I’m really worried about my DS starting nursery school

[Slat3]

My 2 year old DS starts nursery school in September and I’m really concerned.
He is 3 in August so will be the youngest and he will be going from nothing since March to 5 days a week (although I assume he will be on half days for a while).
He is potty trained - mostly. But does have accidents still, waits till last minute to go and wees in his underpants most days.
He is also now wanting to be fed every meal, even cereal. I can’t cope with it anymore as he’s completely regressing and I’m sick of spending 1-2 hours each meal battling with him to eat. Obviously he wasn’t like this at nursery but there is no nursery now.
It’s absolutely infuriating and upsetting because everyday is Groundhog Day and he just will not eat.
I’ve reached breaking point tonight and refuse to feed him, he will go hungry and wake up loads during the night wanting milk (still breastfeeding and trying to night wean) and still doesn’t sleep through the night and if he does, he’s up at 5.15am.
What can I do? How can I sort it out? He fell asleep crying on his bedroom floor at 6.45 today as I just needed to leave him (and I never leave him to cry because he’s never stopped! He was a baby who would cry for hours even with me holding him).
I pick him up and pop him in bed and let him breadfeed but this is going on for half an hour and I’m cramped in a toddler bed so tried to turn round to get comfier - I don’t mind lying with him - and he starts crying again so I just leave the room.
Absolutely fed up, he’s nearly 3!! I keep telling him he’s not a baby, he’s a big boy but he says he is a baby 😭

Hi OP, that sounds tough. Did this regression coincide with the lockdown starting? Is anything else going on?

For nightweaning, a book called Nurses when the sunshine helped us, as did a gro clock. I'd also recommend the gro clock for the early morning starts.

Could you seek advice from HV regarding food? Personally, I wouldn't battle with him to eat. I would give him his food - always one thing on the plate that you know he likes - and eat your food at the same time. Don't make any reference to him eating or not. Talk about other things. If he eats, he eats and if he doesn't, he doesn't. I wouldn't give any extra breastfeeds in the night to compensate. Sounds harsh when I write it out but I don't think battles are the way forward.

Also, when is the first breastfeed of the day? If it happens when he wakes up early that could keep causing him to wake up at that time. Try doing breakfast at 6 earliest and then breastfeed after.

Nursery will be good for him.

1. Kids tend to copy other kids, so he’ll see them all sitting & eating and probably join in.
2. He’ll have no-one to feed him and will quickly realise he needs to do it himself
3. It’ll tire him out which will help with sleep & hopefully help his appetite as well
4. He’ll get into a routine which is really positive for children
5. Nursery staff are experts in childcare & child development. They’ll be well versed in clingy, worried, anxious, nervous, potty accident prone, fussy eater children! They’ll help both you & him settle!

My little girl has been going to nursery since she was 1 & has really thrived. She’s a really fussy eater at home but nursery she at least tries everything and eats some surprising things! At home, getting her to sit still & eat with us is a battle. At nursery, she sits happily at the table until she’s told she can leave. She’s learnt numbers, letters, colours, they are helping her overcome her aversion to dirty hands, she’s made friends and is very attached to a couple adults in the room. They even taught her to use a scooter just before lockdown! She would get really angry & frustrated at home but her key worker got her doing it 😁

Honestly, nurseries can be fantastic places! I’m sure it’ll really push your little boy on!

I can’t tell you how much I miss ours.. I’m so excited they are opening again next week!