Formula sucess stories please. I need to hear them ...

[Cherryhill22]

So my baby is 13 days old and breast feeding has been a battle from the start. He won't stay latched on for long, looked into tongue tie, nipple shields and electric pumping 8 times a day. I am utterly fed up and feel like I am falling off an emotional cliff. I have seen a lactation expert who says I have a low supply. I have to top up with formula. I don't know how much more of this I can take. He latches on, falls off, cries, I cry and a wave of depression kicks in that lasts a full day. I feel like this is making me hate parenthood and I am wondering if it would be best to sack the whole thing in and just go to formula. I feel like such a guilty, lazy mother for wanting this. Does anyone else have any positive formula feeding success stories for me? I need to hear them. Thanks.

I formula fed from birth (well 6 weeks because he was tube fed in NICU) and DS (17 months) is fine.

I wish parents weren’t made to feel so guilty just for feeding their child in whatever way they wish, breastfeeding or not.

Do whatever is going to be easiest, I've been there, pumping round the clock to try and combat low supply. It doesn't help.

I did top ups with formula which eventually morphed into mixed feeding and that worked well for us. I felt like I was doing a little of feeding so he was getting the benefits of bf but partner could also help. Made it easier to leave him with my partner too as knew he always had formula back up. But dont worry if you just want to go to formula, there really isn't a medal for it and mental health is more important.

I really struggled to BF. Had PND and was a wreck. After a couple of weeks my lovely older and wiser HV/midwife told me that whilst she couldn’t officially say this, that FF is a perfectly valid choice and that millions of babies have grown up healthy on it. She told me to stop making myself so miserable over something I didn’t have to do. 15 years on and I can still feel how grateful I was to her fur saying that. It was exactly what I needed to hear and DD has the immune system of a horse!

Do what you need to do. Don’t let anyone (including yourself) lay guilt on you.

I don't think anyone will tell you any formula feeding failure stories. You're just feeding your baby, it's got to eat. If breast feeding is making life depressing, then it's no longer an option. I doubt there's been any child that has had any adverse affects, or been disadvantaged as they grow older because they were formula fed

Formula isn't poison.

Far better to have a relaxed, happy, comfortable mum than to persevere with something which is making you miserable and depressed.

I agree with this - and would add that it’s far better to have a relaxed, happy, comfortable baby as well!

We struggled with BF -my little boy was tongue tied but even snipping that didn't help. We ended up combi feeing (mostly formula and it was the best decision. Still going with both now at nearly 9 months x

4 year old and 8 year old. Tried BF for couple of weeks with both and encountered similar issues to you so gave up. Felt horribly guilty the first time round and it contributed to PND.

8 years on and the eldest has never had a day of school. Both children are healthy weights, very clever, and can climb up England's highest mountains.

Honestly, breastfeeding might seem like the be all and end all right now, but it won't matter in a few months or years. No one will care if you breast fed at the school gate (or if you did baby led weaning, sleep training, or whatever else Mummy bloggers like to argue about) and no one will be able to tell what choices you made.

It will all be about what reading level they are on instead

^But the absolute best thing about FF, apart from other people being able to feed the baby, is that when you feed them, the positioning is that you can look straight into those gorgeous baby eyes.*

I never consider this before - lovely

Sorry - bold and spelling fails!

@Cherryhill22. I started off breast my ds but by the time he was 2 & a half months I realised I wasn't producing enough milk for him so I had to start combination feeding with formula.
By the time he was 3 months he completely lost interest in boob & was fully fed on formula.
Hes now a happy healthy 18 month old.

Started breastfeeding, sorry.

Oh god honestly just do yourself a favour and switch to formula. Your op brought back horrible memories of trying to breastfeed, baby wouldn’t latch, I was in pain after the birth and could sit comfortably, was pumping around the clock... it was bad.

I switched to formula and it was like a weight of my shoulders. I loved feeding my baby his bottle, all the stress had gone and I could bond with him. He’s 3 now and he’s perfect. Tall and strong, intelligent and funny, very rarely ill. I have no doubt in my mind that he would have been any different if I’d breastfed him.

I decided to bottle feed ds2 from birth and he is also just as strong and healthy. People bang on about the health benefits of breastfeeding but formula is pretty amazing. The best thing for your baby right now is for you to be happy and healthy and if formula is going to do that then I would say do it. Hundreds and thousands of children have thrived on formula. Give yourself a break. Having a new baby is hard enough, do what works for you right now, your baby will be fine.

Oh and here’s a success story for you - Ds1 was sleeping through the night (7pm-7am) from 8 weeks and ds2 from 6 weeks. Obviously I can’t be certain I can attribute it to formula feeding but I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t have slept that well had I been breastfeeding!

Oh OP, you poor thing. For what it’s worth DD1 was EBF and fed until she was nearly 3. DD2 never loved it and I kept getting mastitis, so she ended up having some formula and completely self weaned by 8 months. Felt guilty for a while that DD1 had that “advantage” that her sister didn’t, but now they’re not babies I never think about it and there’s certainly no difference in them physically or cognitively. If it’s making you feel this bad, it’s definitely not worth it.

I have two degrees, no allergies and have never had even a hint of ezcema or asthma.

DS is six months and a hearty, healthy 99th percentile.

Breast is most definitely not best, and sometimes I can sleep while DP feeds him!

Formula is fine.
More than fine, it can be a great choice.

Infant feeding is such a small part of parenting but it feels all consuming at your stage. Don't let it rob you of enjoying your baby. When you're waving her off to school it honestly won't make a single jot of difference

DS1, now 5 was formula fed, DS2 now 4 was breastfed.
You wouldn't know there had been a difference.

Don't put added pressure on yourself. Breastfeeding is very hard and took about 3 weeks for it to click with me and DS2. After that I fed til he was about 9 months and it was fine (not spiritual or life affirming or anything!).
I think I'm trying to say in the longer term it doesn't really matter so do what feels right now and don't look back xx

Op it sounds like you've given it a really good go. You sound exhausted.
I had a similar situation and did get the supply mostly back. It was a monumental struggle though, and I did mix feed during.
If you want to stop bf, then do. You are in charge of your baby, you do what's right for you both X

I was formula fed. My mum wanted to breastfeed but she was ill after I was born. I am perfectly healthy, normal weight, good career and qualifications, great relationship with my parents and whatever other advantages they tell you for breastfeeding. My mum was upset she didn't get to feed the way she wanted but now she knows there are so many ways she parented that have nothing to do with baby feeding. She fed us healthy meals. She read with us, played with us, got us into good schools, had family meals, talked to us about our day every single day, looks after her grandchildren etc etc.

On the other hand YOU don't sound happy about formula. Have you seen an actual IBCLC rather than just a specialist midwife (if you want to continue that is)?
This choice is about YOU and how YOU feel. Your baby is going to be 100% fine whatever you choose because they are very deeply loved and have a mum who will always put them first xx

I foster so 'my' babies are formula fed. I have a little one (11 months) with me at the moment who is often described as the happiest baby ever by the people he meets. He is happy, smiley, engaging, cheeky and bright, very bright. He had a rough start in life but honestly, now he is the most content baby I have ever set eyes on. My other baby (5 months) is shaping up the same way despite another very shaky start in life. Formula is food just the same as breast milk is. Be kind to yourself OP, lots of us here were formula fed or formula fed our babies (I was formula fed as my mum was addicted to prescription drugs and had a breakdown when I was born so was unable to look after me) and we are all success stories just the same as you and your baby will be.

...we are all success stories just the same as you and your baby will be, no matter how you feed them.

Use formula, feed baby.
I told a midwife she wasn't to come near me again when she told me I was selfish for not giving up the morphine so I could breastfeed. The morphine was the only thing minimising the pain enough so I didn't have to be permenantly in a wheelchair!
Most important thing is to ensure your baby is fed, every other judgemental twat can jog on.
I am a formula baby, high iq, successful career and family. Both of my children are formula fed and there is bugger all wrong with them.
This guilt tripping game that is played about formula feeding is absolutely vile.
Feed your baby whatever they need to thrive.

I had a tough Start too. Low supply had to top up with formula for several weeks but I kept at it, expressing with a pump between feeds and my milk supply finally went up

Even though they said at the hospital my DD had a small tongue tie and that she'd be fine we went private and they said he tie was way worse, got it fixed, and things fell into place finally

So basically go for formula, it helped me. Your journey could take you to formula only but it might give you a helping hand to get hang with BFing. Best of luck. You're doing great!!

I bf my 3 all till 12 months + (2 have lots of health issues and picked up every bug going), my siblings all ff their dcs and none have any long term illnesses and haven't been sickly children.
I always say a happy healthy mother is the most important thing you can give your child. So with all parenting choices it's what's best for dc and you, not what everyone else thinks.

Hey, guilt free and far from lazy FF mum here 👋

I had big issues with breastfeeding, it was awful, I was nearly suicidal when I realised I couldn’t do it. Which now, seems insanity - the guilt we feel for not wanting to see our babies starve to death eh!

Fast forward, I have a healthy, extremely happy and well bonded 10mo who I adore beyond words. Formula feeding was the best thing for me and baby. If I have another I’ll be going straight to formula.

I have also had very, very long winded dialogue with the NHS regarding some of their spurious benefits to breastfeeding and they’ve had to change their website, they didn’t have the evidence to some of their claims, to the contrary. Do your own research, make your own choices but I’ll just say, formula feeding is absolutely not something to beat yourself up about.

All that said, if you really WANT to continue breastfeeding, why not do the morning breastfeeding and rest of the day bottle? Worked for a friend. Best of luck.