Bottle feeding culture in the UK

[TeenyQueen]

This morning I saw a Facebook photo of my former colleague's newborn baby being bottle fed by her older sister (toddler). I suppose it was a cute photo, but I fundamentally disagree with the idea that anyone should be able to bottle feed a baby. What I mean is not just the baby's parents but all sorts of friends and relatives. Isn't infant feeding part of bonding? When did it become a 'thing' for siblings to feed a newborn?

I have three issues with this. 1. Breastfeeding mums are still being told that breastfeeding in public is undesirable and photos of breastfeeding are censored on social media (but it's ok to have pictures of bottle feeding).

1. We seem to be moving away from this idea that feeding a baby is part of social interaction and bonding between the baby and parent.
2. We're teaching young children that bottle feeding is the normal and usual thing to do and breastfeeding is not.

FYI the baby was in a completely wrong position for feeding anyway and didn't look very comfortable.

Any thoughts?

@MarylandMayhem and @sqirrelfriends except there is no conclusive evidence that there is by difference between formula feeding and breastfeeding. As per link I posted when you compare like with like, the alleged benefits disappear because it’s a correlation.

It is true that it’s very difficult for media to stand up against the propaganda (see last para of article @sqirrelfriend highlighted). That being said tho, there’s nothing wrong with breastfeeding as long as we are not pressuring women and making their lives miserable or starving babies. Feed either way but don’t shame people for not doing the same as you.

My DD was born with severe stomach problems that no Dr or HV would take seriously despite her falling off the chart. The only advice I got was to put her on formula because my milk must not be good enough.

I refused to give formula, I breastfed every hour day and night instead for 3 months.
When we eventually managed to see a pediatrician they told me that if I hadn't insisted on breastfeeding her then she would have very likely died or be brain damaged because she wouldn't have been able to absorb enough nutritiants and calories from formula, it would also have inflated her stomach and caused more pain and issues.

That experience showed me just how special breastmilk is, how just a small amount of it could keep a baby alive and functioning.

I did switch to formula completely for my own benefit once she was stable on medication and able to drink it. I don't feel any shame about it, I'm not going to pretend formula and breastmilk are the same though.

I actually started a thread in infant feeding about it at the time begging for help/ wtf is wrong with my baby. Many posters jumped on and told be to formula feed and that I must be starving my baby etc, it was only a couple of women on there who actually supported me breastfeeding and who gave me confidence that my milk really wasn't the issue and that I must take my dd to A and E and beg to be seen (which I did promptly).

I'm forever grateful to those women, my dd wouldn't be here if I had listened to the 'just give formula' lot.

@Parker231 Where exactly is the shaming?

Oh my God, @MarylandMayhem Your story gave me goosebumps. I'm so glad you both got through that scary time and your daughter is well

@MarylandMayhem I could tell a similar tale myself in reverse. If I hadn't have topped up with formula my baby would have starved because I had hypoplasia. If I'd have listened to the breastfeeding brigade and carried on sitting in my bedroom topless doing skin to skin and relentlessly feeding and pumping every hour of the day I wouldn't have my dd. Most mothers have the good sense to know what is best for their baby in their particular situation as you did and as I did.

@skinnyhotchoc that's awful, I'm glad your DD is ok now.

You tried to feed your DD breastmilk and it didn't work out for a genuine reason. What were trying to understand is why do people not try in the first place.

What were trying to understand is why do people not try in the first place.

I don’t think that’s what OP or people like her that start threads like these are trying to find out at all. There have been numerous studies and also threads like this in this in the past. The OPs just want to open a dialogue about breastfeeding, every now and again throwing judgemental sentences in whilst the claiming that that’s not the case at all. It’s been done a million times. I can’t give a figure but the vast majority of women will be aware of the breast is best ‘thing’. Not sure what else to call it. We see it everywhere but still many women choose not to do it. They have their reasons, these reasons have been given by many women on many threads, many times. So if OP and people like OP really wanted to know why women don’t breastfeed they could google, they would find the reasons women give. They’re valid, because that’s what the less women chose. But no, that’s not good enough. Theres always a new woman, with a new baby, that for some reason decides to devote herself to the cause of breastfeeding so much, that she makes another thread like this on a forum like this and then pretends that she’s ‘just trying to find out why blah blah blah, because she’s just wondering blah blah blah. It’s bullshit. These women are obsessed. Most people have all the information about bf and ff from midwives, they read books etc. Then they make their choice. Why some other women find it so difficult to live with the choice of how another woman feeds their baby that they then have to make post threads like this is what I want to know.

@sqirrelfriends but people have told you why they don't want to and it's still not good enough.

People have opened up and all you really need to know is well it was my choice.

Nothing seems to be good enough for you

I've written it earlier down the thread, women start these threads under the premise of 'curiosity' and then deem whether the reasoning is acceptable or not to them.

I would suggest that a few poster will never understand the reasoning of formula feeding, they just won't, and I'm not sure they want to either.

@TeenyQueen - there have been many judgemental posts of ‘I would judge/criticise someone if they didn’t try and bf’ and ‘I bf so I was giving my DC the best start in life’.

No one has the right or knowledge to pass judgement on another mother for her choices. Both bf and ff will give DC’s an excellent start in life.

Have seen my home birth mw today and we were discussing Covid-19 and breastfeeding. It's amazing to think that if, God forbid, I became infected, breastfeeding will give my daughter natural antibodies against it. One of the first babies in the world given protection in this way. Now that really is awesome😊

@Nicknamegoeshere there was studies out a few weeks ago saying that there wasn't enough known about BF and Covid to pass any judgement. In fact due to the proximity you'd have to feed at its more likely your baby would get ill...

@grumpyorange That's incorrect. Look at the NHS guidance re continuing to bf if you are diagnosed with Covid-19.

What you cannot dispute is that ff will categorically provide zero protection against Covid-19.

Whilst we cannot yet be entirely sure at this early stage what exactly bf'ing will pass on re antibodies we can suggest it is likely to be of benefit. Just as it passes on antibodies for other conditions.

In fact due to the proximity you'd have to feed at its more likely your baby would get ill...

Because you can formula feed babies at a distance of 2m so you don’t risk passing it on?

Not to mention nappy changes, dressing, bathing- pretty much everything you do with babies is close proximity.....

@Nicknamegoeshere which fits into the original idea of herd immunity.

As you've just said yourself there is no proven links to ANY benefit of breast milk and Covid. You can of course continue to BF but it is (and has been reported) statistically more likely to pass to your DC as you have to be in close proximity in order to feed. In the scenario where you hadn't yet passed it onto DC if FF obviously someone else could feed your baby whilst you are isolating.

I think you need to keep your judgement to yourself. 1. It's important for siblings to bond too and a lovely experience for everyone. 2. You feed 8 times a day so you have plenty of chance to bond. 3. You have no idea what mum went though with breastfeeding previously. You need to weigh up the stress on everyone.

@bluebluezoo but other people can do those things. Some women on this thread have said they wouldn't express and give baby a bottle and some couldn't express enough to give baby a bottle so would have to be in close proximity to ensure baby is fed.

nicknamegoeshere

Please continue with your plan to breastfeed during the COVID outbreak. It will protect your baby against it. This is what all infant feeding and specialists are saying. This is based on research into similar viruses.

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2020/04/Unicef-UK-Baby-Friendly-Initiative-education-refresher-sheet-1.pdf

Breastfeeding during COVID is recommended.

Vitamin D seems to be crucial in fighting covid. Breast milk doesn’t have enough of it.

I’m planning to bf and will use vitamin D supplements but I’m just saying let’s stop acting like breast milk is some kind of miracle anti-viral.

@MoonBaby1 I absolutely will be. Bf'd my other two for three years each and wouldn't change a thing.

The proximity thing is not a valid argument as other posters have said.

I've just read the RCOG guidelines re benefits of bf'ing during the pandemic.

My midwife is also in complete agreement that benefits far outweigh any risks.

Not a miracle anti viral just your bog standard extremely effective one.

@RoosterPie Who has said that?!!

In the scenario where you hadn't yet passed it onto DC if FF obviously someone else could feed your baby whilst you are isolating

What kind of scenario would you know you have CV in order to isolate and avoid passing it on?

If a parent has cv, unless they’ve been isolating for 14 days before they show symptoms or test positive, they will have been in close proximity with the baby and risked passing it on.