Do you make your child finish their meal?

[Rossaloony]

I've seen a lot of info lately about how to approach your kids eating in a way that doesn't give them issues around food later in life, e.g not bribing them to eat their vegetables with deserts, letting them make their own choices and being autonomous about how much and what they eat.

I personally was made to finish my meal, and my mum is still very hard on me now if I don't eat everything. She grew up when rations were still around and definitely had a poverty mentality to food.

I don't want to pass this on to the kids, but at the same time it goes against all of my instinct to tell them that they don't have to eat their greens etc. And still giving dessert if they don't.

What do you do at meal times and how do you approach your kids not eating their veggies etc? Do you 'bribe' your kids with pudding?

DD rarely finishes but I make sure I give her appropriate portion sizes so she gets close to finishing. I'm not really sure how you'd go about forcing a child to finish their meal if they don't want to? god knows my DD is so stubborn that short of a feeding tube if she doesn't want it she won't eat it

If I don't think she's eaten enough vegetables we generally enter a period of negotiation where we'll agree on what she needs to eat to be able to leave the table 🤣 - is she wants snacks before bed because she's still hungry then she's only allowed fruit

3DC. I am relaxed about how much they eat, they are never forced to empty their plate, but I also try not to compromise what we cook to fit round them either (having said that we make far fewer vegetarian meals than we use to). So e.g. tonight we're eating a chorizo stew that 1/3 of my DC loves but 2/3 aren't that fussed about. We do allow them to make sandwiches if they don't like the food we serve at mealtimes but we only have healthy snack food in the house, no biscuits or cakes or sweeties as standard (homemade for special occasions only).

DD is only little but no, I will never do this. My appetite can vary, so I wouldn’t presume to know that she will be hungry enough for what I serve.
If she’s left all the veg and wants dessert that’s different, but if she’s saying she’s full, I won’t force anything down her.

Absolutely not,

DS is 2.

He gets offered dinner, but when he says no/done it gets taken away and that's it.

He then, no matter what, has a snack mid morning and mid afternoon so if he doesn't eat anything at meal time there isn't a really long wait.

Meal times are stress free in our house and I plan to keep it that way

What I completely forgot to say is that as they get older they get less fussy so I think the important thing is not to worry about what they are eating but to model good habits. My 11yo is finally expanding what she eats and Based on DH I assume my spectacularly fussy 8yo will eventually (the eldest who is now a teenager was never very fussy).

Absolutely not. Teaching someone to eat beyond their hunger is not a good thing

Never.
As long as they had some veg, bit of carb and protein then it was always up to them as to how much they had.

Mine have regular snacks - morning break and after school during the week, and similar timings on the weekend. I personally don't feel it's damaging to wait 2 hours because they didn't eat a meal, which always has things in it they like.

If it was happening at every meal, that would be cause for concern, but they won't starve with an occasional missed lunch.

I also make sure that there's always a 'safe' food as part of the meal - something that I know DS likes and will happily eat.

I can also really recommend Kids Eat in Colour on Instagram. Mine have never been terribly fussy but I really like her approach. She's a trained dietician with fussy kids. She recommends a meal and snack schedule, and a division of responsibility. She lots of great resources

No, I never insist on it. He’s 2.5 and tbh I don’t know how I could force him if I tried! We don’t usually do dessert either, but if he’s eaten all his dinner and says he’s still hungry then I give him fruit or yoghurt. He has an afternoon snack after his nap and still has milk before bed so there’s never too long between meals. We try to eat together as a family as much as possible and I find he eats much better when he sees DH and I eating. We’re so lucky as he’s not fussy at all and enjoys everything from olives to fish to blue cheese!

No never, I don’t offer pudding after unless we’re eating out or I’ve got something in specially, maybe for Sunday lunch if family are around. But as long as they have tried everything then I’m happy for them to leave some food.

No I think it's abusive. Imagine being given a plate of food and being full half way through and then being made to eat the rest.

Its abuse.
Also a good way to get kids into bad habits because the plate doesn't always have to be empty as that can lead to obesity.

In my eyes as long as they are full and know that they can't cook anything after dinner then that's okay ( will always have fruit for them to snack on if needed)

No because they didn't always have massive appetites. (They do now they are grown into teens!)

I didn't offer alternatives though. I did encourage trying a tiny bit of something new (or the green veg!)

If hungry later they could have bread and butter. Or try the dinner plate again. It depended. My aim was for neither side to get emotional about dinner time.

I was taught Never to finish everything on a plate and always leave some for Mr. Manners. My daughter was told the same thing.

No. DS is 2.5, a bit of a fussy eater, much better now but still won’t eat things like salad or many veg, but loves fruit. I put cucumber sticks / tomatoes / veg out most days thinking one day he’ll just eat it. He eats what he likes, sometimes it’s everything sometimes it’s hardly anything but before I take his plate I’ll ask him if he’s finished and he’ll tell me yes or no. He always has ‘pudding’ but most of the puds are fruit or yoghurt, little cakes or ice or rice pudding a couple of times a week for variation

Ice cream not ice !

We had a three spoon rule - 3 spoons of everything on the plate. Didn't matter if they ate all of it or only the 3 spoons.

Mine has to try a little bit of everything but if they've had enough that's up to them. And I still give them pudding because what is life without pudding?

I will say though that if they haven't eaten much of their main meal then pudding will be fruit with natural Yoghurt or something similar, not a full on sugary dessert.

Nope, I’ve encouraged DD to listen to hunger cues. She eats until she’s she’s had sufficient, but I’ve never forced her to finish a meal.
We don’t routinely eat pudding, but if she’s still hungry, she’ll have something else,

No. But also we don't have dessert/pudding. If they haven't finished their plate but complain they want more then we allow them fruit.

@percheron67

I was taught Never to finish everything on a plate and always leave some for Mr. Manners. My daughter was told the same thing.

What if she gets to ‘Mr Manners’s’ portion and she’s still hungry?

I wonder if boys were taught this too

We do struggle with DD’s eating sometimes. She’s 3, and always been a bit fussy. She will not eat:

• meat at all, in any form, including nuggets etc
• fish, including fish fingers or tuna
• pasta (although she used to)
• rice
• eggs, in any shape or form
• pies or quiches
• any vegetables
• any form sandwich, although she’ll eat buttered bread

She will eat on toast, fruit (thank god she likes fruit), yoghurt, pancakes, and cereal/porridge. She will sometimes eat pizza or beans, or Yorkshire puddings and gravy (but no veg or meat). She quite likes bread, and will drink milk. Myself, DH and DS all eat a wide range of stuff and mealtimes are relaxed but sometimes I feel sad that she won’t even try stuff - we’ll be having an amazing pasta dish or fish and chips, and she’ll ask for Weetabix. If she doesn’t eat, she gets ‘hangry’ and her behaviour is foul, so after encouraging her to try what we’re having we give in and give her cereal or whatever. Her BMI is bang on normal and she’s perfectly healthy but I really wish she’d try a few more things.

Our Son (just 3) can be a bit of a pain around tea time, so we do encourage to him eat, but never bribe and he doesn't have to clear his plate. We don't always do desert anyway.

He doesn't have to clear his plate, he does have to stay sat at the table until we have finished our tea though (unless he clears his plate first then he can leave the table first)