Moody, Grumpy, 9 year old boy - what can I do to brighten his mood?

[knakered]

My 9 year old is moody, grumpy, angry frustrated...always feels put upon/unfairly treated he isnt my feelings for him range from pity (is he depressed, just got a woeful disposition?)...or is he behaving like a sulky spoilt brat...or maybe both.

We try really hard to keep him happy - but sometimes I think that we are exacerbating the situation and being indulgent -- we dont give lots of stuff and stick with our boundaries but seem to spend ages defending, cajoling, explaining which is draining...somtimes this feels like we are being manipulated and that his mood is getting worse not better...he is a delightful child at school with his friends etc...the oldest of 4 ...how can I make him happy

I think adults can focus too much on making sure their child is happy all the time. Acknowledge his feelings, it's ok to feel grumpy and angry.

Instead of spending all that time defending and reasoning, just tell him you understand he's feeling angry, empathise a little. Then talk to him later when he's calmer.