Working ft-ensuring quality time

[mummynumnum]

I have just returned to teaching today full-time, as opposed to part-time last year. DD is 1. When I had lots of days with dd I could ensure quality time. But after working today and getting home and ready for bed, I was just wondering how can I ensure I get the quality time in, esp in the eve???

Do you bathe her in the evenings? Making this as special as possible with lots of fun and games might help.

What kind of childcare are you using?

If you have a nanny at home, you could get your DD into a routine whereby she has a long afternoon nap so that she goes to bed a bit later in the evening so you can see her more (your other commitments permitting, of course) and see if she will lie in in the morning. With a CM/nursery that you have to wake your DD up to get to this is harder (but not necessarily impossible).

What are your other evening commitments? How can you reduce them?

Bathtime, last bottle/drink of milk on your knee, cuddly story time. Lots of cuddles.

Then bed and a glass of wine for your quality time!

Glass of wine for you, obviously.

Don't waste time cooking - I prepare and freeze most of DD's stuff beforehand and just pop it in the microwave for her. We only eat together at weekends when there's more time to prepare and eat.

Set aside an half an hour to an hour for playing, don't do bath every night so you can vary your activities, then cuddles (or bfeed) and bed.

You'll also probably end up delaying bedtime - my DD goes down at 8/8.30pm, any earlier and I'd not have much time with her (I don't get in from work before 6/6.30).

Agree with Anna and Brangelina re delaying bedtime - that's what I do and it means I get two good hours of one to one time in the evening.... I also "cheat" a bit on bathtime and only do it every few days so that it becomes a fun activity rather than a chore... I also try and get up / get sorted for work before DS gets up so that there's some time to do stuff in the morning (this morning, for example, I managed to have a 15 minute discussion about what we're going to do on holiday next week, do the breakfast thing, read two books and spend about 15 minutes playing with Brio trains before leaving the house. It is, however, a bit tiring.....

Thanks for ideas. Some I do, so feel better and others I will give a go. DD goes to bed at 6pm and despite efforts to make this later, I have not had much success. She sleeps well at nursery and loves it. The 6pm can make quality time difficult. Ok if manage to leave school around 4pm, but if we have meetings they can go on to 5, even 6 and this can make the whole eve thing very rushed and I feel very bad.

Yes, 6pm is early (but some children need a lot of sleep - mine doesn't) and makes your evening very short. Does your daughter find nursery very tiring?

She has just moved up a group and she does seem more tired, but to be honest she naps better there than at home.

I try and get all housework done through the week in the evenings so that weekends aren't spent doing washing or cleaning the bathroom. I am generally knackered by Friday evening as I have been on the go pretty much from 6.30 on Monday morning but it's worth it to spend time with dd at the weekends.

Hopefully as your dd gets older she will go to bed later. My hour with dd between getting home at 5.30 and bedtime routine start at 6.30 is very precious to me, although she wants to spend less time playing with me these days, she is now 3 and plays with other children more these days. At least she is doing that under my care and not someone else's

Yes, my hour is becoming very precious and I have been very good so far and doing quality stuff with her.

I am not big on hswk so only have to do it when really have to.

you'll be fine then... the secret of being a working Mum is a flagrant disregard for housework

I had this problem when I went back to work with ds (he was 5 months old when I went back to teaching FT) ... we used to spend the first 15 minutes in the morning just chilling out and cuddling in bed together before we got up - in fact we still do - and he's 5 next month!

I also made sure that any schoolwork was done after he went to bed - and I worked through a fair few of my lunchtimes to make sure that I got to go home at a reasonable hour.

I did find that I made sure that we did lots of lovely things during the holidays ... and we got a cleaner in to do the majority of the housework.

It does get easier ... oh, and just to point out that meetings are supposed to be a maximum of 1 per week - and are not supposed to last longer than an hour (courtesy of the new pays and conditions that came in a couple of years ago) ... mind you, I wouldn't want to be the one to point that out to senior staff!

Oh dear, got home tonight with dd and she was so grumpy and tired. Struggled to keep her up till 5.45pm. Feeling like a very rotten mum.

repeat after me: "This too will pass" ... keep repeating until you have convinced yourself!

fwiw, ds was beside himself tonight too ... and he's nearly 5! he started full-time school this week, and is starting to feel the effects ...(God help us all tomorrow!)

Yes, I feel like I have been dragged through a hedge backwards today and I can barely speak. Got out of habit of shouting at students!! DD was much happier tonight though and managed to stay awake to 5.50am!!! Got the wkd as well!!!

Sorry meant 5.50pm!!!

Enjoy the weekend mnn ...

I finished today to go on maternity leave ... back to work for me next July!

(Sorry, am very excited!)

Sounds wonderful and good luck.

Sounds wonderful and good luck.