When can you do more?

[Atticus500]

DD is 10 weeks and I know this is going to be different for everyone, but when did you feel you could start to do more? I’m really struggling with the not being able to leave the house for more than an hour (she EBF) and not being able to organise anything (she is a terrible sleeper). When did you feel you could do more because the baby was in a pattern? I’m holding out for 12 weeks... 🤞

The first 3 years are the hardest. Some children/babies are easier than others.

Once they sleep through (6 weeks with dd and 9 weeks with ds) then you feel like you can do anything during the day. Its the tiredness from getting up in the night that floors you

About 3 months for me. She never really got into a routine until about 9 or 10 months as she wouldn't nap for more than 30 mins, but I learnt to work around that!

I think you have to do it, and the trips go well before you feel confident or eager to go out. With dd1 it took ages and I would always have an 'eexcuse' not to go out because it just seemed like such a ballache. Whereas with dd2 I've had to do the school run everyday (precovid obviously) so was already used to getting baby fed and out by day 2. So outings during the day never seemed as tricky as they did with dd1. So I would say go for it, but start small. Just take a blanket to a park or somewhere close by so you can sit and feed baby but it's quick to go home and no hassle if you leave after 10 minutes. Then build up from there. If you want to go somewhere 'big', I found going with my mum or dh on the first occasion helped, so I could scope it out, then I'd be happy to go back solo.

DD breastfed constantly and didn't like to be put down or parted from me. As a newborn and a baby generally, I used to take her out in a sling for walks (she wouldn't nap anywhere else but on me) and I quickly got good at being able to feed her in the sling too. From about 7 weeks I took her to a baby massage session each week and from about 10 weeks took her to an under 1's weekly baby group. Through these I made friends with a couple of other women with babies around the same age and we would take them for daily walks with the sling or buggy, and go to local cafes for lunch or a coffee. I think being with other mums predominantly made it easier, as we were all in the same boat.

The main thing that made socialising and getting out more possible was learning to give zero fucks about breastfeeding in public. I was subtle about it, but I would do it anywhere. Honestly I don't think I would have left the house for more than half an hour otherwise, as DD was attached to the breast constantly for the first 9 months! I should also mention I never got a negative comment about breastfeeding her in public, and never spotted at least, even a raised eyebrow. I do remember being scared to feed her in public the first few times I did though, but it was honestly fine.

When my EBF DS2 was 10 weeks we flew to Germany and I was a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding. We had been in soft play with his big brother at 4 days old. Once you get the hang of feeding in public you can go out as soon and as much as you like.