Daughter refusing to talk to us and it's her birthday

[shuuush]

My daughter is refusing to celebrate her birthday or talk to us because we made her stay in.
I've just sent her little sister up with her cards and she threw them back at her.

AIBU to totally ignore her tantrum and not beg her to open her cards and presents, and I know she must be finding it hard staying home but so is most of the world 🤷‍♀️.

She's 17 today btw.

Ignore her.

Just ignore her. At 17 she should know better than to act like that. Staying in is hard for everyone.

YANBU! She's 17, not 7. She'll come round, once she's finished huffing and puffing x

Give her a couple of hours - she’ll have calmed down by then.

Oh well. Just ignore her, and don’t acknowledge the sulking when (if) she does come down later

Ignore her and carry on downstairs absolutely normally. Dont pander to her childish behaviour. And don't make a big birthday fuss of her later either.

Thanks all.
She's not spoke to me since Thursday when I had to stand in front of the front door to stop her leaving.
Her dad is on the 12 week list so she should know better.

Just leave her to it what a rotten time to have a birthday let her sulk she can't go out and it is all your fault sigh and move on. My dd is a lot older she is majorly pissed off her birthday is next week.

Can you organise an online party for her?

Be nice to her! I think we’re all having good and not so good days with the current situation and it’s really hard for teenagers. Celebrating a birthday at home with no sign of friends is tough. She’s allowed to be upset and cross and if you give her a bit of love and sympathy she’ll get her emotions back under control just as soon as she’s able to.

It's horrible for teenagers isn't it they're naturally very social creatures, but there's not much you can do about it. Mine is slowly getting his head round it. He's on Houseparty and a few other apps so he can group chat and face time with friends, they had a party on Friday night. Could she do something like that?

In the meantime just leave her be, she'll come round eventually.

I can't be nice to her she won't let me be.
Her cards and gifts are here I promised her an online shopping spree and another birthday after this is over.

She's being a brat to be honest.

17?! She needs to get a grip. Leave her be don’t keep trying to placate her.

Don't pander to it. It’s hard yes but it’s hard for everyone. She’s 17 not 7 almost an adult and should know better than to tantrum and strop at this age.

She's over 7. She needs to grow up and realise this is being done to protect people like her dad.
Ignore her.

If she is being bratty that must bedriving you up the wall I think you all have to let her sulk if she emerges just talk to her as normal but don't pander to it.

Why would you beg her to open her cards and presents. Let her know they're there when she's ready.
At 17 I can see how she'd think her world was ending.

She’s 17! Fair enough if she was just a bit down about it all but petulant is just not on. Ignore.

Make her a fake hospital mask.
Suggest she is grateful you are all still here..

I haven't begged her. Her little sister wanted to give her a card she took it up and got it thrown in her face. I've not spoken to her today at all.

From the other side of coin, have you actually been kind to her? Standing in front of the door to stop her leaving sounds pretty confrontational to me. At 17, it must be hard to have all one's freedoms curtailed and without you approaching it with kindness - acknowledging the sacrifice she is making for her dad - then her only recourse is this behaviour.

My about to turn eight year old is dealing far more gracefully with the fact that he will only see his parents on his birthday, and we are not sure if the ordered presents will arrive on time.

Ignore her- don’t let her sister go in there any more, don’t use her sister as a messenger.

I have been very kind to her.
She threw a huge tantrum on Wednesday when she realised she would have to stay in most of the time and I stayed calm and agreed it was crap but we could make the best of it.
Thursday she deliberately stood under her older brothers room who is WFH and shouted and swore to be let out, I stood in front of the door to prevent her leaving as it is actually a matter of life and death to her dad if she goes to sit In her mates house and then comes back.

I get it's horrible but what can I do ?