does anyone else leave their 8 year old alone for 45 mins

[nappyaddict]

my friend went back to work just before the summer holidays and she let her then 7 year old walk home from school and her elder sister would meet her at home but now the elder one has to stay at school late and can't meet her.

the mum can get home about 45 mins after her dd2 would get home.

i've said i think it would be ok to leave her on her own for that short amount of time and she is 90% sure of it but her husband won't even entertain the idea.

I wouldn't be keen, esp on a regular basis. And it is illegal.

It not against the law and as far as whether it will be alright that altogether depends on the child. Does she have a friendly neighbour who could keep an eye on her and be a point of contact if her dd had a problem? I used to do this for my neighbours girls.

Personally I wouldnt do it I dont think an 8 yr old would know what to do if something went wrong, as a 1 off if something went wrong you would have no choice but not a regular thing

It isn't illegal - I wouldn't do it though

Have a look here for a range of views www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2724/386592?stamp=070913155504

It's not illegal per se, but a lot would depend on the gilr involved, the circumanstaces at home and how sure your friend wold be that she would indeed get home.

What;s the alternative?

there is still such a lack of affordable after school care and activities. I've been really lucky with out of school care for my children, but there seems to be such a difference in available care depending on the area that you live in .

in my circumstances, yes eight would have been too young for my daughter to be left alone for 45 minutes. what if you were delayed? no trustworthy neighbours or mums of school friends that could help out?

schools finishes at 3:30. dd2 gets home at 3:45. mum gets home at 4:30, dd1 will get home at 4:45 so even if mum is late dd2 wouldn't be on her own for longer than an hour.

she's already been allowed to walk home by herself so she is obviously sensible and responsible to not mess around.

It really does depend on the child. I think an 8-year-old is old enough to be alone for 45 minutes, provided she is well versed in who to contact in case of emergency. I'd only do it if someone in the immediate neighbourhood could be there for her if needed, though. And I'd want to her to ring me as soon as she was home safe in the house, so I know she made the trip home from school okay.

But if she is a responsible child, and not one to be topping up the vodka bottles with water or contacting creepy men online, then possibly yes.

I still think that if she wants to do this she should make sure there is a neighbour her dd can turn to. My neighbour asked me and another neighbour to do this when her girls were 9 and 11.

I would not leave dd on her own, she would hate it too (she worries about things, and is picking up things on the news) She is 9 in January

I am at the liberal end of the MN spectrum in terms of giving children independence -- I would be fine with leaving a sensible 7yo at home for 45 mins while I popped out to eg. pick up a younger sibling or to run to the shops.

But even I wouldn't be keen on this setup, mainly because if there's no-one at home waiting for the child to arrive, then if there was a problem the mother wouldn't find out until quite a lot later and it would be even longer before you could get help to the child. And there would be no-one to notice if the child came home upset or distressed about something.

I think also at 7 they are too young to make reliably reasoned judgements regarding what is safe -- what if someone knocks at the door? What if they come home and smell gas? What if they leave the front door open behind them, or get home and find they've lost their key? Even in the best case scenario, the child would come home and watch telly alone for 45 mins, which isn't really an ideal welcome home for a 7yo.

Is there really no other local mother who would walk the child home and look after her until the mother could get back? Could she pay another mother's aupair or nanny a little extra for taking one additional child home?

I wouldn't leave an 8 year old alone to be honest and I would definately not let them come home to an empty house and then stay on their own.
I think it's one thing to pop out and leave them briefly but to let them walk home and have no one there at age 8 is too young.

My 8yo dd is very sensible but I wouldn't let her let herself in. I would however leave her at home if she was under the weather while I did a school run or something. So, not regularly, and best avoided if possible. imo.

My ds is nearly 10 and I leave him at home for that long occasionly if I pop to the shop or something. However, I wouldn't do it regularly if I could avoid it, even though he's very sensible, knows all the fire/phone/gas rules etc. It's just not very nice to have to let yourself in to an empty house every day at that age.

I'm with the 'would leave alone at home while I popped out but wouldn't let them come home and let themselves in' brigade. What if they got home and there'd been a power cut, or a burglary or a gas leak or a burst pipe or the cat was ill or they'd lost thir key or they couldn't make the key work or the heating was off (in January) or they thought they heard a noise upstairs and they were scared or......