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Parenting

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Original poster

When to have another?

17 replies

daisyhun · 20/08/2007 13:45

Without wanting to open up a big can of worms, what age gap to people think is best/easiest between babies?

DD is now 7 months and has always been a little angel - I would love another soon but:

a) scared of getting a more difficult baby second time round

b) don't want to "miss out" on DD1's toddlerhood and other milestones as I'm too busy with newborn etc

But then if we wait, I can see disadvantages if eg DD1 goes off to school when new baby arrives and feels pushed out etc.

Any views?

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TheQueenOfQuotes · 20/08/2007 13:48

we've got 3yrs 3 months between DS1 and DS2, and 3yrs 6 month between DS2 and DS3.......it's actually a really lovely gap - but totally unplanned

burstingbug · 20/08/2007 13:51

Just under 18mths with my 2 boys. DS2 had his first birthday yesterday. DS1 is 2 and a half tomorrow

oregonianabroad · 20/08/2007 13:51

23 months between ds1 and ds2. It has advantages and disadvantages: I was unable to give my 18 month old as much attention as I would have liked because I was struggling with a really difficult pregnancy. However, they are so attached now and will have the same interests. Plus, it doesn't feel like I'll have to 'start all over again'. If we do have another, I am going to wait a while, but I have no regrets.

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oregonianabroad · 20/08/2007 13:53

oh, and my ds2 was waaaaaay easier, and the first one seems to find a way to command attention for his milestones!

RGPargy · 20/08/2007 13:55

I'm pg with DC number 2.

There is a 17 year age gap between this one and DS, but DP and i are planning perhaps an 18 month age gap between bump and bump number 2. Age is not on my side, y'see.

gemmiegoatlegs · 20/08/2007 13:57

my second (dd) was also way easier. i have a theory that second babies are easier cos they have to be. I mean who's got time to spend hours pacing with a newborn who cries when you sit down when there's tea to cook and toddlers to bath?

Loopymumsy · 20/08/2007 14:05

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Kathyis6incheshigh · 20/08/2007 14:09

We have an 18 month gap and it has been bloody tough - if I have another I'm going to a wait a bit longer next time.
However I'm told the benefits are yet to come, when they play together etc. Certainly they love each other and it is very cute.

The main problem has been that where dd slept through from 7 weeks, ds is a horrible sleeper and at 8 months is still waking 2 or 3 times. [knackered emoticon]

oregonianabroad · 20/08/2007 14:10

Oh yes, babywearing is essential with number 2.

KTNoo · 20/08/2007 14:11

I wouldn't think about it too much - if you want another one now just go for it. It depends on so many things - personality of children, your circumstances etc. I had a 23 month gap then a 2yr8m gap. dd1 was very grown up at 23 months when ds came along, whereas ds at 2yrs8m was still a baby, so the smaller gap was actually easier. You just can't tell and you will be fine!

Kathyis6incheshigh · 20/08/2007 14:18

KT's post v sensible.

helenelisabeth · 20/08/2007 14:19

There will be nearly 5 years between DD and LO. Not planned that way whatsoever, DD was IVF and this one (I am 37+3) was conceived naturally! (still shocked!).

Personally, I think there is no magic age gap which to have your second child, I believe if you have conceived then that is what is meant for you.

As it happens DD is starting school the day before my due date and in all honesty I am glad that I will be able to give LO more time as DD will be out at school 5 days a week.

TheMuppetMuggle · 20/08/2007 14:20

my DD is 2.5yrs and we've just decided to try for baby 2 i think DD is at righ age fr sibling

happypiglet · 20/08/2007 14:24

I have 18m between DS1 & DS2 and 23 months betweeen DS2 and DD (who is 5w old). I love small age gaps. They were both planned (age is not on my side too!)
DS1&2 (now 3.5 and nearly 2) play so well together that it has been easy going to 3 from 2. But I also found going from 1 to 2 easy too. Probably because DS2 was an angel baby- I think 2nd children are on the whole. DD is harder as a baby (more like DS1- won't settle in day etc) but as DS1&2 entertain each other I can carry her around the whole time. A sling is a must with 2nd babies onwards!
In fact I am dreading DS1 going back to pre school in 2 weeks time as I will have to entertain DS2 more!

CarGirl · 20/08/2007 14:26

Had 5.5 years between the first two and 14 months between nos 2 & 3.

The very small gap is far easier overall - they play together, enjoy similar things etc

then had 2 years between 3 & 4 and that gap seems big after a 14 month one

Cadmum · 20/08/2007 14:28

KTN is so right! There are no two people with the same opinion or experience.

If it were only down to the age gap, DH and I could write a book. There are 23 months between DC1 and DC2; 35 months between DC2 and DC3; 4 yr1m gap between DC3 and DC4. They are all amazing children and I cannot imagine any other family. I was originally convinced that 2 years was the perfect gap but it has taken 7 pregnancies and much heartache to have the last 2 so I learned (the hard way) that choosing when to conceive for the perfect age gap was not a guarantee of obtaining my original ideal.

When you feel ready, go for it!

KTNoo · 20/08/2007 14:35

Lucky you happypiglet - mine fight all the time. Don't want to put anyone off but they do....

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