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Parenting

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Original poster

How do you know you're "done" with having children?

95 replies

hunkermunker · 12/10/2007 20:16

Not sure I am. Sometimes I am, sometimes I'd have two more. Or three more.

If you're "through" with all that, how do you know? Do you ever get broody and want a newborn to sniff again? [mad as frogs]

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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olala · 13/10/2007 21:59

is it possible that maybe unless you feel you are totally done, that you shouldn't do anything too drastic?

Mostly I feel like we;re done, we have 3 dcs. But every so often I get the most overwhelming pang of ' i MUST have another baby'

DH is not keen but not ruled it out.

So we're in limbo, youngest is 2 and I don't want much bigger gap than that. SO I think if we don't go for it soon, i'm going to get DH 'done' and that'll be that!

olala · 13/10/2007 22:01

is it possible that maybe unless you feel you are totally done, that you shouldn't do anything too drastic?

Mostly I feel like we;re done, we have 3 dcs. But every so often I get the most overwhelming pang of ' i MUST have another baby'

DH is not keen but not ruled it out.

So we're in limbo, youngest is 2 and I don't want much bigger gap than that. SO I think if we don't go for it soon, i'm going to get DH 'done' and that'll be that!

Aero · 13/10/2007 22:02

Well after dd was born (we already had ds1), I didn't want another for a long time as two was hard enough work, but somehow as she got through toddlerhood, the time felt right to have one more. I always thought it'd be two or four for us, but ds2 has completed our family and I don't feel like I ever want to do the baby thing again and that coping with three is enough for us. I like the idea of four, but hate the thought of doing it all again iyswim. I was undecided for a long time on this, but the thought of having a baby in the house again is more than I can bear to think about and knowing that if I found out I was pregnant right now, I think it would feel like the end of the world. It never felt like that before I had ds2. I also have found it easy to part with all the baby things knowing I won't be needing them again, whereas before I kept everything because we thought we might need them again.

So with nothing but relief in mind, dh is booked in for the snip and has his counselling appointment next week. Both of us feel the same about this. Despite three being an odd number and occasionally this can cause a few hiccups, we're happy to live with the hiccups and not have the stresses of actually having another child to cope with for the sake of evening things up a bit.

Basically, it just feels right and we feel content with what we've got and neither of us have any desire to do it all again. Does that make sense at all?

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Phraedd · 14/10/2007 12:53

my 3rd (and last) pregnancy was really tough. I had SPD and it was agony to move which meant that I didn't enjoy the end of my prgnancy at all and i couldn't play with my older 2.

I had always wanted 4 chiuldren but that pregnancy really put me off!

My children are now (almost) 9, 7 and 3.5 and i still get very broody but I couldn't cope with being pregnant and having SPD again.

I just have to be content with looking after other peoples babies

miobombino · 14/10/2007 13:56

Enjoying a cuddle with somebody else's baby but also enjoying handing it back.

- A complete sense of dread when my period's a day late. - Enjoying my youngest reaching milestones and having no pangs of regret that he's now walking/talking/going to nursery etc. - Looking forward to the future with the family i have, not wondering if/when there will be another joining us. - No longer lingering in the pram section of John Lewis to check out what's new. - Happily selling/giving away baby stuff and completely forgetting about it afterwards.

MyTwopenceworth · 14/10/2007 13:57

When your husband has the snip.

ChipButty · 14/10/2007 13:59

Having our second child at 29 weeks was enough to make us decide to stop at two. Thank God she survived and is beautiful but we couldn't go through that again.

chipmonkeyPumpkinNorks · 14/10/2007 14:22

When your dh says absolutely no more after this one, haven't you put me through enough, woman!

mamazon · 14/10/2007 14:37

when i can give my friends beautifull newborn as many cuddles as i like and not feel even slightly broody

minesalargeone · 14/10/2007 14:39

When the bank balance won't allow it, when I'm fed up with not seeing my feet anymore, when I'm fed up with getting up in the night for a wet bed, bad dream, fall out of bed or simply 'I can't get to sleep', when I'm fed up with dealing with school runs, after school clubs, nits, colds, vomit, diarrhoea, having to buy new shoes, uniform, pencil cases, school bags, having to bring home paintings that look like something out of a horror movie, when they argue or bicker and when my dh and I are just too damn exhausted to even think about making another one, iykwim!

SpookyDooooo · 14/10/2007 18:25

Well we have 2 & i thought that was it, was having all the feelings explained on here but just lately am feeling a little broody, am hopeing it is just a faze & i will get through it.

I will howver only if i ever have another, be when dd has started school & she is only 22 months now.

My other dilemma is i only want a boy & as that is not possible & a 50/50 chance it may be a good idea to stop.

Hmm who knows hopefully the feelins will go away by the time dd starts school, so i can have a career & we may actually have some money in our bank & not struggle.

LindzDelirium · 14/10/2007 18:35

We knew we'd be done with one when I was pregnant, and we feel the same now (DD is 5). I sometimes feel the odd pang of "what if?" but DD is so anti-siblings and for me and DH the feeling of not wanting another one is far stronger than the feeling of wanting another one, so for us, we're complete. A happy family of 3.

hattiejacques · 14/10/2007 18:40

I know I shouldn't consider it at my ripe old age.(I'll be 42 in December) but I think about it all the time. I've already got 2 ds's but would love love love a girl or failing that a boy. It makes me want to cry when I think about not having anymore. It's complex because it tied up with getting older and moving on with life. I find it impossible to watch my kids as babies on the camcorder without blahing. My dh would probably try for another but worries about abnormalities and we'd struggle more financially but I don't care! However something is stopping me from ttc

minesalargeone · 14/10/2007 18:41

oh and forgot to mention that I'm heading towards the big 40 mark and do I want to be dealing with nappies beyond 40? Err no actually - I'm quite glad to have done my bit for the population in this country and don't intend on doing it all over again. I've got two lovely daughters which is pretty amazing for me considering I was told I couldn't have any children shortly before I became pregnant the first time.....

newgirl · 14/10/2007 18:41

when you think 'i will be a fab grandma'

minesalargeone · 14/10/2007 18:42

...I've told my eldest dd that I want to be a grandma by the time I'm 49....she's only 9 at the moment!!

twinsetandpearls · 14/10/2007 18:43

I think for me it was juts blindingly obvious, whenever the subject of babies come up I see a life sentence stretching before me and babies leave me cold, I could not give one positive to having a child and TBH I don;t do that great with the on I have so another would be foolish and selfish.

LucyJones · 14/10/2007 18:57

When you no longer click on threads that are in the Breast and Bottle feeding/Weaning/Pregnancy/Sleep sections because when you see the tiel you just heave a sigh of relief that it isn't you!!

compo · 14/10/2007 18:58

when you start googling 'sterilisation' because dh refuses to have a vasectomy

minesalargeone · 14/10/2007 19:04

when bed means sleep........

spookykitty · 14/10/2007 19:07

oh go on hunker you know you want to

Judy1234 · 14/10/2007 19:07

I would be open to another but I'm 45 and not married. I wasn't happy with just three and the twins (nos 4 and 5) made me content. 5 is great.

dooley1 · 14/10/2007 19:09

because you are glad you do not have to post this:
' admire people who had the wit and forsight to have 1 or evn limit themselves to 2 babies.
3 is just mad. how am i ever to get a moments peace with three? or do anything spur ofthe moment? '
sorry nappiesgalore!

Original poster

hunkermunker · 14/10/2007 19:10

LOL SK! I kinda do, you know. Just not yet! Want to try a bigger age gap this time, just to ring the changes!

OP posts:

scorpio1 · 14/10/2007 19:11

I think i am one of those women who will truly never be done, and will have to not have anymore because of money space and time.

Am pg with db3 at the moment, and far this may be the last time

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