Evening and bedtime

[popgoesperfection]

So, this is my first time posting. I'm mummy to two beautiful boys, 6 weeks and 4 year 9 month. Since the birth of lo my older boy has been more difficult at bedtime, and lo is super unsettled on a evening. Problem is dp works shifts and this week is on afters so doesn't get home till 10:30 which makes bedtime for older child really hard work and then getting jobs done near impossible. Just looking for some support before I go grey 😳👵🏻

Welcome!

I have a 3.5 year old who wants to be cuddled to sleep and a 6 month old who will only be held to sleep. DH was away for work at the start of December and evenings were like a military operation. I was putting the dishwasher on before bath time, all upstairs and I got into my pjs and brushed my teeth before bath time.

Do you have a sling?

Thankyou for the reply !! Yeah I have a baby k'tan wrap, still getting used to getting us both comfortable with it.

I couldn’t get on with a wrap. I’m not coordinated enough.

Did you want some advice about how to make it easier (not saying I could help) or just a vent?

Mm both I suppose. I had forgotten the fussy evening period with first ds, so I'm finding it more difficult this time round. Plus dp had a different job then and was home from 5pm every evening which meant one of us had the baby while one of us washed bottles/tidied around/had a bath. I also thought I would find it easier having a baby second time around because I have done it before and I'm older, oh how wrong was I haha

I would say the second is easier but you still have the first. Can you re-rig the other of the jobs? Wash enough bottles to get you through the night plus one spare mid afternoon and then get DH to do the rest in the morning or move to doing all the bottles in the morning. We used MAM
bottles which you can put in the dishwasher.

Don’t worry about the mess too much or try and rope your older child into helping. I’m a fan of bribery for such things.

I think 6 weeks is a really difficult time. Babies are particularly tricky and your initial adrenaline is wearing off.

I think that's what I'm finding difficult at times, seeing to both of them when lo is being fussy or older one is being demanding. We are also using mam bottles, I think I need to get into the routine of washing the bottles earlier on in the evening, before the fussy period. I have ocd so find leaving the house untidy difficult and it plays on my mind until I do it. I envy mummy friends that don't see scrubbing the bloody skirting boards every day as a necessity!!!

Can you shift the evening and routines so stuff gets done earlier?

• Sterilise bottles for 24hrs between 9-3pm when eldest is at school. Same with chores, try and fit in 30 mins to do stuff during day rather than evening.
• Dh to do anything else not urgent when back. If hes working late, he can surely help first thing
• Bath/shower kids early once back from school say 4pm. straight into pjs
• do easy dinners like scrambled egg on toast, ready made fresh soups from supermarket, cheese on toast, pesto pasta. Add fruit and yogurt after. Simple, quick, filling.
• read evening bedtime books in your bed instead, Easier to feed baby at same time, and space for eldest to sit next to you.

Are you seeking help with your OCD? I know this is a long term solution but I suspect it will have a bigger impact.

Yes I'm on medication, I was diagnosed with pnd and health anxiety after the birth of my first child which resulted in ocd with cleanliness / hygiene / germs.