Fussy eaters help please

[Tia3251]

I feel like a failure. Both my kids are fussy eaters. I feel somehow I’ve caused this. My eldest whose 6 has only just started eating but is still limited in what she does eat. My 11 month old is not getting fussy. From 6momths to 10 months he was perfect he would eat and try everything. Now he won’t even open his mouth and only has milk all day. I don’t know how I’m causing it but I’m sure I am. I’ve tried sitting down as a family, doesn’t work. Tried eating infront if cartoons, doesn’t work. Nothing works

Sorry meant to say 11 month old is now getting fussy

Bump

It’s very frustrating isn’t it? As a mother of DC 19 and 15 I would like to say please don’t worry too much. Really try not to notice. Focus on what they eat over a week not daily. DC 15 was terrible. I was distraught at times. Phases of refusal, phases of same meals daily. Gradually it passed. Now at 15 DD eats so many different things that I wish I could go back and reassure my stressed self.

Try putting food in bowls on the table for 6 yr old and letting them help themselves. Give a choice of the things you want them to eat eg peas or sweet corn but build up to them having to choose one. Try sausage or chicken? Potatoes or pasta? Sometimes it’s about control so if they feel they have some choice it can help. Good luck.

Fussiness in toddlers is a normal evolutionary function to stop cave babies eating poisonous berries!
Tip 1. Don't stress.
Tip 2. Don't compare yourself to other parents or kids
Tip 3. Be consistent
Tip 4. Don't make treats conditional on eating
Tip 5. Start with what they like and build on that. If they like dry crunchy food, try them with other similar things first.
Tip 6. As long as they're getting enough calories and sufficient variety to get their vitamins etc, don't worry if it's repetitive
There is actually very little you can do to make a fussy child eat, but you can make them more anxious around food.
Also - almost all kids get better over time. But it might take years.

Voice of experience! 3 kids, 2 'fussy' one not. All treated exactly the same
Older fussy eater now unrecognisable in terms of what she will eat as an adult. Younger fussy eater getting better now at High School.
All of them are fit, healthy and normal weight.

I came on to start a similar thread tonight. DS (20 months) has a very limited diet and nothing seems to work. I tried hiding a bit of carrot in yoghurt tonight and he refused to have anything to do with it. I too feel like I’ve failed him. He happily ate everything when weaning but has completely deteriorated. He’s now been like this for months and it only seems to be getting worse. We’re trying to be very nonchalant with him about it all but it’s very hard to have him reject almost everything.

In my completely unbiased opinion, my mother was the best mother in the world ever.

She raised me (has always eaten anything, now eats everything), and my brother (always been ridiculously fussy but is at least now healthy). She wasn’t a failure, she just had imperfect children, as we all do.

You’re not a failure either.

I had a fussy eater, would only eat white foods, even toast had to be white without a hint of browning to it. At first he had me pleading and cajoling to try this that and the other but the minute I laid off, gave him 30 minutes to eat his meal before I removed it without fuss and got him more involved in making food he started to slowly increase his range of foods. He now eats a huge range of foods, one of the few things he doesn't like is baked beans but will try almost anything unlike his sister who wasn't fussy as a child.

I now foster and the little one we have with us now was incredibly fussy when they first came to stay. We serve meals from the table, they can choose what they want on their plate and what they don't and they are much less fussy now. The other day they even ate steak and kidney pudding (the little one is two and three quarters). I have stopped my partner telling the child to "Eat" or "Eat your dinner" because it just has the opposite effect.

mmmm... can you describe how fussy your 6yo is?
tbh, MNers often describe kids who aren't fussy at all.
They seem shocked their 6yo doesn't like caviar & snails and only eats 25 types of veg & fruit.

It's not your fault.

I have a 13yo who is still further restricting his diet. Full list (no exaggeration) of foods he will eat:

Sausage rolls
Roll and bacon
Bread/toast with butter or jam
Bird's eye chicken dippers
Skinny fries
Bird's eye fish fingers
Asda pepperoni pizza
Potato waffles
Reese's peanut butter cups
Salt and vinegar crisps
Weetabix/Cornflakes/Aldi choco hoops
Cheese toastie

He started cutting foods when he was 11 months, we've had dieticians and therapists involved and there's no clear reason. He has Autism but there's no obvious sensory preference as to whether it's linked or not.

My 6yo however will eat ANYTHING!! Fed the same, brought up by the same 2 parents in the same home so it's definitely his preference that's ruling it.

I really recommend the book 'My Child Won't Eat' by Carlos Gonzalez. Saved my sanity

If you can, put it on the side and say nothing. So frustrating.

Thank you so much everyone for replying! I’m reading through these at the moment and taking note. Lots of amazing suggestions so far. Please keep them coming

Fussy eater 6 yo such as she will not have sauce on anything even butter so plain pasta she will eat nothing mixed. She will have peas but again not mixed with anything. Will not eat any fruit or vegetables. Can’t hide anything as she won’t have sauce! It’s basically single food groups she eats and doesn’t eat a proper meal if that makes sense

OMG! Amazing ideas I’m going to try. So sorry haven’t replied to everyone individually. Every idea and post If support is brilliant and well appreciated thank you!

She will have peas but again not mixed with anything. Will not eat any fruit or vegetables.

She eats peas but not veg?

Can you give a list of foods that she will eat?
Or is it that she just won’t eat them mixed? Which isn’t much of a problem to be honest.

Yeah the problem is she won’t mix with anything done. When I’m making chicken biryanis she will have just plain rice will not even eat peas or chicken with it. She only eats one thing at a time so when rice is finished will not have anything extra not even peas but will eat peas if just given on own.

Is this normal then? If so I won’t worry but just thought unusual as my sisters kids eat exactly what parents eat. Really difficult to eat out with her too

ecen When we go McDonald’s she will not eat chicken nuggets AND fries she will either have like 5 fries and then stop or 1 chicken nugget then stop. I eat what Evers left so no wastage

How is her weight and height?

Health visitors said she’s on her percentile. They’ve always said she will be skinny as I’m skinny! Doctor not worried either as he said she’s following her percentile. I suppose I am maybe worrying too much but just want to be able to see her eating a proper meal like other kids go. I know one of you said don’t compare to others but it’s hard!

I’m worried my baby will become like her do really trying to avoid this happening thst why I think I posted this to avoid making same mistake but I don’t know where I went wrong with her

My DD also likes food simple, nothing mixed, preferably not even touching on the plate. Won't eat any condiments (ketchup, etc) but will eat home made pasta sauce (tomato only, no lumps).
But she's pretty good with eating a variety of fruit and vegetables. She won't like a cheese sandwich but will happily eat bread and cheese seperately.

My ds is 11 and I still struggle with this. He will eat things if they are separate, not wet, not soft, no sauce, no bits. Fishfingers but not fish.

Yet the other evening I made me gnocchi with a bacon and broccoli sauce, (bits, sauce, wet, mixed up) having given up trying to persuade him to eat his tea, and he ate most of it.

It is not your fault. There is no logic, no reason. Trying to work it out is a route to insanity. And breathe

Try the French way of giving vegetables first when they are hungry, then you may feel you can relax over the carbs and protein as most DC will attempt those.

So you giver her a portion of peas or a veg you think she will eat.
Hopefully as she’ll be hungry( don’t offer snacks) she will eat them all.
Then give a piece of chicken and a spoon of rice for example. Either together or separately.