can we afford to have a 2nd child in London?

[bubblebee40]

DH and I were discussing the idea of having another child last night and turns out he thinks we really can't afford it. We already have a two-year-old DD and had assumed we'd have another, but now DH is adament that we just dont have the money. Tried to do the sums and I do see his point but at the same time also a bit sad for DD as I think that she would have to have a sibling, so for example - our current take home is 6k per month and mortgage plus nursery come to 3.2k. Both of us work full time in jobs where you cant go p/t and our salaries wont go up by much in the next few years, plus it would mean having to leave our current two-bed flat and move out of the area.

Is having another child really expensive or is DH being unreasonable? Our friends have all either moved out of London when the kids came along or earn enough to put theirs through prep school. Does it get 'cheaper' once they get a little bit older?

Dh's point is that right now we are ok - but if having another is basically double what it is now forever then we need to think about it. We are not really looking at massive pay increases - and in my sector am assuming we might be back to the delights of austerity at least in form if not in word

but i got the message that it should be fine.... :-) will pass it on to DH and see what he says

It definitely gets cheaper and when they get older in that you are dropping that bug chunk of child care. The most expensive time for us was the overlap of having 2 full time in with the childminder before our eldest started school. It was only a period of 8 months but our monthly childcare bill was about £1600 (we use a childminder and live in Berkshire). It was bigger than our mortgage of £1400. Fast forward a few months and the average cost dropped to £1000. Now our youngest will start school in September and all we will require is after school care so our monthly bill will drop to around £450. We effectively lose our extra mortgage.

I can assure you, with state education you won’t be spending 3k a month on school lunches, school activities and after school childcare even for 2kids. Can I just ask, would you move within Greater London to buy a house or are you intent on staying in the flat/ area?

Do you think it's more the concern about change in lifestyle for dh? As in less of even more luxuries?

@Thisismytimetoshine

How would you save on nursery fees by moving out of London? Are they significantly less expensive elsewhere?

Yes. Most things are more money in London compared to places like Leeds or Manchester. Travelling alone in London is so expensive. I can understand how people relocate.

but if having another is basically double what it is now forever then we need to think about it

It won’t be double what it is now!

Because if the effect of the 30 free hours at nursery, and the ending of f/t childcare once they are in school.

Also so much capital outlay is reduced: clothes, toys, pram, cot, baby car seat... all passed down to the younger one.

I had my 2and when my oldest started school I.e she started in the September and youngest arrived in the november. 4 yr 10 months in mine. Xx

@bubblebee40 - very similar to you. Our nursery fees went up 3 times in one year.

A friend of ours says when they stopped paying nursery fees, it was like winning the lottery. They have 2 children, had a flat in east london then moved to zone 6 in South West/East london. I could not tell you where our money went before nursery fees.

Also you are looking at prep schools. Could you consider waiting until year 2 or 3 to move the little one to a private school? Also, do you have a prep school in mind. We had a look a few years ago and found that the term fees seemed to be what we were paying PER MONTH at the nursery.

Also, I agree with others that the 15 or 30 free hours help (I can't quite tell which one you qualify for...) But most London nurseries still make you pay a hefty top up fee. It's more like a "discount" than a strictly "free" service.

We did have a number 2. For whatever reason, it ends up being that when the first one starts reception, we start paying nursery fees for number 2. Also, I staggered my return. I return before the one year mark, part time so I get a bit of a salary whilst being able to do some pick ups/ drop offs. Then full time at the one year mark. This,I hope, will help a bit with finances. Also, look around at nursery fees. We changed nurseries for that reason.

@40hello "Keep all her clothes and shoes and pass them down. They can share a room." Yes to this. If you end up having a different gender, it's surprising how much can still be re-purposed. Otherwise, try and find someone local to do clothes swap.

@StayAlert "We had a second child in London but waited till DC1 started reception before having DC2 just so we were not paying 2 lots of nursery fees at the same time" we did this too not by choice. Hopefully it works out.