I'm paranoid about what my 1 year old eats

[Hayley2407]

I really want my boy to have a healthy balanced diet with all the nutrients he needs.
I make him veggie pastas and omelettes etc and he is a good eater, but when he goes to my dads and his partners I get so anxious as my dads partner gives him food I don't want him to have. I have tried packing a lunch bag for him and my dad does stick to it but she doesn't she always gives him little extras and says it's what grandparents are for. But he goes there 3 times a week when I'm working!
Am I being too strict? I get so anxious something bad is going to happen if he doesn't eat healthy

What sort of food are we talking about?

If you're not happy with what your dad feeds him, discuss it with him, and if you don't trust him to comply then stop sending him.

I would also say, however, that you need to take a look at your anxiety levels and really think about whether you might be more worried than is appropriate. Maybe reach out to your GP or HV for some support.

What kind of food are they giving him?

TBH, I think that as long as they’re not filling him with haribo, it’s a case of everything in moderation, even things like crisps and biscuits.

At the end of the day your dad has had children of his own and you’ve all made it safely to adulthood. I’m always a bit at people who advise posters never to let the grandparents have the kids alone again because of what they feed them.

As long as it’s not alcohol

What's she giving him? Whole grapes? Choc liqueurs? Reheated take away from the night before?

We don't have good and bad food in my house! It's all just food. I do try and prioritise nutrient rich foods over less nutrient rich foods, and try and get a balance, but nothing is banned except caffeinated and alcoholic drinks, for obvious reasons. They are allowed chocolate, cake, biscuits, crisps, ice cream, fried foods etc. Especially at other people's houses!

Im not sure I could get that fussed about what they feed him when it sounds like it's nothing terrible just maybe not as healthy as you would make. Unless they are only feeding him sweets and cake then truthfully its not worth worrying over.

They are providing childcare for you 3 days a week so honestly you either trust them to look after him or you don't? If you don't trust them then you need to find paid childcare instead.

It depends what he is being given.

If it's basically ok but with some raisins and chopped fruit or an occasional bag of cheesy cheddars, I wouldn't worry.

But if it's chocolate frogs and jam sandwiches for tea, I would have a firm word with them both and make it clear you really aren't comfortable.

The way I see it, when other people are looking after my kids it's not up to me to micromanage the situation, I'm trusting them to act in loco parentis. So long as they respect any allergies, and are aware of choking hazards, then it's good with me. I would be happy with my child eating jam sandwiches and chocolate frogs, but not whole grapes/ haribo / lolly pops, because choking is such a worry for me. Obviously everyone is different but I try to stick to a few simple rules than loads of confusing ones. I think you have to prioritise your concerns.

Yeah absolutely, today we didn't eat a single snack food, processed food, fried food, junk food etc. We did probably have a bit too much cheese today. But hardly any sugar at all, and plenty of fruit and veg. Everything in balance!