I am interested in advice about what to do about a child who was trained and then regresses

[Overrun]

I have dts who are 2.9 years, and dt1 suddenly clicked in July and was dry and apart from occasionally having a pooh accident which I understand often comes last was great.
He used the toilet and a potty and seemed pretty keen, he had really decided to do it himself so i was delighted. Every one kept saying to me that this would spur dt2 on, but i didn't really play on this as I am not keen to foster competition between them.
Then after just over a month he just suddenly stopped and starting having countless accidents again. I didn't react too much, but just persevered as I really didn't want him back in nappies. After about 2 weeks of hell I gave up and reluctantly put him back in them.
I wonder if instead of dt2 being inspired by dt1, it actually worked the other way round?
I am trying this weekend after a break of a few weeks to see how they both cope at home, but they are both weeing and poohing every where with abandon
Any suggestions, ideas?

I had this with ds, he was dry for two months, then we went on hoilday and he came back in nappies fll time. The holiday just upset him. about four months later he decided that he wanted to use the potty again and all has been fine since. He was 3.6ish the second time round. He was also dry at night but he had surgery in march this year and is now back in nappies overnight. All I can say is they willl do it when they are ready. Just go with it. Have you had him checked for infection. good luck.

Thanks jo25, I have learnt from a rl friend that it is quite common to regress, I have just taken it hard I suppose. I was pretty chilled by the whole thing, but feel pissed off about this, I know I shouldn't.
It was just so great to cut down on the amount of nappies, trainer pants that I had to buy.
I guess I will just have to go with it. I feel a bit silly taking him back to nursery in trainer pants again I am sure that they will have seen this before, but even so I am dreading tuesday.
Also I will have to come back to change them if they need it, and they both pooh at least twice in the morning, so have visions of me having to sit in the car outside the nursery, otherwise I will be backwards and forwards

hi overrun glad to see you back and yes you were missed by us multiple mums - ds1 is 3.7 and totally regressed on arrival of dts and has only ever in his life managed 15 days of dryness in a row we have tried everything - so no advise - you just aren't alone.

Thankfully no pooing accidents just wet ones and it is so frustrating - hope things improve. All I get/got from hv's - he is still very yong

Hi OOogs,
Lovely to talk to you again Its always good to know that you are not the only one. Thanks for the support. Hope you are well

must be doing something right they are 5 months now

Just go with the flow (no pun intended ). A little bit of competition can actually help things along. When I trained my triplets, I did DD first, then a month later, started one of the boys. His brother decided that if HE was going to do it, then so was he, and BETTER. They really did well.

Regression is extremely common with littlies. It's like the novelty has worn off, and they're getting less praise from it, so it's not such a big thing anymore. I always say to people that the kids aren't going to be going to school in nappies, so stay chilled and it'll happen when they're ready.

thanks menageriekeeper.
Lots of people said that it would work that way with my dts, but it does seem to have the opposite affect. Dt2 showed no interest in it at all, and although he was a bit put out by all the praise, he didn't seem motivated at all.
Now they both seem to be very happy just to wet themselves and dirty themselves. As you say it will happen I guess.
I am just so tired of nappies, I have been changing them since Feb 2003 and feel like I would like a break

I've got a thread about this too.DD2 who is 2.3 was trained months ago & has suddenly regressed.Unfortunately this has coincided with me finally having a new carpet fitted,after 2 years of living with a nasty old one.I'd purposely waited til she was trained until I bought it in the hope that it wouldn't get wee'd on.

The liitle angel pooed in her toybox tonight too!

Thanks ladies you've saved me starting my thread tonight...ds 2.8 and regressing. Luckily we still have the old carpet as we have a 15mo too!
I am trying to be patient but he seems to save his accidents for me and be a model potty trained child at nursery...

because I know you'll be back here Overrun... if you look under multiples you'll find a thread asking about those MIA! You were on the list! We've been yelling for you for months (though it will take months for you to read through the threads) Welcome back honey!

Now to repost that on the regular thread!

Thanks every one, howdy Mars, always good to know that I have been missed. Will look out for the MIA thread
FJ and FG (sorry for the abbreviations) what do you put the regression down to. FJ, its interesting what you say about your lo being okay at nursery. Dt1 is much better with other people, and rarely has an accident when he is out, but saves it for home.
Now of course I don't know as he is happy in nappies, and doesn't tell me if he has done anything, so complete babyhood again
Are you still trying with your lo or have you gone back to nappies, believe me it was the last thing I wanted to do but.....

Hey Overrun, my ds1 never regressed.......it just took him till the week before his fourth birthday to actually start using it by himself! I was tearing my hair out, so embarrassed, mopping up mulitple accidents every day - he would rather sit quietly in wet trousers than say 'yes' when I asked him if he needed to go. Despite what everyone sayd, I thought he would be the only child at school in nappies, but he did get there. No advice, I'm afraid, as I don't know what eventually made the difference, but lots of sympathy. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

P.S. Nice to see you again, we missed you

Hi all, I am new to this. The reason for my joining is that I am so fed up of my DD who is 3.10. She is lovely and completely in line , if not ahead in most areas of development, but she just can't be bothered with the toilet. She can use it for both functions and we do now and again get days with no accidents, but then we'll get days like today where she will both pee and poo in her knickers. I do shout and cal her dirty and she promises not to do it again, only to wet herself again half an hour later.
I am at the end of my tether!! Please advice.

Moody, don't shout at her, and don't tell her that she's dirty. Instead, stay calm with her, but give her some responsibility for cleaning herself up. As she's nearly 4, she's capable of stripping off wet knickers and cleaning herself up. She'll still need some help with the pooey ones, but again, make sure you have a bucket or something she can put soiled nix in. If you stay calm, then she'll figure it out herself. At the moment, she's getting attention for wetting/dirtying, and kids will do anything to get attention, even if it's negative.

Hi Estar, thanks for your kind words. That sounds a stressful situation, its hard to not take these things a bit personally I find. I end up wondering why my dcs don't when their friends do. I bet you handled it brilliantly though
Today he did several wees in the toilet, and got a sweet every time, but this happened last time and it was pretty soon after the sweets dried up that he lost his motivation
Moodymum - its so hard, I know that it was when I started shouting a bit out dt1 that I realised I would have to let him go back to nappies, rather than me starting to get really cross.
I know its tough when you are at the end of your tether, but please try not to use the word "dirty" if you can help it, as it could give your daughter a bit of a complex about lavatorial things