Advice...

[Aizy]

I’m having a second child but there are many places I went wrong with the first and I wanted advice on how to do things right this time...
things such as

1. You know when the baby is born, a lot of times they sleep all day and are awake all night, how do you fix that pattern ?

2. my first child I had to rock her to sleep all night and hold her in my arms all night, if I put her down she would cry and so I was holding her all night in my tired skinny little arms which was really painful, what do you suggest I do this time if the baby cries and wants to be held? And should I not rock?

3. my mother then told me to rock the baby in her Moses basket and then she got into the habit of that so the only way she would sleep is being rocked in her basket or rocking chair or when she is old enough; child swing. Or I had to walk back and forth in the living room rocking her for her to sleep... I am assuming rocking is a bad habit, how do I stop myself from doing it this time ?

4. my first child is 3 and she still needs to be forced to eat, I still have to feed her otherwise she will starve all day, I think the main reason is maybe I didn’t introduce her to finger foods from the start and I have been feeding her myself when I should have given her the chance to feed herself so any suggestions/ tips and tricks I should use so that this child number two eats themselves?

My toddler also hates sleeping
No matter how sleepy she is
She will rub her eyes, Pinch herself to be awake, she will do whatever it takes to not sleep! I have to bribe her to sleep, during nap time I have to tell her if you sleep we will go out, even at night time I have to bribe her someway, I don’t understand why she has such a bad connection with sleep and I don’t Want that for baby number 2...

Another habit my toddler has is that she screams ! Anything she wants she screams or if someone bothers her she screams. I have no idea how to make the screaming stop and my biggest fear is having two screamers...

Anyways I think that is it but as much advice is welcomed
Like when the baby is born
Do I keep the baby in it’s own room in a crib with A baby monitor ? My first one I kept with me all the time...

First of all, sorry to say there is not a lot you can do about your first point, babies naturally think night is day and day is night. This will sort itself out around by four months.

Join baby weaning Facebook groups when your little one is coming close to six months for idea on baby led weaning (I did a combination of feeding and baby led)

And also baby ideally needs to stay in the same room as you for six months due to the risk of SIDS

I think you should do some research on the internet or by a baby book as these are all really basic issues. You're baby will want to be constantly held for the first 3/4 months, you can't avoid that. They are in a big new scary world and need you for reassurance 24/7, research the 4th trimester.

I'm expecting my second later this year and I've spent the last few months getting my first ready so she can be a bit more independent - by some of your post I'd say tackling some of those issues with your DD now would be a good idea.

In response to your other question - day time keep bright and noisy, night times are dark and quiet. Baby should be sleeping with you - I imagine I'll use a sling a lot with my second so I can still play with my first during the day. We never did any rocking or swaying to get baby to sleep - just cuddles and shushing. I think babies like different things but I never started off rocking as I didn't want to end up doing it for hours on end.