Baby broke my heart 💔

[Greygoose21]

Hi all,

Feel silly writing this!
So I’m currently on maternity leave so at home with baby like 99.9% of the time. When my partner gets home from work she gets super excited like she squeals and does the crab hands as we call them.
I went to work today for the first time to use one of my kit days. Did a 12 hr shift, 7-7.
Nothing! no excitement what so ever when she saw me. It really upset me. I know it sounds silly but if you seen the face she gives her dad when he comes home from work you would understand. That’s what I wanted 😢 x

Most babies do this...

Its because your the parent she sees most....

How old is your baby?

Because you are the primary caregiver she will react differently. In her eyes you should always be there, you are her constant. Which is why Daddy is the exciting one. Try and look at it as confirmation of your strong bond.

Your baby hasn't really worked out yet that you and she are seperate people, she still sees you as a part of her, and something that will always be there. It's probably going to sound counterintuitive but it's good, it's evidence that she is nice and secure in her attachment to you, she's not worried at all that you might not come back, she just takes it as a given that you will be there. So she might not have got excited about seeing you because to her you've always been there, you're always going to be there and that's fine. Dad is much more novel because he comes and goes, and she doesn't have that same attachment to him, so he is exciting. You are something far, far more important than novel and exciting, you are permanent, in her eyes.

I know how you feel by the way, when he was about 6 months I dropped DS off at my mums for a sleep over, picked him up the next day and he wasn't bothered. Got him home and handed him over to dad and he lit up. It is gutting. But it's just what babies do.

Aw same happened to me.. I was gutted.. but on the next day she had a big smile when she saw me

Been there, when I went back to work after maternity leave I had the same thing, broke my heart and I cried a few times. She just wanted daddy for everytning, and then a couple of months later, it changed and she was happy to see me and wouldn’t want daddy.

Its just a phase and honestly its good as it shows how securely attached she is to you.

Mine has always been a Daddy’s girl, though when she hit about 12 months she started getting excited about me collecting her from her grandparents at the end of the day. Now at 20 months I get a MUMMA and a kiss (unless she’s doing something interesting with Nanny and then she’s not bothered 😂).

Honestly, enjoy it. It’s great when they go and grab Daddy’s hand to go and play some incomprehensible toddler game and you get to chill on the sofa.

Mine went absolutely bananas with joy when we returned home after 2 months away and she recognised an item of furniture. When I came home after a 4 day conference abroad she was like "yawn, who is this person?" Just go with the flow, enjoy her excitement, don't overthink anything else.

My kids take me so much for granted! I'm as sure as the sun rise or sun set. I'm just accepted as being ever present in their lives. They don't get excited to see me. Maybe sometimes they notice me in the same way they would the phases of the moon. I'm their home, the giver of food, the drier of tears, the fixer of all that's broken, and the one who washes their clothes and tidies up after them. I'm like the absolute opposite of a Disney Dad. I'm just any old normal boring day. Other people are like birthdays, holidays and Christmas. I'm toast and cereal for breakfast, other people are like pancakes or waffles or fry ups. I'm their sliced bread, not their choux buns. As it should be.

Ah dont feel bad this is so common. Mine are older than yours but I am a stay at home mum and on the surface both mine much prefer my husband because I am always there and he is a novelty. But when someone is hurt or ill they want me. They just take you for granted if you’re always there. Don’t take it to heart. You are your baby’s whole world.

Yeah it's silly. Be happy that she is happy and managing without you. My kid was always like this until 2 yrs 3 months. I couldn't say what he'd be like now because I'm on mat leave.

I could have written this post! It’s so nice to hear that it means we have a good bond though as other posters pointed out as I hadn’t thought of it that way!I’m glad to hear that as it bothered me too! I felt like I wasn’t doing a good enough job if she wasn’t as happy to see me! It sounds silly writing it down but I wanted to just to say that I totally get how you are feeling!!