Eight month sleep regression - six weeks on

[Smillar2020]

Baby has turned into a nightmare. Refuses to go to bed every night until at least 11.30pm. If he goes down sooner he’s up 2.30-7am sometimes. This has been going on for over six weeks now and I’m at the end of my tether. I’m a single parent and have no help. Been on my own the entire lockdown with baby. I feel so awful saying this but I just want a couple of hours to myself at night to wind down and not have to entertain a baby. Everyone said it only lasts a couple of weeks but that’s a lie. I’m losing the will to live wasting so much time trying to put him to bed even though he’s exhausted.

Ah, well done you! You're doing a GREAT job! Lockdown is tough, but especially so with a mini dictator around.

How is daytime napping going? Does baby nap in the same place you want them to sleep at night? Where is that?

Regarding a break, yes, you definitely need that, a few hours a week unattached and not being on call can make a huge difference. Do you have any family locally that can help at all?

He naps well during the day in his pram. I’ve tried everything - waking up earlier in the morning, shortening naps. It’s honestly horrendous at night. Spending my whole night going up and down to bed as baby is falling asleep but then comes alive in cot. I have parents nearby but they don’t do much. They’ve taken him once for two hours a week ago as I had an important work meeting.

I started by getting day naps to a reasonable standard first before trying night sleep in his cot. Do you have a travel cot or similar you could have by your bed for the meantime?

I let my DS play and then have some short periods alone playing in his cot, just playing in the daytime whilst I mooched about so he was happy being in there. Then we started with naps, eventually after 3 weeks or so when he was napping well in there I would put him down at night but bring him back to travel cot next to my bed when he woke, then after a couple of weeks of that I found he just needed his dummy popping back in, and then one night after another couple of weeks he just got it and sleeps through. He still has the odd wake up for a trapped arm or teething but for the most part he's got it.

It's what's worked here and there's been minimal tears on both sides. Slow and steady increases in time there

He’s slept in his cot for the last two months, pretty much 8-7 every night, mostly without waking. So I know he is capable of doing it. He is exhausted come 7.30pm and as soon as I put him on his changing mat in his room to get ready for bed he comes alive and starts thrashing about until at least 10.30pm. I don’t understand it at all, it’s driving me insane and I’m wasting hours every night trying to get him to bed.

I think daytime naps probably need to be longer. Sounds counterintuitive but my ds definitely sleeps better when he's had a good 3 hours sleep over the course of the day. Nap gaps of 2 / 3 / 4 hours work well throughout the day so for example wake a 7am first nap is at 9am (2 hours) sleep for 1.5 hours = wake at 10:30 so sleep at 1:30pm (3 hours) sleep for 1.5 hours = wake at 3pm sleep at 7pm (4 hours). Just time the next sleep 2, 3 or 4 hours after he last woke depending on which nap / sleep you're on.

Also, I wouldn't waste time or energy on forcing sleep if he won't go down. With ds if he didn't settle within 5 minutes or seemed upset beyond whinging I'd just go and get him back up and try again 15 minutes later. And repeat. In my opinion there's no point having the upset and negative associations of trying to force him to go to sleep.

There are sleep consultants you could try too? We never had to by following the above but I know other people who have used them and have sown it has helped so that could be another option too