My DS doesn't play with me

[SaladSauce]

Much... is this normal ?
More in the garden, we are out here now and I tend to try and follow him round to play and he moves on to the next thing, like he's ok in his own.

This leads me to my phone so I feel like a bit of a useless mum.
Is this a bad thing for now ?

He is safe and I watch him all the time, but he's always going to be an only child and I worry he will get lonely

Count your blessings.

Oh !!

What happens if you back off and let him play on his own? Is he engaging in deep focussed play? Does he talk while playing? Does he pop back to you from time to time?

How old is he?

There is literally nothing useful anyone can say to you about this without knowing how old he is.

Yes deep focussed play. I've been here for half an hour not talking to text it and he's got a car, a water table and just started established walking so he's going between those things and coming to take my glasses off.

He's 18 months

Haha @ age

Oops

When I say car, his favourite, he's got a few and a swing

And he's just come to say hello haha

Sounds like heaven... I’ve got a four year old who can’t play by himself at all. All he wants to do is play ball, swing, chase, play ghosts, hide n seek, catch, twelve hours a day while I attempt to look after a baby too. Can we swop please?

Youre lucky. My 9yo still can't play independently

Then I'd say enjoy watching him play! Focussed play is good. When he comes to you, talk to him, introduce new vocab for the things he shows you.

You're not a bad mum to have a few minutes peace while he plays independently. If you want to get involved, talk to him while you're pottering about the house, almost like narrating what you are doing. Let him help with household jobs (putting washing in machine, sweeping the floor, tidying toys etc).

I would let him potter, if he's happy, op. I'm sure he'll let you know when he wants your attention. Being on your phone when he's amusing himself isn't the same as being on your phone and ignoring him while he's trying to interact, which absolutely doesn't sound like something you would do!

Not saying you would be like this, but I think it's good for only children ( I was one) not to be the subject of parents' intense focus all the time. Too much pressure!

Thanks all, I feel reassured

I think that it's also because I left work at 26 weeks as I was ill, and he had reflux so I held him up for all naps and was on my phone too much through all that, but researching things a lot of the time.

So for me it's almost the phone thing is because of that, but I might find other ways to make my time, because I also worry he will see it's okay to hold a device 24/7 (even tho it's not that etc)

Mine was like this til she was about 2.5 now she will drag me over to join in her games. Just enjoy while it lasts 😀