Bored of looking after baby

[Nicknamegoeshere]

Just that really. It's soooooo isolating and very boring. She's 4.5 months.

I don't have any friends and I don't want to make any.

She is EBF and doesn't sleep much. Being a baby of course she wants lots of attention.

Anyone else ever felt similar?

Sounds like you should look into child tax credits to pay for the childcare?

@dressinggownwearer Don't think we qualify.

I am sorry you are bored with looking after your baby. It won't be forever, you'll be going back to work in February so can suck it up until then.

@jessstan1 Thank you for your most helpful comment. You're so full of empathy it's wonderful

@jessstan1 Oh and if you're attempting to be the Grammar Police you're actually incorrect btw.

@jessstan1 why are you always so horrible? Every comment I see you write is negative and unhelpful.

OP I didnt enjoy looking after my baby when he was very little. It IS incredibly dull. I also havent done any baby classes because of COVID. We were supposed to go to swimming classes together but then lockdown 2 happened. I ended up going back to work early (part time) tbh and it saved my sanity (im a nurse). On my days where im not working I go for walks, take my son out to the supermarket to do the food shops. Anything to pass the time to get out the house really. I know you say all your friends have older children, but can you still meet up for a walk with them?

I didn’t enjoy it with my first

I hated baby groups and never felt like I had a spare moment to read by myself

I’m on maternity leave now with my second and due to go back in February too

I’ve no idea what to do about childcare. I just don’t feel I have the brain space to compute it anymore but it feels like it’s fast approaching

Baby won’t take a bottle and bedshares so I don’t think either of us are ready to be separated yet

Bloody hell you sound so negative and miserable.

Don't want to make friends

Don't want to go to classes, they're boring

Don't want to read

How about you try to find some positives. Lots of time to bond with your new baby. The newborn stage can be long and hard but it sounds like you have absolutely no interest in trying to make it better, or enjoy it even remotely. You just wanted to come on here and have a moan, then if someone comments and tells you to just get on with it, you accuse them of having no empathy.

Hi OP, maybe try and find a podcast you enjoy. I'm in a similar situation with not knowing many people locally / no baby classes etc and I find that helps. Take care xx

Agree with theantsgomarchin, I’ve seen some of your previous posts OP and they are very negative and all about how boring and annoying things are. Your time with you right baby could be more positive if you looked for the positives rather than the negatives.

Having a baby can be isolating and difficult but i think you need to get out and see people. Plenty of mums out there who feel the same, and even if your friends have older children, they will sympathise. On the days when I had nothing to do I just would go out for a walk with DD, anything to get out of the house and it really lifted my mood.

I'm currently on maternity leave with my 2nd. 5 months old. I've just arranged my kit days for January and then a return to full time work in February. Now that its organised I feel so much more able to manage, the unknown has had me so lost. Daily rate for childcare here is £50 a day, so with tax free childcare it's £40. I earn more than that a day so its definitely worth returning. Start looking into costs? Arranging kit days? Being proactive?

@QforCucumber I come out with around £65 per day and nursery around £45/£50 (tax free) per day so looking for other options currently. If my mum is still well she'll help and also I'm looking into a childminder

@Letsallscreamatthesistene My friends with older children are all at work in the day unfortunately.

@theantsgomarchin Classes in lockdown?!!

@jessstan1 what a pointless comment!

OP, omg I found it sooooo boring sometimes. Going outside definitely helps and if they nap in the car/ pram even better. I find contact naps and bed sharing sometimes difficult because I just wanted my own space so walks and a few hours in her cot have really helped me 😊

I also don’t have many friends (occasionally go for a coffee but I have baby brain and they don’t so it’s an odd combination), I do go and see my mum and sisters a lot tho so I can have a break 😂
Would you be able to palm your kid off to family for abit so you can have abit of “me” time? I find even just half an hour to sit and have a quiet brew or a shower without worrying is helpful. Good luck!

Oh and @MinesAPintOfTea what is this voucher thing you speak of?

@Hellothere19999 Thank you. My mum will sometimes have her for a bit but I don't like to put on her too much. It does make me feel better even for just half an hour as I bedshare and baby is EBF so feeling totally touched out is definitely how I feel at times.

@Nicknamegoeshere Actually yes educational classes are still going on during lockdown, our talking tots classes are still going ahead and we have been to clip theatre and other "educational" things during lockdown. But actually that's irrelevant because your comment was that sitting on a mat and singing with a mask on "is no bloody fun". Well sadly that's the reality right now. I don't particularly enjoy going to tumble tots classes and chasing around an 18m old whilst 6 months pregnant myself but I do it, because it's not just about me, it's about making the most of it and doing things my baby would enjoy. Even if it is "no bloody fun" for me!

@theantsgomarchin They have been cancelled in my area. The organisers have made the decision that while there is a "legal loophole" they could use (their words not mine), they don't feel it is worth the risk of spreading the virus.

Yep! I feel exactly the same sometimes. I’ve managed to get the her to do the first half of the night in her cot which gives me a break.
I know it does feel that way with your mum but I think they enjoy it really and would want to help you out. It’s bloody hard work!

Tumble Tots is cancelled here.

@Hellothere19999 Mum's great, but she's in remission from cancer so needs reminding to take it easy at times!

We don't have a cot but she will sleep in her pram for half hour if I'm lucky

OP I’ve seen some of your other threads regarding your ongoing situation and you’ve had a lot going on. Be kind to yourself, even though you say you don’t want to make friends just saying hello to someone in the park or the shop can lift you a bit. Look into teaching PT again if you think that’s a better option money-wise. Would teaching FE be an option as some colleges round here have crèches that give heavy discounts to staff/students? Good luck.

Babies can be isolating at the best of times but lockdown must be exacerbating any issues so I do sympathise. My dd refused to be out of my reach for the whole of my maternity leave and still seems to prefer to be touching me in some way at almost 5! It is exhausting.

I do feel like a couple of things need unpicking here though. What did you enjoy doing before you had the baby and lockdown? You can still meet a friend in the evening or at the weekend with or without the baby for a walk/outside coffee/wine in a flask. I’m getting the impression you haven’t got the motivation to force yourself into a situation that would actually really improve your overall well-being. If that’s the case you need to talk to your GP because I would suspect either depression or a vitamin deficiency might be entrenching your current apathy.

I also think you’ve dismissed an earlier return to work a bit quickly. You say there might be a teacher role for you in February. That doesn’t sound particularly certain so if that doesn’t transpire will you still return and if you would what difference does a couple of months earlier really make? If you won’t do you think perhaps that uncertainty is adding to your worries?

Are you depressed op?

You sound so down. Yes it isn't exciting, but this time is the only time you are going to have your baby that isn't compromised by working.
You need to find a way to make the most of it.
The weather isn't great, but on every sunny day out walking, show her the ducks and feed them, listen to the radio and sing along.

Take her to see the towns and cities whilst it is so quiet and easy to walk around with a pram and sightsee with a pram. Stop for a coffee. I would be doing nature walks, visit churches - most are still open. Meet for a SD coffee and walk with working friends at the weekend.

Is your mum well enough to join you for walks or other family members?

Everthing will be open in a few weeks, book now and get your December looking amazing. It is your baby's first christmas, can you prepare for that?

You may look back on this time and wished you had tried harder/or addressed your depression. You are going to be very busy from February.