Formula sucess stories please. I need to hear them ...

[Cherryhill22]

So my baby is 13 days old and breast feeding has been a battle from the start. He won't stay latched on for long, looked into tongue tie, nipple shields and electric pumping 8 times a day. I am utterly fed up and feel like I am falling off an emotional cliff. I have seen a lactation expert who says I have a low supply. I have to top up with formula. I don't know how much more of this I can take. He latches on, falls off, cries, I cry and a wave of depression kicks in that lasts a full day. I feel like this is making me hate parenthood and I am wondering if it would be best to sack the whole thing in and just go to formula. I feel like such a guilty, lazy mother for wanting this. Does anyone else have any positive formula feeding success stories for me? I need to hear them. Thanks.

Well, I am a success story. My brothers and I were all formula fed, we grew up as happy well-adjusted healthy people.

I know that bf is the goal for many of us, but if it isn't working, and he is hungry, please don't feel guilty.

Formula isn't poison.

Far better to have a relaxed, happy, comfortable mum than to persevere with something which is making you miserable and depressed.

My ds had bad reflux, failure to thrive. I was told to top up with formula and ended up moving him completely to reflux formula. I felt really guilty for a while, but then I realised he was gaining weight, he was happy and completely healthy. He is nearly 3 and ridiculously smart, funny and hardly ever I'll. His older brother was ebf, has severe autism and catches every bug going.

I could have written this post a year ago! My DS is now 13 months old, and breast feeding was such a challenge. I struggled hugely with latch and supply and had to top up with formula. Around 3 weeks I decided to just accept that I would mainly formula feed and then breastfeed around that as and when I could, and then switched fully to formula at 8weeks as he just wasn't interested in the breast by then. I can honestly say it was the best decision. I sunk into pretty bad PND whilst trying and failing to breastfeed, and finally accepting that fed is best helped me come out of the fog. Obviously it's up to you and you may be able to get help to succeed at breastfeeding, but from my perspective I am so glad I stopped.

Yes - I completely failed to feed my child. The guilt completely destroyed me - once I got over it, it greatly improved my mental state and my child absolutely thrived. Not quite 11 months and watching them trying to climb the sofa. I don’t care what people spout, breast is not always best.

DS has reflux although we didn't know it at the time. Just over a week in and we had been back to the hospital for a feeding plan. I was pumping noon and night because he was much happier bottle fed and I was miserable. I moved on to formula and it was so much better. DS was fed and content and I could actually enjoy him rather than spending all bloody day pumping and sterilising. A few weeks later when he was diagnosed with reflux it was easily managed with gaviscon in his bottle. Although this can't be attributed to formula he's slept well from 7 weeks, he's happy, going to nursery at 8 months wasn't any harder because of being breastfed. He's 9 months old now and absolutely brilliant. Formula will not harm your baby, you have to do what's right for your family, you included!

It's just food. If you'll be a more relaxed, happier mum, and he'll be a full, thriving baby, then it's nothing to beat yourself up over. I appreciate breast has some benefits over bottle, but do those really outweigh the negatives that you are experiencing? I really, really hate the way society makes non breast feeders feel like a failure at the minute.

Success stories: I have a 16 year old and a 1 year old, neither have any issues. My 1 year old was bf for 1 week, had a few issues but also HATED being the only one responsible for feeding, on top of all of the body issues being pregnant brought. The negatives outweighed the positives for me, so I stopped. No harm done, everyone is healthy and thriving.

You are not a failure to bottle feed. Christ, you and your child are not happy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with bottle feeding.

Oh @Cherryhill22, I really feel for you. I BF for 3 weeks with my first, and made it to 5 days with my second. With both of them I got to the point that I resented them when they woke, as it meant I had to feed them yet again. With DC1 I was pumping after every feed and by DC2 I had a toddler to keep up with all day too.

I switched to formula and immediately felt like a weight had been lifted. I started enjoying my baby. I could be a better mum for them.

You have given him a great start by BFing for this long. Your physical and mental health is important too. Don't beat yourself up too much if it's not working for you. Your baby will thrive on formula and you are in no way lazy and shouldn't feel guilty about feeding your baby in a way that makes life happier for you both.

I formula fed after horrible stressful time and it was so worth it. Don’t worry about all the breastfeeding propaganda- sibling studies show it makes no difference, it’s a correlation not a causal effect. Formula is fine, go for it and don’t beat yourself up anymore.

I had similar issues and despite seeking help was told realistically it wasn’t going to work due to a combination of me & baby.

Now 18mths old, full of beans and once I realised and accepted that breast wasn’t going to work we have all thrived. Tommy Tippee machine makes is very easy, my husband puts her to bed with her bottle of milk and she is absolutely thriving.

You need to let go of the guilt and realise that fed is best.

I found breast feeding very hard too and as we were at the height of lockdown I couldn’t get any hands on help. After about 6 weeks I switched exclusively to formula (never really properly latched but was pumping as well) and a weight completely lifted off my shoulders. I could just concentrate on bottle feeding well rather than try to do three different things.

I do occasionally get some twangs of guilt that I should have persevered but that is getting less and less often and I know I made the right decision for me and my baby. I have a thriving, healthy nearly 5 month old and I am happy and much less stressed about feeding.

Your bf issues sound very similar to mine. I'm a low supplier as well and my little one will only latch when we're lying down- not possible to do all day with a toddler. I was expressing 8 times a day, brestfeeding in-between and making up and sterilising bottles and it just felt too much, I wasn't getting anytime to actually enjoy my baby.

Now, I breast feed when she wakes at night which I love because it means I don't have to get out of bed. I express 3 or 4 times a day, not to a schedule just when I can so she has around 10 oz of breastmilk a day and I formula feed the rest. For me its a perfect balance of giving her a bit of my milk and keeping my sanity. I read that they only really need a few oz of bm a day to get your antibodies anyway.

Of course if you want to switch compeltly to formula thats absolutely fine. My son was fed anti refulx milk from 4 weeks and it was absolutely the best decision I could have made for him.

I'm 46 in great health!
My mum bottle fed me and my brother, then bf my sister- she's the one with the allergies.
What is most important is that your baby is fed. Do not feel guilty- mumguilt is never ending, and you'll make yourself unhappy and unwell.
Snuggle your baby, feed whatever way he'll accept, and enjoy watching him grow

I breastfed my first to 19 months. Second to 9 months. I then just wanted to stop being her soother when she was teething and introduced formula for her day feeds. I still breastfeed her at night. Formula isn't poison. If breastfeeding isn't working for you, thankfully you have a safe and easy alternative, take it! No one cares whether your baby was bottle or breast fed and if you need to, make the swap. I doubt you will look back. There are pros and cons to each but I find formula feeding so quick and convenient. No fussy child pulling off every 5 seconds to look around!

lockdownmummy please don't feel guilty- your baby is thriving, and that is all that matters.

I was in a very similar situation - topping up with formula and expressing all the time to increase supply. It was crap. Persevered with breastfeeding but he had 1-2 bottles of formula a day whilst I pumped minute amounts, then went onto formula full time at just before six months when I went back to work. Now nearly eight months and still thriving.

Oh OP the vast majority of people walking around are formula success stories, I’d say. Numerous friends of mine switched to formula after breastfeeding didn’t work out and their children are beautiful, bright and healthy.

My baby was formula fed from birth. It wasn’t the plan, but things happened during labour that I couldn’t have predicted which made BF impossible.

FF has many advantages from a social point of view and often for the mental health of the mother. It was absolutely the best decision for us and she is a very healthy 14 month old.

I was also FF from birth and never suffered from childhood illnesses or allergies. I’ve been healthy throughout my life. It just never occurred to me to that FF was a ‘bad thing’ - it’s just another way of feeding a baby.

My son ended up in hospital for tube feeding at 11 days old because I had low supply. We did topping up for a week, then he developed reflux and started losing weight again. I switched to mainly formula with just a breastfeed morning and evening because it meant I knew how much he was getting.

Within two days of being on formula he was a different baby. Far less crying, less sleepy (he was jaundiced), just generally happier with the world. He still had reflux, but he was gaining weight and everything was significantly better.

Formula is not poison. You haven't failed. Breastfeeding is hard and sometimes it doesn't work out, or it just isn't the best option. It's ok.

Youngest of three sisters here, aged 65, 59 and 48. All formula fed with dad doing night feeds and mum during the day. I'm pretty sure my mum would consider us 'formula successes'. [Flowers] OP. Give yourself a break.

DS never took to BFing and I switched to totally formula at about 7 weeks. I felt happier, he guzzled it down and has turned into one of the healthiest, cleverest boys out of all the children I know. (I'm not saying that as a stealth boast, honestly, but because BF is often said to lead to healthier and brighter children and I've always thought that that is rubbish. And I have a younger DD who took to BFing so I'm not anti it.)

But the absolute best thing about FF, apart from other people being able to feed the baby, is that when you feed them, the positioning is that you can look straight into those gorgeous baby eyes. I used to love singing and talking to DS and really felt it bonded us hugely.

Do whatever to make sure you are a happy, rested mum.
Don’t stress yourself out and end up exhausted for the sake of breastfeeding. It’s not worth it.

My ds was formula fed. He's 12 now. He's never been a sicky child, isn't one to start school and catch the bugs going round, he's fit and healthy and always has been. I know that breast milk is so good for babies, but honestly, do what is right for you and don't feel guilty. Your child will turn out just fine.

@Laaalaaaa Unless you deprived your child of food entirely, you certainly didn't fail to feed them! You just chose a different way, and there's nothing wrong with that.

OP if you want to persevere with BF then get every bit of support you can. If you want to switch to formula then do. Either is fine - just do what's best for you. I'm currently settled on a happy medium of combination feeding and if anyone wants to comment on how I feed my child they can jog on!