stuff I used to" it helps. Honestly, I was exactly the same, and did indeed develop serious PND. Second time round I have tried to embrace it, because I now have evidence that it really does pass. So I try to think of the restless nights where the baby won't settle and you just have to go lie with them from 8.30 as relaxing evenings of reading instead of being irritated that I can't be downstairs doing my own thing. Or days when he is really unsettled and just wants to be outside as an opportunity to have lots of fresh air and walk off some of the millions of biscuits I am eating.

@MinesAPintOfTea But we wouldn't be able to pay the bills if my contribution was into negatives?

@Montgomerystubercles She contact naps a lot and we bedshare.

I think many are in the same boat. I would say aim to ge out every day. even if it,s not in a group. Go to a park/ wood, even the cornor shop. Do you know anyone else who is a mum with a youngen who you can talk to.?

@june2007 I don't know anyone else with young kids. I also have a 10 and 13 yo half of the time so my set-up is quote different. I try to get out but don't have much money to spend and bored of coffee shops!!!

*quite

Ok, so that option is out. Still doesn't mean you can't investigate how much childcare would cost, are you signed up for vouchers etc?

What was your plan for the next year or so? What do you want to do?

@MinesAPintOfTea Think vouchers only come in when child is two?

So plan was return to work pt (hopefully as a teacher as much better wage than TA) in Feb. Baby with childminder.

I see you said she contact naps and you also bedshare, maybe you're feeling this way as you feel you don't have any time to yourself anymore?
Maybe you could find a way to have a bit of 'me time' every now and then just to remind yourself you're human and not just a machine looking after a baby (this is how I sometimes felt with my first).

I loved and hated the new born phase too. I was bored 90% of the time and had to actively try to fill my days with activities

There is a tax-saving vouchers scheme which I think is from birth. Different to the full paid voucher scheme.

If you are going to work in Feb, that's only 4 more months. Focus on that: Christmas in the middle and you've got about 12 lots of 5 day weeks to get through. Can you read whilst she naps with you?

@MinesAPintOfTea Thank you, def worth a look into as OH is also a relatively low earner so every penny will help.

I watch a bit of TV sometimes but not in the mood to read really. I find it difficult to concentrate.