Does anyone want another baby but can't because no room for it?

[iwouldgoouttonight]

We'd always thought we'd like to have two children (obviously if we were lucky enough to conceive). We now have one DS (14 months) and were thinking of trying for another next year. We don't have a lot of room in our house so we have applied for planning permission for an extension to get an extra bedroom (for the potential new baby). We've just had a letter to say its been turned down because the extra bedroom would be too close to the house next door. So now what do we do? We only moved into this house because it was cheap and we thought it had the potential to extend, we've been here a year and made it our own and we really don't want to move again (and probably couldn't afford a house with more bedrooms anyway). But we can't fit two babies into DS's room (its a tiny box room) and if DS and new baby moved into our bedroom we wouldn't fit our double bed into the box room either. I know the baby would sleep with us to begin with so we wouldn't have the problem for at least a year or so but then what do we do?? I don't think we could afford to move in the next year, and we wouldn't really want to wait too much longer before trying for another baby because I'm no spring chicken! Do I just have to accept we can only afford one child?

How big is your box room, I have 2'6" and a travel cot in mine to accommodate our brood. I also know someone with twin boys and there room was only big enough for 2 x 2'6" beds with a tiny gap down the middle and they had to rehang the door to open outwards to achieve that.

Any chance of putting a "storage room" (aka unofficial bedroom) in your loft space?

Can you re-draft your extensions plans?

We could probably fit a travel cot in there but would be a big squeeze. We originally considered using the loft space but the man would draw up our plans for the extra bedroom said because of the style of our house there isn't anywhere to put stairs so you'd have to access it through the loft hatch with ladder (don't fancy doing that while holding child!) How do yours get on with sharing a small space?

Bunkbeds?

Sorry hit enter accidentally - bunkbeds should fit in a box room, could be a permanent solution if you have another ds and a solution for up to 10 years or so if a dd...

We're going to ask the man who drew the plans if he can think of anywhere else the extra room could go, but we can't think of anywhere it will fit other than going through another room to get to it. I suppose that's better than nothing (not sure if that will be approved though if it doesn't have its own access from the corridor?).

Oh i don't know - just feeling down on myself because we had all these nice plans about two children, having a bit of space for them, etc and I'm trying to get my head around we'd cope as a family of four in such a small space - it gets cluttered enough as it is!

ikea do small bunk beds i think...but in reality where would you store their clothes/toys/stuff etc?

I would call the council and ask them for guidsnce on 'how much too close' your plans were and what they are more likely to accept.

Children all accept sharing - they don't know any different. Have you spoken to a loft specialist? Any way of putting the staircase in the large bedroom so you end up with 2 single rooms downstairs and a double in the loft. Also if you have it done as a storage room in the loft there are very different regulations to having a bedroom up there.

Also a standard cot is much smaller than a travel cot anyway - you can also get corner cots. Is there anyway of making the box room bigger/better by utilising space over the stairs/going into the room next to it - very hard to look at without knowing the layout.

Or downstairs extension and you sleep down there?

i have 2 DCs in a very small bedroom and have DC3 on the way(unplanned). we cannot move (too expensive) or extend(we rent) so are reshuffling our room and sectioning a bit off that will be the babies iyswim?

Apparently if building next to a house who's windows look out onto your building it has to be at least 15 metres apart - ours is only 12 metres at the minute and with an extension would be about 9 metres.

the solution to clutter is to be ruthless get rid of what you don't use! We have 4 children in a small 3 bed mid terrace - we have lots of stuff stored in our loft though which is boarded out and stuff in sheds in the garden and a small playhouse for them.

How old is your ds? Maybe he would enjoy climbing a ladder to an attic bedroom when he is a little older...

Would the same rules apply if you were to get a small conservatory? It wouldnt help you with a bedroom, but it would be additional living space, and possibly cost less than an extension.

I agree you could have bunk beds when baby no longer sleeps in with you.

It might be a tight squeeze to start with, but you will survive, people have survived with children in smaller spaces than yours, so dont let this put you off. The benefits of having a second child far outweights the drawbacks of being a little cramped.

When I was younger a friend had a conservatory built on the back of their house, but used it as a bedroom.

TBH I also think that young children play downstairs they only need to sleep and get dressed in their bedroom so you can get a conservatory to use a play room and just cope with a small bedroom

Also, this wouldn't be forever, which is what you need to remember, right now you may not be able to move, but if you know this is something you're aiming towards it would probably be more achievable in a couple of years after you had saved up some money.

FWIW, I lived in a one bedroom flat with two children at one time. We had one of those high sleepers that has a desk underneath, took the desk out and put the cot there instead, when we moved to a 2bed house we had a tiny second bedroom, just enough for bunkbeds, and they had toys under their bed in boxes and clothes on a rail on the ceiling.

Now they have their own rooms, but I am pregnant again, and once this one is older DD will be getting the box room, with a high sleeper with built in wardrobe etc, and the younger two will share her room.

The only time DD has ever complained about sharing was when DS was poorly, and he woke her up crying, so he came in with me then til he was better.

Thanks for all your replies - you're all right - I know we'd cope, there's always room somewhere to put a cot, etc. I know we're lucky that we could even consider an extension in the first place so I hope I don't sound ungrateful. I think I'm just really disappointed at the minute because we've just got the letter, and I had all these stupid ideas in my head about how lovely it would be to have extra space, etc (esp because all my friends seem to have massive houses with extra rooms for offices and playrooms and all sorts!). I think I need to think long term - we'd be cramped for a few years but then maybe we could eventually move somewhere bigger if we save up.

Exactly, and anyone would be pissed off, put the extension money away somewhere and get making that baby

PIL compromised ontheir extension and had frosted glass put in on the side that overlooked neighbours