Really whingy (sp) 2 year old! Help before I go mad!!

[Xavielli]

Hey Peeps.

My DS will be 3 in december and has recently developed the habit of just whining everytime he wants something. He is perfectly capable of asking for things nicely but it seems to me that from the moment I get him out of bed in the morning to the time he goes back there at night all I hear is a constant uuhhhhuUUhhhuuuuuUUUuhhhu!

He has a younger sister (17months) who cant really ask for things properly yet, I imagine this is a factor.

No matter where we go or what we are doing he strops out at anything and everything. Really stressing me out and making me not want to take him anywhere.

Any suggestions would be most welcome.

DS started when he was 3. It is better now except when he is tired and nothing is right. 'my food is too hot' kind of whines

I say 'I don't understand that voice. Please use a nice voice' and then ignore him until he does so. I ignore him completely now as he is bigger but at first would keep reminding him I was waiting for a nice voice.

You just have to try to tune it out otherwise you explode. It is much easier now his little sister can chat because I can turn my attention to her to tune him out.

Also compliment him when he asks in a nice voice first time. Because of the little sister, you could also let him overhear compliments like when she indicates she wants something say to her 'one day you'll be able to use words like your brother can.'

Thanks alot Otherside. I try to do that but I guess the whines just get ontop of me!

Will try to be more patient.

I don't think there's any miracle cure for the whining but hopefully a wiser mumsnetter will come along with one.

I've just reread your OP and see that he is making a big fuss. Does the whining turn into a sulk or tantrum if he doesn't get what he wants?

The other thing you could try is the granting them their wishes in fantasy as advised in the 'how to talk so your kids will listen' book.
Eg when DS wants baguette and there's none left only ordinary bread, and he starts whining I'll say 'I wish I could have bought a bigger baguette. I wish I could have bought one this big. Or even one so long that it wouldn't fit in the car'
DS 'Or even one so long you had to drive a truck. I'll have cornflakes instead'

You feel a bit silly at first but it's very effective. Can spark up some fun chats sometimes

DS now wants to move house so that we live closer to the bakery and so we can stock up on things we've run out of straight away. But we're to wait until the weekend because we can't move on a school day.

lol other side

my ds 2.5 has delayed speech so tends to whine alot whiuch i find frustrating so slightly different but maybe you could tell him what a great big brother hewould be if he was to speak properly so his sister can learn from him and praise even the smallest word he says

"did you just say " i cant believe you said that in shocked but proud voice

" WHAT A VERY BIG BOY YOU ARE WELL DONE " sorry about caps

ignore the whining just say i cant undersdtand you darling use words like a big boy and just praise its a phase i would imagine at getting your attention maybe tell him if he acts like a big boy you will ahve special time with him and set aside short amount of time to do drawing or play doh

i have found if i do this with my ds although he cant talk properly he will attempt to say words and obviously party time then lol

also i see a speach therapist who says if you give in because they are whining they know they dont have to speak so consistency make him say what he wants or he doesn't get it once he realises he wont get it then he will have to say it

i dont do this with my ds as he cant speak properly but do get him to attempt to say what it is

but if they can speak then just say tell mummy what it is you want using words likea big boy as i cannot understand what you want if he throws a tantrum leave him to calm down and then say are you ready to ask properly now

how is your sister going to learn from her wonderful big brother if he will not speak