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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

2 YEAR OLD REFUSING TO GET IN HIS CAR SEAT :((((

56 replies

tootiredtocare1111 · 21/01/2020 13:21

My 2-year-old has always loved to be in the car seat – always got in fine etc. Over the last 4 weeks, I do not know what has changed but he kicks screams battles fights to get in the car seat, he is so strong as well I do not want to force him in, I have tried teddies, iPad, chocolate buttons, books, they have worked once, but novelty has worn off and I just do not know what to do. I dread going anywhere! He is the same in Nanny’s car, and my Husbands car. Anyone have any ideas? At my absolute wits end. It can take us up to one hour of battles to get him in. Once he is in, its like nothing ever happened apart from I am stressed beyond belief

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GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 21/01/2020 13:25

An hour? Come on! He’s two

AudacityOfHope · 21/01/2020 13:26

No battles, no bribes. Hold him down and strap him in. He's got to know it's non-negotiable every single time.

Original poster

tootiredtocare1111 · 21/01/2020 13:27

I am not sure what you mean ? When I say one hour , I mean one hour . I am not over exaggerating here, has this happened to you before ? Its exhausting, I didn't want comments, I wanted advice.

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2 year olds Behaviour & development Families General parenting

flyingchip · 21/01/2020 13:28

as hes 2, overpower him, strap him in and ignore the tantrum.

OhWifey · 21/01/2020 13:32

Mine has been like this. Sometimes it's better when she gets herself in at her own pace (which can sometimes be very very slow but quicker than battles). Other times when we need to be somewhere quickly I pin her down by the hips. It's awful. I hate the screaming and I hate using my size against her. Other times I've given up because I don't want to pin her down or it's been impossible as she's freakishly strong, and we've got the bus or not gone out instead. Recently she's got in willingly and it's like a huge weight lifted off.

CadburyFlake · 21/01/2020 13:32

I think you have to 'force' him. It sounds brutal but otherwise he's got the upper hand. An hour is ridiculous.

Helini · 21/01/2020 13:32

Listen to or read 'How to talk so little kids will listen' they have a section on this particular thing! My DS also hares the car seat. I acknowledge his feelings and I give him choices / problem solve / give him what he wants in fantasy. It does work but can be tiring going round the bend so toddlers cooperate.

PootleandPosey · 21/01/2020 13:32

Stop pandering to him. Put him in seat straps on 2 mins.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 21/01/2020 13:37

Ok here’s my advice.

Tell, not ask, him to get in his seat. If he doesn’t, then you put him in yourself. You are stronger than him. No treats for not doing as he is told. Zero conversation or discussion whilst he’s tantrumming.

littleyikes · 21/01/2020 13:40

Second the book recommendation. Forcing him into the seat will only result in more tantrums, car seats are restricting and making him feel out of control of his own body. My 2.5yo started this at 2, I started letting them climb in themselves. Talking about the destination always has helped too, so the trolly at the shops, seeing nanny and grandad or going to soft play. Sometimes they sit in the drivers seat for 5mins, then simply saying "shall we get in our chair so we can go and see X at X?" Works. It takes time but quickly there was no battle. If you're on Facebook, I'd also recommend 'gentle parents unite' group, I was sceptical at first, but following these ideas has taken the stress out of most of our terrible-two moments!

followingonfromthat · 21/01/2020 14:13

You cannot reason with a tantrumming 2 year-old. You are stronger than he is, he goes in the seat. End of.

BronteSisters · 21/01/2020 15:33

I do not want to force him in,

Well there's the issue. Easily solved.

Lauren83 · 21/01/2020 15:37

I also don't understand what's taking an hour? Just put him in it you don't have to bribe him to allow you to do it

Purpleartichoke · 21/01/2020 15:39

If the child is fighting hard enough, the force required to get them into the seat can cause injury. It’s not just a matter of being firm and pushing them into the seat. Surely no one is advocating bruising a child just because they want to travel by car?

We made sure to never have more than one stop. So drive to destination, drive back. More than two entries into car seat in a single day meant we were setting our selves up for misery. We also stayed home a lot. For a funeral, we took two cars because we knew the multiple stops would be a problem. That way DH whose family member it was got to places on time at least.

AudacityOfHope · 21/01/2020 15:40

I think it's clear nobody is suggesting actual physical violence and injury

AudacityOfHope · 21/01/2020 15:42

We also stayed home a lot

Brilliant, what a solution. An entire family held hostage by a toddler.

pooopypants · 21/01/2020 15:53

Have you tried getting him to be a big boy and see how quickly he can climb in himself? Huge praise if and when he does

Agree with PP - he needs to realise that his car seat is non- negotiable and he will be getting in it

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 21/01/2020 15:56

You don’t bribe a toddler to get in a car seat op. You pick him up, put him in and do up the straps. Battle over in under a minute with a bit of practice.

NewYoiker · 21/01/2020 16:08

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 21/01/2020 16:14

First you tell him to climb in, then you tell him if he doesnt climb in you will put him in. Then you put him in. Same routine every single time. He has th e choice of doing it the easy way or the hard way, but do it he must and you all have to do it exactly the same or he will play one off against the other

Greggers2017 · 21/01/2020 16:15

I wish I had an hour free to waste 🙄

Original poster

tootiredtocare1111 · 21/01/2020 16:19

Greggers2017 Little bit judgy.. do you think it’s easy ? Clearly this hasn’t happened to you. I was after some advice , not shitty comments. Thanks for the Input though 👍

OP posts:

whojamaflip · 21/01/2020 16:22

My eldest used to go rigid when I tried to put him in the car seat and there was no way on this earth I could bend him in the middle - what worked for us was picking him up putting him on the seat and then tickling him - made him giggle and squirm and I was able to fold him in and do the straps up without too much trauma.

Might be worth a try?

SeaToSki · 21/01/2020 16:22

Where does he absolutely love to go? Like the most in his world. Talk about places to visit that are easy and possible to drive to, sigh and wish you could go there. Play up the excitement and drama of a visit there.

On a day with some spare time, tell him you are going there, and you will go as soon as he gets in his seat and puts his hands through the straps

Don't do anything else at home until he get in the seat, you have gone to the place (hopefully he chooses a playground or icecream shop that is close). Make home super boring.

If this doesn't work, take him to the seat sideways under your arm (means it's more difficult for him to kick you) put in seat, put arm sideways across his hips, get arms in straps and buckle. No talking pleading or complaining

eurochick · 21/01/2020 16:23

Christ almighty. You are letting a toddler win on a safety issue! Put him in the seat, strap him in and drive off. And yes, I have had to deal with this.

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