Already worrying about toddler years

[Biscuitsandteaplease]

This is probably unnecessary but I have an almost 4 month old DS and various toddler nieces that I don't get to see often because we are a widely spread family sadly, but enough to know - I am terrified of these years!!

When do they start? Are they really that bad day to day or are the snapshots I see making it worse? I am a worrier (clearly)

I've got two lovely DD's almost 3 and 8 months. DD1 has had the most awful terrible 2's stage. Probably exacerbated by having a baby sister just after she turned 2. It's been a very hard year but we're finally through it now (fingers crossed) and I can honestly say that although it has been extremely hard work when I look back it's only the happy days I remember and think of. Which is remarkable because I know I had a day of 7 hours of none stop screaming.
She is an absolutely delightful almost 3 year old now and all of these periods are just phases that pass.
Don't worry about it! You might skip the terrible twos! Xxx

Don't get me wrong my toddler can be a challenge but he told me I was his best friend at bedtime the other day. We have fun every single day I spend with him & he makes me laugh almost as much as my DH.
He does misbehave (obviously!) and I couldn't even tell you the amount of times he gets told off but we deal with it, have a cuddle and move on. Toddlers are great fun!i

I have a 2 year old and I am loving the toddler years. Yes the tantrums and defiance can be challenging and it's draining trying to stay one step ahead, but you are watching your baby develop in to their own person. They are learning to process the world and make sense of it all. They learn new things daily, they get joy from tiny things. And you are still the absolute centre of their universe. You can make a bashed knee stop hurting by giving it a kiss. You can translate the nonsense coming out of their mouth. You get so much love back!

I think the toddler years are some of the best. You see their characters developing, they are cute and very funny. They are also small enough to carry if they refuse to walk or walk in the wrong direction. And you always know where they are. Just take each stage as it comes and enjoy your child. Before you know it they will be grown up.

Enjoy your baby for now.

Every stage has lovely moments and challenging moments.

I am the proud owner of a toddler (2.5). She’s the cutest thing and makes me laugh every day. It’s a lovely age.

I have a 2y3m old. Yes, she tantrums sometimes, usually for no good reason. But god she’s great. Has actual proper relationships with other people (toddlers, nursery workers, our friends, granny, the cat) and her love for them just shines through - she has a proper crush on her mate’s dad and will shout for him from the top of their road which makes me . Has her own interests and preferences, which are so lovely to see develop. Incredibly cuddly. Learns things non-stop. Can sometimes play independently/with others for a bit. I’m actually enjoying toddlerhood so far.

Yes a lot of patience and energy is required and a lot of conversation which is fascinating, funny and makes you see the world in a different way. Don’t be scared. It is an amazing opportunity so make the most of it. And - don’t fear the teenage years either. There are so many assumptions made on here and horror stories but IRL my teenagers and their friends were all easy going, happy and lovely. Children just keep you very very busy!

Toddlers are hell. BUT it happens slowly so you become slowly adjusted.
It's only since having my second baby that I realise the newborn/ baby days are so much easier!

Enjoy your baby now and when he is a toddler it is the teenage years which are the worry.

I really enjoyed the pre school years with dc. It can be hard but it is also a very special time.

I can tell you 100% that unless you stop worrying, you will look back when your child is about 16 and regret all the hours you ruined by not enjoying your baby.

Having a toddler is THE BEST!

If I could get given children at 18 months, I’d have six. DD is 2.5 now and so much fun. Sleeps like an angel (never did as a baby!) and rarely tantrums. We have a lovely time together, and often go out for lunch / cake - it is like going out with a (small, slightly unpredictable) friend.

Same sipper! Only having one because I couldn't deal with the baby stage but if I could have kids at 18 months I would just keep going forever.

They are not all terrible toddlers. My 2 became more willful at around 3 but had no spectacular tantrums or bad behaviour. Mine liked routine and communication so as long we did that there were no real issues.

I didn't enjoy the baby days at all (constant crying, reflux, colic, clingy baby who wouldn't sleep other than on me), but I LOVE the toddler days. Deep in them currently as my DS is 2.5. He's brilliant. Obviously challenging but so much fun.
I also have a newborn and I'm counting down until they turn 1 and it gets easier again!

Ok so it sounds like it's actually the threenager stage I need to be worrying about!

All jokes aside, you are all making me feel so much better so thank you. It is also a much needed reminder to enjoy this stage as much as possible and must remember not to worry about things that aren't/haven't happened yet
I clearly have an overactive imagination that should be put to better use

I don't actually think the toddler years are that difficult. They're actually still lovely and exploring the world - if a bit moody sometimes. They don't talk back though. I've had 2 toddlers now and definitely didn't think it was a difficult as having a baby or an older child. 6 year olds are pretty awful though, ime.

Oh OP please don’t worry.
Yeah there’s hard bits, there will be at every stage. But I love toddler stage! D’s is 2.5 and he’s so cheeky and loving, he is endless fun. And a little arse at times. But then so am I. It’s fascinating to see him learn, and see how quickly he learns. He managed to jump this weekend, and I was so proud, just of him jumping!
I love toddlers so much that I’m seriously looking into becoming a childminder!

I loved the toddler years! My DD could speak sentences by 18 months which meant we never had a tantrum as could always discuss what she wanted or why she was upset about something, I look back and think it was endless giggling

Toddlers are brilliant, funny and cute. They're language is developing, they can copy things and dance and sing. Even DS2(2) tantrums are thought provoking: it is indeed very sad that we cant walk up walls.

DS is 3 almost 4 OP and this year has been a breeze. He has been a breeze since 18 months so the threenager stage isn't guaranteed :)

Toddlers are amazing and hilarious. Honestly even their tantrums are funny and cute. Plus you can still pick them up and just move them somewhere else.

I would recommend reading some books which emphasise a positive approach to the toddler years, rather than a combative one. It might help you feel a bit more confident about it :) My personal favourites are No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury and How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen.

My DS (3) went and sat in the corner last night and when I asked him what's wrong he said " I'm cross with you mummy because you made me yummy food!"

I think he was in a grump because I made dinner and he wanted to keep playing rather than come and eat? or he wanted not-yummy food? I love that he tells me he's cross now rather than just screaming at me!

I think the joy of toddlers needs to be spread far and wide instead of all the negatives I've been hearing from those in my life!
These stories are making me smile no end

Here's hoping my DS's happy little personality shines through long into childhood.. I will absolutely check out those books Bertie as I am the kind of person who likes to be prepared.
I wonder if they do audiobooks? I'll have to have a look

Perhaps my DNieces are just a special breed!

I often get phone calls from my DSIL's telling me they find themselves looking around at other children and wondering why their girls aren't like them and are so wild - I just say they're taking them to the wrong places 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yes - in fact Janet Lansbury has a whole podcast series for free. I do think the How To Talk ones work best in print but they might work for you on audio.

WRT your SILs' complaints, other people's children usually seem more well behaved than your own, because you see the whole spectrum of your own, from their best moments right to their worst. Though... it is possible they are just wilder than other toddlers?? Maybe they all struggle with boundaries in the same way or there is ADHD running in the family or something like that (I don't judge either - I am seeing myself in both :))