When should you be able to leave your child alone?

[MrsMarvel]

I have started a new thread which started on the Madeleine McCann thread so the crusaders / strikers don't miss out.

I do think it's about education. I remember for a long time blaming my brother for leaving his children in the house on their own when they were 14!!! Only because I thought it was illegal.

I have no idea how old they should be before being legally allowed to be left alone. I need the education!

There is NO WAY id leave my 2 (7&4). So i dont even need to consider the legality yet. What if there was a fire, or one of them was sick, or some wierdo knocked on the door, or there was simply an incident between them or an accident of some kind.
Even if they are sound asleep, it doesnt mean one of them wont wake up after a bad dream or start being sick. (rare, but does happen time to time).

I do let mine play out though, start to give them a little freedom, road sense and general street wise sense. Im never to far and check on them every 10 minutes or so, they are always with other kids and arent allowed to play out if there is noone else out.

Dh, looked after them one day, and i later found out from dd1 he had nipped to the post office and left them home alone. I was raging, bloody furious with him. Especially after he had tried to keep it a secret.

I dont think its wise to leave kids home alone up to age 14ish? (depends on the nature of the child in question too, and who else might be there, ie younger child to look after or another teenager who could easlily become involved in a row). I dont think its wise not because of the risk of abduction but because of all the other common household safety issues.

There's another thing, I don't think you should leave them alone if you're drunk. I can't have a drink until they're in bed anyway. Even a glass of wine makes me go all laid back and "manyana", they'd end up in bed at midnight.

Dh, drinks alot, well alot more than me. Hes a go down the pub after work type. If i have to go to work that evening and i know hes had a drink, i worry. Not because he is paraletic, but he gets them hyped up, they charge about knocking into eachother and everything.
I cant enjoy a drink until they are in bed either.

14! Blimey, I hope I can trust my DDs to be left alone long before that. I think I'll have done something wrong somewhere along the line if not. We need to start giving them a bit more lee-way/independence towards the end of primary school I think.

Think back to what you were doing at 14.

I cant really remember what i was doing at 14. It was a rough guess tbh. Mine are 7&4 and its hard to imaine how or when they will be sensible enough to not set fire to the house or anything stupied like that.

And i dont really know any 10-11yr olds to compare with.

I was babysitting for much younger cousins and my little sister well before I turned 14!

What exactly is the legal age?

Before they can sit up - Never
Once they can sit up - In another room with monitor
Once they are crawling - In another room without a monitor provided in cot or the area is completely safe.
Once they are walking - Anywhere except stairs
Once they can do stairs - Anywhere

But not alone until they are 7, and then only with a child no younger than 10?

Above that age I think they should be allowed anywhere as long as they are with someone else.

I would not leave them with plans to check them every half hour and I would not be responsible for them if I'm not compus mentus (sp?) or peshed.

14! That's absurd. I was taking myself to the doctor for contraception at 14! More like 10 or 11.

haychee - there is NO legal minimum age.

There isn't a legal age, Haychee. That's the problem really, you can get into trouble if harm results, but also 10 minutes to the shop isn't the same as 9 hours while you work a night shift. It's all very relative!

Well it's tough to call. It depends on the child.

So a small baby, asleep in a cot, with a baby monitor, while having a meal for a couple of hours next door? That seems fine.

My DD has been left home alone while I nipped to the post office. She is 9. I felt uncomfortable but it was okay.

We would not nip next door for a drink/barbecue and leave her alone for a couple of hours at night. Even though we would be within eyeline of the house and she would know where we were. We've just discovered that's where our boundaries are.

"Before they can sit up - Never "

I don't understand to what extent you mean here. Not even leave them to go into another room? Surely I am reading this wrong, although that what it seems from the next few on your list.

14 was the age I was given by dh as being the legal age for being left alone. Turns out to be complete fabrication! But I think it may have been guidance.

Your child can be legally left alone whenever you see fit. But it's your responsibility to keep them from neglect or danger.

Any legal people out there that know?

I should have said only when asleep and you are within earshot. That's probably not what you'd call alone...

A friend os mine (new to the country and barely speaking english) used to leave her DD (between 1-2) and go to tesco with her husband in the evening. DD was asleep and didn't know anything about it. I was shocked but she didn't see a problem - she had no -other way to do her shopping!

I suppose your friend's dd wasn't alone if she was with her Dad?

Blimey, no legal age! Thats shocking and leaves it open for all kinds of bad parents to abuse.
Im sure there was a case of a child being left home alone and the parents ended up in big bother (prob 10yrs ago now). I spose it was because it ended up with some harm coming to that particular child that there was the uproar at the time. But i had a feeling something was set at the time re leaving a child home alone at a certain age.

I have left my boys from the age of 10, in the house in the daytime, with strict instructions not to answer the door/telephone or sit in the window/garden so people can see they're alone. They love the independance, know how to use the phone and have next-door to run to if any probs.

No I mean she and her husband would go to Tesco. DD left in an upstiars flat alone.

Haychee is the case you meant the one about the woman who went abroad for 2 weeks and left a youngish child alone?

Well there is Tesco Direct!

It might of been, i really cant remember

I was 8 when I started going to ballet lessons on my own: walk to the train station, catch train, get off 3 or 4 stops later, 5-10 minute, including up a narrow lane to my ballet class. Do jouney in reverse. In winter, this would have been in the dark.

When you are debating about when it is OK to leave children on their own, surely it should also include when you allow them to go places on their own.

Ds has been allowed to go to the post box (acrsso the road and around the corner) on his own since he was 5 (would take for ever as he savoured the freedom). He has just started walking to school on his own (7 on Monday, so this is the first week, and he is still being followed tocheck he follows the "rules").

On the continet, apparently children at nursery school will walk to school on their own.

In terms of leaving "non-sitters" on their own - how far away can you be? Are you allowed to put a bin out? I went and posted some letters once when ds was a few months old. Out of the house for, oh, 3 minutes. Should that be illegal?