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Parenting

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Explaining Sex to 9 Year Old

1 reply

newlydivorced · 17/04/2020 08:23

Hi. After some advice please.
My daughter was 9 in February. Her Dad and I split up in Aug 2018 and my new partner is living with us.
My daughter is accepting of my new partner and her Dad also has a new partner.
So this morning she heard us having sex and came into the bedroom. Obviously we quickly stopped but she was very upset and ran away. She was asking what the banging noises were and why were you making noises 😬🙈
How would you go about explaining about sex to a 9 year old.
If I go down the route of "how babies are made" then this won't explain as I'm 40 and she knows that I'm not able to have babies (she was IVF)
So I need to explain "sex for pleasure"
I tried to fob her off with "I was yawning" and banging was her step dad getting clothes out of his drawer but she's not stupid.
She said "you were having sex weren't you" but she doesn't really know what this means other than you have to be naked!
I'm really unsure as to how to deal with this and don't want to lie to her and think she's at an age to be told.
Any advice would be much appreciated 😊

OP posts:
mindutopia · 17/04/2020 12:17

I think explaining what sex is involved explaining the mechanics of it and why people do it (you’ve already named some reasons).

In this situation though, she already knows what you were doing and I think going into explicit detail about what and why isn’t really appropriate. I would leave it be and not make a big deal out of it. If she then comes to you with questions, answer them honestly.

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