Child maintenance- he's gone to CMA.

[TwoStepsAhead34]

Soo, he paid for the children in the end of March.
We had a private agreement how much he would pay and it has been fine for the past 4-5 years.
He has been furlough due to CV. I spoke to him in the beginning of April and he said he can't pay nothing this month. I asked what about the furlough pay and he also applied for UC. He was a bit shady as he normally is when we talk about money. I told him once he's back at work, he will need to pay me back the money he's missed now as "I am not going to subsidize your child maintenance, it needs to be paid back as I rely on it" - these were my exact words. He said yes yeah,I know. I will let you know about how much I'm getting.
Last Friday he didn't pay me anything. So I asked him if he has heard from furlough payment or UC? He got VERY angry as I expected. He told me I'm not getting nothing from him. I told him debt is a debt.
Today I received a phone call from Child Maintenance asking to talk to me regarding a current claim. I was like what, I don't have any claims with you. He went to CM saying that he wants CM to figure out how much he has to pay (a lot lot less that we had agreed, that's why I never went to CM to begin with). Guy told me that if he's not earning, I will get nil and if he receives benefits, he will pay £7 pw!!! I was like "He is doing this to fuck his ker." The guy over the phone was less than helpful. So I rang my kids dad - he said he will be giving CM nil income bank account details and "Enjoy your fuck all!"
I don't know what I want from this post. Just a rant more than anything. He's such a fucking asshole.

I'm curious as to why you're having conversations with him about what he pays for his other child?

Your main mistake was in demanding that he pays you the full amount, even though his income has dropped by 20%, when he's already paying you much more than the CMA would have decided. This clearly hot his back up, especially when followed with telling him he'd have to make up the losses once working again. Going through CMA will probably be the best thing to do going forward. Then there's no rom to question how much he has to pay, from either of you.

The thing is that CM is NOT calculated on the basis of his expenses at all, but just on his net salary, no matter how he spends his money, the calculation is based on his net salary. Have they told you how much he is expected to pay?

CMA doesn't ask about living expenses. So whatever he tells you about paying his parents is irrelevant. It is based purely in income, which CMA get from his tax records, number of children, and how many nights the children stay with him.

@Soontobe60 I don't bring it up and I've told him IDGAF several times about his relationship with ex or their problems etc. He just likes to moan to me about her. Me and her have "Hi, how you been?" Relationship when we see.
He has even said that I'm taking her side and what's wrong with me! I'm not taking sides as I said - IDGAF. He just wants me to bolster his opinion by saying "Yeah, how horrible is she by moving on and has a new bf!" 🙄🥴

@TwoStepsAhead34 his living expenses are not taken into account at all. My husband pays through cma and they're not interested in our mortgage etc so they won't be interested in how much he pays his parents

He told me that CMA did take into account his living expenses?! 🤯🤯🤯

His nill income bank account thing won't work, otherwise they'd all do it. His furlough pay will still be paid by his employer, so it won't make a difference for CMS. You will still be able to get money.

The man on the phone gave an estimate based on what your ex told him, which I assume is that he has no income - you can get them to take it directly from his earnings before he's even paid. I'd go down this route as clearly relations aren't great between you.

Also his living expenses make no difference, only his earnings.

@cstaff exactly what you've stated and then some. I go without, rent a crappy room in a house. I forgo any kind of luxury and keep the bare minimum to live off of so that I can provide as much financial support as I can for my children. That's what I feel should be the priority. Each to their own though I guess

Doesn’t this come with the compromise of spending time with your children?

Where do you see them? Do you have them overnight? If you have a crappy room in a shared house presumably it’s not suitable for children?

It’s all well and and good you going without, but maybe your children would rather you had a nice home (even if small) where they could spend time with you?

Not having a go, just money isn’t all kids need.

He has not done himself any favours going to CMS really. They will check his income annually and he will have to pay you what they tell him to, if he does not pay they can take it from his wages and he can run up a debt they will see. Your children might get less money but it will be all traceable and you will get everything they say he owes you (hopefully). He won't be on universal credit for long and he already has earnings this year so they would recalculate.
I hope it works out better for you in the end and it backfires on him for being a twat.

Jesus take the wheel!
I know he has a fairly income and has several other little things going. This is just how he is. He's never happy with just having 1 job. He has to have "more options open". He is workaholic, but he's always been tight with money. So I was surprised when he took his gf away for the weekend.

BTW- someone said that my kids have unsupervised TikTok access. They sat across the lounge from me while I was putting washing away and I was there when they said daddy has uploaded new video - they literally have 3 friends in there: their dad, my neighbours kid and my neighbours kids cousin who lives 2minute walk away. Also their ipads are connected to my phone and laptop - I can monitor them remotely, see their history etc without them even knowing. So all parental safeguarding measurements are 100% in place.

Thank you everyone for your input. I will sleep on it - there's a saying "Mornings are always wiser than evenings." We shall see how this thing goes tomorrow :)