Bored of looking after baby

[Nicknamegoeshere]

Just that really. It's soooooo isolating and very boring. She's 4.5 months.

I don't have any friends and I don't want to make any.

She is EBF and doesn't sleep much. Being a baby of course she wants lots of attention.

Anyone else ever felt similar?

For what it's worth, 4-5 months was a bit of a shitty time. Baby didn't sleep well and I got 0 time to myself. Needed entertaining but didn't 'play'.

Once we hit 6m, DC1 was sleeping in their cot, got a decent nap routine and we started weaning. They started playing and I loved the fact my days were busy with eating/playing.

No point to my post really other than to just say it gets better!

I feel you OP, I found it really quite boring up until DD was about 6 months, it must be so much harder during lockdown.
I had that 'not wanting to see friends' feeling too, I felt like I didnt want to leave the house, the effort of getting ready was too much. I ended up being diagnosed with PND when she was around 4 months.
When I went back to work I really missed the time I had had with her when she was small, but when your in that moment it's hard to look to how you will feel even in a weeks time.
Try and push yourself to go out for walks, listening to a podcast and pushing the pram gave me a bit of routine and broke up the day.

@ ChrissyPlummer Thank you. I'm only qualified to teach primary unfortunately otherwise I'd definitely consider that.

I try to get out every day although nowhere indoors to go atm. Supermarket is dangerous as we are on a tight budget so don't want to spend much!

Walks around the village are great but I find it gets a bit repetitive and baby won't tolerate too long in the pram.

Saw my HV yesterday who has been great. There is so much going on in my life that it's hard so she's referred me for CBT which will hopefully help.

She asked me to sit down last night and write a list of all the positives about me. It's still blank!

@Handsoffisback I'm an AP so bedsharing and contact napping have always been part of life. It's not easy at times but makes life so much easier in other ways and I believe it's best for baby.

You sound depressed op. Can you drive? Maybe going further afield somewhere new?

Maybe dh needs to take some time off? Some support could make all the difference. You sound in a bad place if you can't even list one good thing in your life You need to speak to dh about taking some time off. I am quite worried about you, and I don't even know you. Unless you are always like this, glass half empty - I should think you need some proper intervention. It IS very hard the early days with a baby, and the lockdown is making that even worse - but there is a emptiness in your posts that I can feel from here. A blood test at the GP for a full check too, should you have iron def or similar. for you

@Nicknamegoeshere ah, I see. I’m also finding it difficult to concentrate on things I used to love (reading and TV/films). I’ve been taking Sertraline for a few months now as I was struggling with working and having a CEV DH. It has helped.

Try to take small steps; I found reading short stories by my favourite authors (PG Wodehouse is one) is less daunting than reading a book. Watching old sitcoms as I know what’s coming so don’t really have to concentrate but they’re comforting.

Positive things: you have a job you love that helps vulnerable children, you qualified as a teacher, you are doing your best for your children and your OH. I’m sure there’s lots more but I don’t know you!

@Ihaveyourback Aw thank you for caring. OH is brilliant but can't take any more time off work. He was diagnosed with a serious back condition a little while back so had to go for emergency spinal surgery and then had to take time off to recover so can't afford any more. He's getting better with his mobility and not having falls any more so that's good.

There's a huge back story to my anxiety and I think I'm just at the point where I'm reaching my limit. I do feel atm like I'm surviving rather than living and I have potentially very bad news looming over me.

I'm trying so hard but feel like I'm a burden. I know I need to find the positives and really hoping that soon I can

@ChrissyPlummer Aw thank you. You've made me smile x

@Nicknamegoeshere

@ ChrissyPlummer Thank you. I'm only qualified to teach primary unfortunately otherwise I'd definitely consider that.

I try to get out every day although nowhere indoors to go atm. Supermarket is dangerous as we are on a tight budget so don't want to spend much!

Walks around the village are great but I find it gets a bit repetitive and baby won't tolerate too long in the pram.

Saw my HV yesterday who has been great. There is so much going on in my life that it's hard so she's referred me for CBT which will hopefully help.

She asked me to sit down last night and write a list of all the positives about me. It's still blank!

In what way are you only qualified to teach primary? If you've got QTS you can teach any age range. I qualified as primary but so teach GCSE English in a mainstream secondary, and I'm not the only teacher with a similar background.

@SuperbGorgonzola I'm not clever enough to teach secondary. I'm OK with English but definitely not secondary maths!

So you have:

A new baby
A mother whom is recovering from cancer but has clearly been ill
Husband with mobility issues after emergency surgery
A pandemic
And potentially worse to come

And you are wondering why you feel like you do?
That is enough for anyone op. Please do the CBT and get as much support as you can. Please talk to your friends, in the evenings and at weekends about how hard it is at the moment.

It sounds tough. You are right to feel exhausted by it. Look after yourself first and foremost. Your mother, husband etc all have valid reasons why they are having their own battles, but your baby relies on you to be well.

I wouldn't doubt yourself! You're clearly an educated person to have become a teacher anyway.

The advantage of secondary for me is the collaboration within larger departments; there is always someone teaching the same unit as me to share ideas, resources, expertise and planning. Loads of opportunities to observe each other informally and get ideas. Your subject knowledge is always tip top because you're only doing that one subject too.

I love it. I don't think I'd like to go back to primary now.

@Ihaveyourback Yes. I'm facing losing my two boys to my ex-husband as he's taking me to court yet again for further custody. If he wins I'll get to see them just EOW. It escalated when he found out I was pregnant although he's never forgiven me for leaving him.

But I can't really complain as I know this is nothing compared to what some people are facing right now. I'm trying so hard to be the best mum/partner/daughter/sister I can be.

Thank you so much for caring.

Ditch the baby talk. Just for a few minutes talk about something totally different. Keep your brain cells working by reading a newspaper or book, watching a current affairs programme, doing a crossword or a word search.

Oh goodness, that is awful op. No wonder you feeling so under strain. That is massive thing. Enormous.

I doubt he will be successful - being pregnant and having a baby are not grounds to move children. I see why you are reluctant to get any professional help - as I am sure you will be worried it will be used against you (It won't of course) I am so sorry this is happening. I hope you have some good legal representation and support.

All you can do now is really take care of you, this is a stage in life that is going to be so hard and gritting your teeth and getting through it is all you can do.

I couldn't wait to get back to work, looking after babies is incredibly boring. I didn't have another one.
I don't think people realise until they have one how awful it is.

@madcatladyforever With a 10 and 13 yo I'd kind of forgotten!! And my fiancé's first (and last) so he couldn't remind me!!

The name of the scheme changed, its now tax free childcare. If the finances on going back are marginal, it might help: www.gov.uk/get-tax-free-childcare?step-by-step-nav=f237ec8e-e82c-4ffa-8fba-2a88a739783b

@MinesAPintOfTea Thank you. We are both on relatively low incomes but I do have savings for a house deposit (eventually!) so not sure they will factor that in?