2 YEAR OLD REFUSING TO GET IN HIS CAR SEAT :((((

[tootiredtocare1111]

My 2-year-old has always loved to be in the car seat – always got in fine etc. Over the last 4 weeks, I do not know what has changed but he kicks screams battles fights to get in the car seat, he is so strong as well I do not want to force him in, I have tried teddies, iPad, chocolate buttons, books, they have worked once, but novelty has worn off and I just do not know what to do. I dread going anywhere! He is the same in Nanny’s car, and my Husbands car. Anyone have any ideas? At my absolute wits end. It can take us up to one hour of battles to get him in. Once he is in, its like nothing ever happened apart from I am stressed beyond belief

My toddler is a bit like this, made even more awkward by the shape of my car door and the fact he's still rear facing

I try to pre-fold him into position and if he fights, I tickle him to stop him arching his back

If it comes to it though, I'm afraid I overpower him and force him into it. I'm not talking about bruising or hurting him and sometimes I do get tantrums and kicking out but it has to be done unfortunately because he needs to be safely strapped in and I need to be able to leave the house!

My kids have both been through these phases. I’m not faffing about for an hour, and not driving is not possible.

Yes it’s all easier if they climb in themselves happily and that’s definitely my preferred method, but if my 2 year old starts making a fuss then I will pick her up and hold her down and fasten her in. I know bribes aren’t usually considered the best, but usually getting her toys that we keep only in the car is enough of an incentive. Or a snack. And big up the destination. Also my DD is v attached to me so I say bye bye if you won’t get in your seat then you have to stay at home. That often works, but obviously depends on where you are and how far you’re able to go with it.

Thankfully she’s been good recently, but I don’t know any parents who haven’t had to wrestle a screaming toddler into their car seat. Usually as someone is waiting for your space in a busy car park and judging you (that’s just what it feels like, I’m sure they’re not), but it’s just one of those things that has to be done and there’s no compromise.

He wants control - so try offering him a Choice for a few times, see if that works.
When you are going in the car - ask him does he want the Buttons or the Crisps when he is the car?
They want control so offering a Choice gives them some control. Even sometimes 'do you want to have your shoes on now or when you are in the car?' This book or that book, or this story or that story on the CD.
It doesn't have to be a treat, just SOME aspect of it that they can choose themselves.

What happens when someone else does it? I've helped a stressed mum on the school run this way. He just got in for a stranger (me). This child was 2, but the size of my 6yo. It was very hard to force him.
She said things got better when she made up a story about the journey.
It may also be worth seeing if other seats are easier to do up. Maybe yours is tricky. Try a borrow / swap?

What do you do when he is defiant about other things?

Do you talk about going out with him before or do you just go and spring it on him?

Give yourself way more time than required for awhile.
Tell him we're going to .... in a bit and you'll have to go in your car seat.
Keep reminding him every so often.

Give him a time out when he has a tantrum.

Don't engage with the tantrum

We have to get in the car and you have to sit in your seat.
Give him 2 options he gets in himself and helps with the straps or you put him in. Reward the good behaviour.
Use your no nonsense cross voice if he plays up.

Treat it like any other tantrum

Safety isn't negotiable

I came here to get some advice and have left feeling horrified as there are some seriously ignorant people giving appalling advice!
DO BETTER!