Weaning nightmare, sat here in tears

[crystalsue]

7 and a half month DD has not been great with weaning. She is a bit of a spoon rejector, and although she will suck on finger food she never actually eats it. But the real problem is the screaming fits. After a minute or two in the high chair she just goes mad and gets really angry. As soon as she is back out of the chair and on the play mat she is absolutely fine. Really struggling to see how I will ever get her to eat - I thought babies were meant to enjoy this? What am I doing wrong?

Didn't want to read and run. I'm a decade past weaning but I may recall something. Hopefully a more recent weaner will be along shortly.

Is she eating anything, is her poop like proper poop (sorry!).
Does she have any favourites?
Could this be a teething pain thing?
Has she got a variety of finger food to taste?
Can she see her playmat when eating, is she more pro-toy not anti-food?

I worried terribly when my eldest was weaning. I even ran around to my neighbour in a panic once as he wouldn't eat once . He just took a while to get there.

Just let her eat finger good when she is on her playmat?
I sometimes put the tv on when my DS was small to distract him while he ate. You do what you gotta do . I know a lot of people will think that's really bad but he is a great sized teenager now and eats loads. Breakfast and dinner at the dining table now

*FOOD not good!

Finger food on the play mat. Just let her decide when and how much.

'Food before one is just for fun.' The only thing you can do wrong at this age is to make food and eating into a big issue. At this age your baby is getting nearly all their nutrients from milk, and food is an interesting, enjoyable, fun new experience. You must make it so (in my best Picard voice!)

You’re putting too much pressure on her and yourself. She will pick up on that. Take the pressure off. From what I can remember her main source of nutrition should still be her milk. This time is about exploring and enjoying the new experience rather than calories consumed.

Aww OP! Saw this in active threads and couldn’t not read it.

I’m a few years beyond weaning now and mine weren’t great. One was much worse than the other.

Just let her have finger foods to play with and see how you go. No pressure at her age.

There aren’t many children who don’t eat so they must all manage it at some point. Poor you

Just let her play with finger foods then. Or perhaps sit her on your lap while you eat (or just have her plate in front of you).

Also, is she hungry? It's actually best if they aren't properly hungry when they eat, so if she's had a milk feed 1-2 hours before. This may mean 'lunch' is not at lunchtime. And stick to one to two meals a day at most if she isn't really eating loads. She'll get there, but you have to manage expectations. Neither of mine really ate much before 9 months and then they suddenly ate massive amounts.

Thank you all so much, I feel a lot better reading your comments. I am definitely getting stressed out with it all and I'm sure she is picking up on it, creating a cycle. A more relaxed approach sounds sensible.

Is she eating anything, is her poop like proper poop (sorry!)
I think she is eating something occasionally, as from time to time there is the odd identifiable piece of carrot or broccoli in there!

Does she have any favourites?
Not really, she doesn't seem to dislike any particular food but just gets in a general worked up state. When she first tastes things she usually seems happy enough, so it's odd really

Could this be a teething pain thing?
Possibly!

Has she got a variety of finger food to taste?
If I'm honest, I get very anxious about finger foods and choking
So I offer more spoon food. She usually grabs the spoon off me and smears it everywhere though...
I want to offer more finger food, I need to get a bit braver.

Can she see her playmat when eating, is she more pro-toy not anti-food?
No she is in a different room, but she gets very distracted (eg she spends a lot more time chewing her bib than showing any interest in the actual food!

Offering finger food on the play mat could be a plan, but again I am so worried about choking and the mess
What would be the best things to give her in a more casual environment?

There truly is no rush! Remember the mantra 'food is fun, until one'.

Try her little and often in the high chair with finger foods - bit of toast, avocado, banana, carrot, sweet potato chips are a good one. Just seen what leftovers you have in the fridge and plonk it in front of her and see what she makes of it! DS2 had fish pie as his first meal! Messy (tip - put a shower curtain under her high chair!) but he loved it. Just try and make it easily hold-able and pop it in front of her.

And if she still hates it, give her a week or two off, and start again later.

Also, is she hungry? It's actually best if they aren't properly hungry when they eat, so if she's had a milk feed 1-2 hours before.

I tend to do this:

7am milk
9am breakfast
11am milk
1pm lunch
3pm milk
5pm dinner
7pm milk

Does that sound ok?

Shes only 7.5 months

Let her have her own spoon to wave round, dip in her food etc while you try and feed her with another one.

If you are worried about choking, go on a first aid course (or see if you can find a video on line as courses probably not happening at the moment). You will know what to do if there is a problem. But babies do cough and splutter a lot whilst weaning - they aren't always choking.

My DD the same, in the beginning she would be quiet as long as she had something in her hand. Now she needs to feed herself with her hands always, it's messy and annoying but she's delighted with herself and it's temporary. Porridge with her hands was fun to clean up, it's basically cement

Ah OP I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed about it bits hard and you feel pressure to 'get them eating well'. But honestly... She is only 7.5m so really tiny and loads of time to get used to food. Milk should be her main source of nutrition. My son took to eating well so I feel lucky.

I think it's important to make trying food fun and try not to project your anxiety and stress onto her.

We did finger foods with a bit of pureed food and it is scary when you first start but I do think it is good for getting them to eat. If you are worried about choking etc get yourself into an online baby first aid course and maybe get a babyled weaning book.

You could start with soft foods like slices of avocado, the Ella's kitchen melty puffs, cooked carrot and some booked egg sliced into fingers.

Don't worry if she doesn't eat much yet she will.witg time but try not to stress. If also scale back how often you're offering food. Three times a day meals is a lot at that age. Go back to one a then gradually increase every few weeks. Also you could call your health visitor for advice

Turn high chair time into fun time.

Lose the spoon for a bit. Let her sit in there and play with some toys.
Give her a yoghurt / mash potato /pasta sauce and let her play with it.

Have food for her to play with and food for her to eat. So put some finger food on the tray of her high chair, give her some soft food to smoosh about and give her a million spoons. Then spoon feed her some food.

Accept it will get very messy, accept she will gag on food and enjoy it!

There’s a lot to be said for introducing family meal time at the start. Just pop her in the high chair when you’re eating and let her play with food while you eat. It takes the pressure off you both and she will copy what you do.

The earlier you introduce lumps the less likely she is to choke imo. If she gets used to purée food and then you introduce texture it can confuse her. Before blenders people just mashed the food with a fork.

Mine is 10 months and the floor sees more food than his tummy does but he loves trying. He will now accept my help with a spoon but he still much prefers to do-it-himself. Will she eat from your plate? I found mine was more interested in my food than his own.

Ah don't stress! My first didn't eat properly until he was 18 months. We were so stressed about it and in retrospect he just want ready. Don't force it. Also, read "my child won't eat"... good book.

Do a first aid course so you'll know the difference between gagging (normal) and choking and what to do if she does choke. If you really want her to get used to swallowing food, Ella's Kitchen melty sticks melt in their mouths after a while so it'd be pretty impossible to choke on them. Also, have you tried just giving her pouches of spoon food? Mine loved to suck on the pouches at that age. You can buy refillable pouches online if you want to make your own stuff.

Generally it’s advised to offer food 30 to 60 mins after milk.

Definitely feed her on the play mat or sit her on your knee and let her eat from your plate. If using the high chair left her have her own spoons and it’s fine for her to just explore the food and make a mess. Watch YouTube video of the difference between gagging and choking and what to do if babies choke. Gagging is common because baby’s have a much more pronounced gag reflex to stop them from choking.