I went back when DD was 5 months old (I took an extra month of unpaid mat leave at the time to extend it). I know many who extended mat leave to a year, and statutory mat leave is now longer anyway (I missed an extra 4 weeks off by 3 weeks, and it's since been extended again).
Many went back to work, but also many did not.
DD went to creche related to my work, so while not in my building, it was parents doing similar jobs every day dropping off and collecting.
Once primary rolled around, it was different as there were a mix of FT, PT, WAHM and SAHMs amongst the mothers. So there was a lot more of "come around for coffee after drop off" and playdates in afternoons etc. But also plenty of DMs who could only make evening dinner or drinks meetups, and playdates arranged at weekends.
DH is very hands on and practical, and has always been very involved - but has also had to spend a lot of time abroad in the recession (2 consecutive weeks every month, for 4 years, and travelling long haul on the weekends at either end of that, so only 1 weekend at home a month and that was pressured for us to go "down home" to visit DPILs and DPs).
The hardest time probably was primary school and when afterschool activities were happening in the afternoons. I managed to work a carpool for the 1 activity offsite with 2 other FT DMs - so we only needed 1 afternoon off every 3 weeks and would mind the other 2 on those weeks until normal pickup times (and I could do a certain amount WFH on those days some weeks and not need to use up my leave, the same with the other 2 DMs). And DD couldn't do certain activities outside of school - but had other activities at weekends etc.
But she also learned independence - we were building up her ability to come home herself in the evenings in 5th class (we'd got to the point of her leaving the afterschool at 5.30 and getting home at 5.45, and I'd be home by 6 - over a period of months and steps) when a serious bullying issue arose and meant she needed to go to a different afterschool club, dropping 2 activities (they couldn't collect anytime other than school finishing time) and walking home mid-afternoon from 2 more. She rang when she got home (so I'd know she was in, safe), and made herself a snack and did her homework.
By the time she got to secondary, she was happy to get the commuter train (DART) from her school to the local town with her classmates for "coffee" (hot chocolates) after school on Fridays, and now happily comes into the city centre to meet me at my office if need be (now 2nd year in secondary, age 14). She is used to managing money and going into shops/coffee shops and getting things. She keeps in touch on her phone, and checks in with me about potential plans and how things change - and is able to show others in her class how to get places without needing parents to drive them (lots went to our equivalent of Westfield on Christmas breakup day after school - someone had an idea in school that morning, she checked could she go rather than meeting me straight after school, and having been given permission, was able to show them all which bus to get rather than convoluted bus/tram/walking routes).
So when she had an opportunity to travel away with a sports club over Christmas for a tournament, we had no qualms saying yes. She is quite independent - but still has a very strong bond with both DH and I. She's been able to do a lot of things despite being in afterschool club rather than having a SAHM (various sports/activities in school as ECAs after school, through afterschool clubs themselves over the years, and outside of school altogether that we have organised).
And yet, I have been fulfilled as a person, as well as having the necessary wage coming in. While theoretically we could have survived on DH's wages alone, his is the more unstable job (nature of the sector) while mine is more stable. And I probably would have gone mad being a SAHM as well - much as I love DD, she drives me mad at times too and I also need to do things other than 20 million rounds of "Old McDonald" - the 5 million rounds on the commute home in the car in gridlocked traffic were more than enough on many occasions thank you kindly (we ran out of farm animals AND zoo animals on more than 1 occasion).