Already worrying about toddler years

[Biscuitsandteaplease]

This is probably unnecessary but I have an almost 4 month old DS and various toddler nieces that I don't get to see often because we are a widely spread family sadly, but enough to know - I am terrified of these years!!

When do they start? Are they really that bad day to day or are the snapshots I see making it worse? I am a worrier (clearly)

For the love of God enjoy your baby! It's a cliche but they aren't that small for long at all. Don't worry about things that haven't happened yet he may be a lovely agreeable toddler - they do exist!

Toddlers are hard work but great fun. Honestly. Other people's toddlers are just a bit annoying - I think they need to be your child as you can see their personality start to emerge and you get all excited and proud when they start to do stuff like talk and walk etc. It kind of makes up for the times they unravel all the loo roll or cover themselves in beans or do a huge poo just after you've left the house.

They will have you on your knees many many days but they will give you a sticky snotty cuddle and it will all be forgiven.

I adore my toddler. She is so funny, and she is so so so cute. She's at the point where everything is 'mummy! Mummy my muuuuummmy'. I took her for a walk around the neighbourhood to see the (quite frankly Scrooge efforts of my neighbours, I am obviously joking as we haven't even got a tree up yet) but she held my hand the whole way, out my boots out for me ('mummy's boots, mummy's coat' etc).
She was a tiny little scrawny pigeon of a baby, and she has taken her time with speaking, but my goodness me, if I could freeze time and keep her as she is, I would pay good money.

I have a preschooler now but 18 months to now has been the best. Just utterly amazing and I wish I could repeat these years over and over. Noone will ever love you like a toddler/preschooler loves you. It is pure and uncomplicated and just fills your soul up with joy. Plus they are so so funny.

What is it about toddlers you're terrified of? Ds is 3.5 and other than being shattered for the last 3.5 years I have no real bad memories or any of it

Oh and at bedtime DS asked me why the baby cross stitch with his name etc was on the wall. I explained that I had made it for him when I was pregnant because I loved him so much and he said 'that was such a lovely thing, thank you Mumma' and my heart is about 50 times it's normal size right now. I have to remember these things for when he is a teenager who barely recognises my existence

I have a 2y age gap and the year I was on maternity leave with DD2 was brilliant, dd1 was really entertaining company.

I can't say I feel quite as warm about 4yo DD2 right now...

I absolutely adore my 2 year old DS, more than any other age he has been.
He of course has tantrums and is a truly wild child, but he is funny, loving and so so cheeky.

I’m a worrier too so I get it. But enjoy your baby, the toddler years will definitely not be as bad a you think.

Toddlers are demanding but SO much fun and so rewarding. My 2yo is a total comedian, he has me in stitches every day, then he does something to remind me that really he's a baby still. His soft cheeks...

Your child will probably have you tearing your hair out but he's yours and he will be brilliant.

Cucumber It's a mixture I think, tantrums and resistance over everything, public meltdowns, almost constant illnesses, endless endless energy, bad bedtimes - situations that I haven't got solutions for yet!

I can't help but worry and it's such a shame because it's really starting to impact my day to day with my very easy going, smiley baby. He sleeps well and since around week 4 we haven't had any major issues but I think that's making the anxiety even worse. It's the anticipation of it suddenly becoming unbareable again.

It's lovely to hear so many positives though and it's definitely helping me see it all in a new light

Don’t worry, none of us had solutions to all these things until they started to happen, like others have said you are in a relationship with this wee person and you find ways that work for you both. Kids and parents are all so different. I found DD1 pretty hellish until just over 1 and enjoyed the toddler years, 3.5-4 was a pretty shitty period too that we are just coming out of! But the things that challenge me may not be the same as you.

Defo relate to the fear of things becoming unbearable. They will! And then get better again. Many times. Parenthood is shit! Haha just kidding.

I'm really worried too, I have a 1 and 2 year old both in full toddler mode and I'm terrified of when it's over. It's the most special time ever. Just learn to pick your battles and not say no to everything. I love their cheeky smiles when they know they're being naughty. They're the perfect team

Toddlers are the cutest! My favourite age has to be 18 months - 2.5. Then the threenager traits start to creep in and once they hit 3, that's it! They are monsters DS1 is nearly 4 and still monstrous several times a day, although he can be nice in between. DS2 is 9 months and I'm so looking forward to the toddler months!

Oh I love toddlerhood! I'd say 12-18 months is my favourite stage of toddlerhood but even then I love the whole of toddlerhood. I think it gets harder once they're no longer toddlers, but small children, so 3&4 year olds. But even then it's still amazing to see them grow and develop. Don't worry. Parenting will be challenging at least until they leave home but there's beauty in each age. Enjoy!

Toddlers are hard and I'm only at the beginning of toddlerhood , but for every hard moment in the day there is triple the amount of fun filled laughing moments .
My kid is an absolute clown and makes me
Laugh every single day !
Personally I'm loving it as he gets older as more and more of his personality is shining through even if some of his personality is absolute stubbornness!

Don’t be scared! I have 15 month old twins and they are fantastic! Yes we have the odd tantrum and they love to empty everything out of my cupboards on a daily basis, but 95% of the time they are a dream. It’s wonderful seeing their personalities develop

Please don’t try and overthink it. Just try to remember your baby is a person with thoughts, feelings and a right to express them. People love to try and give advice but tbh I disregard most of what people tell me and just do what feels natural and right. My babies are very happy and content so I must be doing OK and you will as well.

Enjoy your lovely baby and chill

@coffeeaddiction toddlers are the funniest aren’t they? My two make everything into a joke and find laughter in the most mundane things. We could learn a lot from our children in that respect I think!

Hi OP
We are bang in the toddler times our little girl is 21 months, she is funny, clever, demanding, fiercely independent, full of fun, full of love and so so kind. Yes there are days when I'm counting down the hours to bedtime but for the most part every day is a brilliant adventure. Don't start worrying about something that hasn't happened yet, enjoy the new cuddles and the fact that they stay in one place hehe :) xx

My DD is nearly 3. She is so much fun, we have a great time chatting and playing and its so much more rewarding and fun than when she was a baby. Yes there are tricky moments - she has the some crazy tantrums but not that often in public, and most people are very sympathetic. She is very rarely ill, goes to bed nicely most of the time, likes sitting down quietly and watching telly or doing colouring. So whoever's told you they're constantly full of energy, always ill and never go to bed nicely is a drama queen and/or has a particularly difficult toddler.

See if your gp can refer you for some CBT or similar for the anxiety
It would be a shame to miss out on the good stuff by fretting about the bad.
You ll need strategies to deal with tantrums yes but you dont suddenly get a toddler... it s gradual thing and you have all the lon g nights inbetween

DD is 17 months now and the older she gets the better. It’s amazing when they start talking and they call Mummy and hold your hand. She’s so clever, we are so proud of her!

She did cry non stop since she was born until she could confidently walk at 11 months though, and has always been very hard work. So no tantrum she has now can really phase me after everything we’ve been through! The older she gets the more she can communicate and actually tell us what she wants/ what’s wrong.

It happens gradually, so don’t worry and try to enjoy your baby.

I think there are pros and cons at every age when it comes to kids. I find little babies can be a bit boring and the constant feeding etc is exhausting but they stay where you put them when you pop them into bed and they have to go where you want to go.
Toddlers are their own little people with ideas and thoughts of their own which can be frustrating and tiring but is also wonderful and exciting. My little man just turned 3 and is such a funny, loving little monster :D He has the best sense of humour and makes up games and songs all the time. He is also stubborn as a mule and drives me mad when I'm trying to get him to bed and he's insisting it's play time etc.
The good days and good moments by far outweigh the bad. Just relax, enjoy the stage you're at and everything will be fine.

I think it's easy to overthink and over-worry and before you know it, you've worried half your child's life away.

We had a scare early on in my pregnancy where we thought we might end up losing the baby and tbh that has recalibrated how I think about life. We both felt so helpless, there was nothing we could do to help our baby at that time. We both realised how little control we have and that we should just appreciate and love the baby/child we have instead of worrying about the future or the past too much.

No point worrying until you reach it. My DCs have very different personalities, one was much more challenging with regards to tantrums than the other and ages 2-3 were pretty brutal with that one honestly. However - neither of them play(ed) up much in public. For whatever reason they tend to melt down in the car or at home rather than when out and about.

Nah, give me toddlers over a baby under 6 months any day of the week. I find babies (including mine) deeply dull and boring. I skipped back to work both times. Everything after 15-18 months is lovely. They start becoming proper people. I have an almost 3 year old. He amazes me with his capacity to learn new things and retain information. Today he marched in on his big brother’s music practice and said: I need something.
Ever Patient Big Brother: What do you need?
Nearly 3 year old: First a hug. Then a big hug. Then a kiss. And then no more kisses for now.
The Ever Patient Big Brother duly obliged.

We also went to a museum recently where he saw lots of statues and asked me very earnestly ‘Mummy a long long time ago did people not have any heads?’
😂😂😂