Already worrying about toddler years

[Biscuitsandteaplease]

This is probably unnecessary but I have an almost 4 month old DS and various toddler nieces that I don't get to see often because we are a widely spread family sadly, but enough to know - I am terrified of these years!!

When do they start? Are they really that bad day to day or are the snapshots I see making it worse? I am a worrier (clearly)

I love the toddler years so far my DS is 2.4 he is funny, loving, caring, fearless, wilful and a bit mischievous.

Yes it takes patience and consistency but I think it's a brilliant time so far. We havent seen all this talk of terrible twos...yet.

Sounds like your DSILs maybe need to be a bit firmer with their children if they're noticeably more "wild" than other children.

I'm another one who loved the toddler years and would take them over the sleep deprivation of breastfed babies any time! One of my 3 was still not sleeping as a toddler, but that wasn't new, he didn't sleep as a baby or toddler... The other 2 were sleeping well by the toddler years. If you're getting a full night's sleep nothing is that difficult...

My 3 had very few tantrums and weren't especially defiant and as Bertie says when they do tantrum it's bloody hilarious and the main challenge is not to laugh. Mine were all pretty much "voice controlled" by age two - there was a delightful but sometimes slightly exhausting kitten like feral stage from about 10-16 months, when they were walking/ running but not responding to instructions, but it was no more defiant than a kitten is, and that went for all 3 kids.

Toddlers are brilliant. So are kids. So far, so are teens... Don't listen to the prophets of doom who want to win the misery stakes and claim children get harder as they get older - they don't. They get different, but for me nothing in the normal run of parenting so far has been as bad as sleep deprivation.

:o Yes! DS2 is in the "kitten" stage now and it's just like that.

I think you might be right about lack of sleep, because DS1 is much more difficult now I'm not sleeping again.

That’s a nice thing to say, @notnowmaybelater, DH always calls BS when people say it just gets worse. Oldest is only nearly 4, so you never want to be too confident, but things have generally gotten easier since she started to sleep (not really that long ago in the grand scheme!). I’m sure older children bring new challenges but many people do seem to want you to believe it’s pure hell all the way! I think the hell of sleep deprivation fades. Or some people just have it lucky in that department. Anyway, I’m not bitter

Worrying about future stages was one of the worst symptoms of my PND. Not saying you have PND but just saying to keep an eye on yourself.

FWIW the toddler stage has its challenges but is, for me, a million trillion times easier and more enjoyable than the baby stage.

Merename the "you think it's hard now? Just you wait..." types really annoy me (my eldest is nearly 15). It never stops, my mother will still try to tell you that having children in their 40s is the absolute hardest because you worry about them She always has to be the expert and put people in their place though - she told me when I was pregnant with dc1 that she was worried I'd be a bad mother as I'd shoved some soft toys I'd been given as a baby into a bag instead of lovingly displaying them... I just don't tell her anything important these days as she'll just try to tell me I ain't seen nothing yet...

It reminds me of people who tell sad, stressed or bullied children that their schooldays are the best days of their lives and it only gets worse...

All my children are older primary and teens, I get to sleep through the night, they take themselves to school, the older two both cook dinner sometimes, ds1 is the person in this world most likely to make me a cup of tea, they are all still cuddly and affectionate and I've introduced them to lines from Kevin and Perry, so if one gets a bit stroppy another will ask with mock concern "are we ruining your life?"

Teens are completely fascinating - how on earth did my 12 year old develop a taste for electronic dance music? It's hilarious and endearing that my eldest is into 90s "retro"

How can that be worse than never getting more than a 2 hour stretch of sleep for months (or years) and having nursery rhyme CDs on repeat in the car?

Babies are cute and squishy and all so new.

But from about 18 months it gets So much more fun!

(Actually my third is 14 months and is lovely).

They were not bad for me. 0-2 on the other hand was the worst time of my entire life. HTH

My DS has literally just got better and better each day, toddler years have been fine (actually wonderful)! Ignore the horror stories

The toddler stage is soo much better than the baby stage! Yes, it's harder ime but so rewarding, their little personalities coming out, the funny things they say and do and their excitement about things.

DD has SN so was more demanding than the average toddler and I spent half the time tearing my hair out and half the time just marvelling at how she was progressing.

Enjoy it OP! They're not little for long

It's a gradual thing and you just carry on as normal as it's your child that's always been there if it makes sense. It's not as bad as you might think it seems. Lots of different personalities. You actually will cope with your own more than you would someone elses.

My child is 4 and 3/4 now. She was fine. When she was 2.5 she had some sleeping troubles due to me being pregnant and she was aware of changes. At three years old she got abit possesive and sharing and being possesive came out in her. All added up to her sibling coming along. I can honestly say she never threw huge tantrums edited by MNHQ. She was a reasonably easy toddler and nothing that massive ever happened. Just sleeping issues and sharing as I say..

My son's two in 3 weeks timeish. He's the sweetest little boy but he's way more mischievous than my daughter was. He's a full on climber, fearless etc. It's fine though as I've just had to proof the house in a different way. He can't be left on his own while I have a wee. Where as my daughter would sit quite happily and carry on playing or whatever.

You just find your own way really. There's only ever been one toddler I have met that made me think woaaah. She's six now and she hasn't particularly changed. Her mum never guided her that much as a toddler and she didn't seem to consider if her child was bothering people around her. So they'd come to mine and she would let her destroy my house and climb in my windows. Carried my photos around. She didn't move of the sofa when she hit my baby. She also threw some massive screaming tantrums. edited by MNHQ. At 20 months old she was screaming mine and snatching everything. My kids never did anything like that at that age. It wasn't her fault though it was her mum sitting there letting her cause destruction. She's now one of those kids that scowls when you talk to her and cries when she looses at parties. I feel sorry for her though because I think she just needs encouragement but her mum never twigs on