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Original poster

How do you know you're "done" with having children?

95 replies

hunkermunker · 12/10/2007 20:16

Not sure I am. Sometimes I am, sometimes I'd have two more. Or three more.

If you're "through" with all that, how do you know? Do you ever get broody and want a newborn to sniff again? [mad as frogs]

OP posts:

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JemF · 15/10/2007 13:27

We have four and although the idea of another was nice the picture of the reality of another wasn't, lol.

I knew I was 100% done after no 4 started school and I got those few hours to myself 5 days a week, I'm too selfish to want another now, and whether selfish is right or wrong it's honest. I get the best of both worlds now, if I get the urge to snuggle a baby I borrow a friends, they are happy for a few hours me time, and I get to do the fun stuff with no sleepless nights and the chance to shop, visit the dentist, or just sit down and have a coffee without a tag along. Although my youngest is 6 my eldest is 16 next month, in reality I could be a gran in a few years, although I hope not, for their sake rather than my own.

JemF · 15/10/2007 13:34

Oh, and I knew I knew I was done when four friends announced their pregnancies one after the other and all I could think was... I'm not drinking the same water as them or sitting on their seats! rofl.

minesalargeone · 15/10/2007 14:13

.....when I can no longer fit into my size 12 jeans.....

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ChasingSquirrels · 15/10/2007 14:17

I am more resigned to the fact that I won't have any more - because it was such a fight to get dh to agree to dc2, and we nearly split up over it at various points. as a result a dc3 just isn't going to happen with dh, so I either accept that or I end my relationship. For a dc2 I was propably getting to the end my relationship point, I don't feel that way now.
I would quite like another, but I don't have that deep-seated need that I had when I wanted dc2.

Hulababy · 15/10/2007 14:20

I know I am not done with it, or at least not resigned to the fact yet. I have no idea if and/or when I may be able to have a second child (dd is 5yo and having surgery currently which may or may not help with fertility), but at present I don't want to thing about not being able to.

Cadmum · 15/10/2007 14:30

I never should have read this thread!

Go on Hunker! 3 is fabulous and 4 is even better!

Judy1234 · 15/10/2007 15:28

5 is better still although it was pretty nice to get 4 and 5 at the same time.

minesalargeone · 15/10/2007 16:41

4 or 5 kids????? So why can I only just about cope with two???

happyathome · 15/10/2007 20:19

thanks mines for sharing your story and being so honest.I didn't know whether bleeding could happen again and it obviously can from your story-didn't think a second pregnancy could be so rough and it just shows that although proffessionals are ADAMENT that most women can breastfeed,it doesn't take into account the poor mum's feelings and experience of pain(breast or other pain-the unsuccessful latching just got to me and i couldn't take anymore manhandling,just wanted my body left alone!).

finding this thread so interesting,thanks.
hope we get some more joining in eh?!

DaphneHarvey · 15/10/2007 20:30

Haven't read all posts so may be repeating but: I had my 2nd child 2 weeks before my 41st birthday. I knew I was stopping there because although I didn't mind being an older mum (obviously) I didn't want to be a really really older mum, iyswim.

So the choice was taken away from me really. But somehow, all through my life I knew I would have 2 children. I left it very late and I had a girl then a boy. That seemed pretty perfect to me and now I don't wish I'd had more children at all.

So, yes, I just knew I was done. I think there is an inner voice deep inside you that you just need to tune into. If you are in any doubt, then you probably want to have another baby!

happyathome · 15/10/2007 20:37

just what i wanted to hear.thanks daphne.....think it's that inner voice i hear now every day and there's plenty of i don't want one,mixed with i do want one,so
like you say if i'm not totally againest it,there is hope for more

DaphneHarvey · 15/10/2007 22:01

I would sniff newborns all day long, btw Hunker, I really would. And look at the back of their heads with their downy hair and little ears sticking out ...

Its just that experience tells me that newborns = 70% feeding, 20% sleeping, 5% changing/bathing, 3% lying contentedly not screaming, 2% mum gets a chance to do sniffing. If it was 70% sniffing, then perhaps we'd all have 10 babies each. Maybe the 70% feeding thing is mother nature's natural contraceptive!

DaphneHarvey · 15/10/2007 22:02

Yep, Happyathome, don't reckon you're done yet ...

EmsMum · 15/10/2007 22:06

You know you're 'done' when you're in the schoolyard and one mum has brought in a new baby and another is cradling a puppy and you're in the contingent which coos over the pup not the babe.

Frizombie · 15/10/2007 22:13

Dh had the snip, so I'm guessing that's me done!

minesalargeone · 15/10/2007 22:20

So why do I have old grannies and most of the school playground cooing over my puppy both before and after school?

NormanBatesFletcher · 15/10/2007 22:26

Not read all of the other posts:-

For me it was falling pregnant despite having a mirena coil, and though the birth was the best (and by far the easiest) of all three, the pregnancy was awful

I am now old and worn and just felt shit the whole time (well - OK - the last 10 weeks, but that felt like the whole time as I only found out I was pg at 18 weeks, see comment about mirena above) I am 37, was 36 then.

I was ill and had strange pains that had me hospitalised and scanned for liver things.

DH and I decided that we would kill each other if we went through it again

He has had the snip

happyathome · 23/10/2007 19:37

hope your'e all ok.just letting you know my TTC attempt was unsuccesful.not after sympathy,just wanted to keep you posted.I'm alright about it,but think my 'heart' must be a bit sad because i've been in a bit of an unexplained mood all day.oh well!,i will probably try again,meaning i musn't be done, if i'm willing to go through the two week wait anguish again and again!
thanks for the support
more additions to this thread would be still great to read,if you have anymore...

BigBlueHat · 23/10/2007 21:31

I don't feel I'm done at all but my husband is fairly insistent that we're not having anymore.

Do all you people with lots of children have equally broody husdands? Or are you very persuasive?

Its an awful feeling - wanting another and not being able to have one. Am considering doing something very deceitful but can't quite bring myself to do it.

TheStepfordChav · 23/10/2007 21:37

lol Emsmum - same experience! I 'knew' when I was more interested in the puppy than the baby! It was a relief.

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