Grandad here. I am a bit taken aback by some attitudes to grandparental child care exposed here. It has been one of the best things of my life, looking after grandchildren. And far from thinking a grandchild should fit in with my pre-established routines, I think of the time I get to spend with these little ones as time I can devote to them and help them have as much fun as possible.
I say this, not to boast about what a wonderful grandad I am, but to suggest to other grandparents they should try something like this if they get the chance. Why? Just because of the enjoyment the grandparent gets from developing a relationship with these children at such a lovely stage in their lives, and from sharing their lives even to such a small extent as one day a week. And, simply, just from the pleasure to be had from the company of a child who loves and trusts you.
For instance, take a (two-year-old) granddaughter to the park. It can take an hour to walk 25 yards down the road, as the little girl picks up and compares leaves, checks out moss on walls, (yes, and chewing gum stuck to pavements, and dogshit left by antisocial owners: keep away!, yeuch!), investigates all this new world secure in the feeling she is looked after by the old man at her side. It is a real treat for the old man to be a part of this; get it if you can, I say, it is well worth the shitty nappies, the searching for a wee-wee place, and even the inescapable occasional tantrums. The world looks different when you are in the company of such a child; different and somehow thereby life-affirming.
In practical terms, I have never really taken to 'soft play' places; the ones I tried were universally tawdry affairs that diminished rather than enhanced the curiosity and desire for adventure of the children visiting. Much better, museums (many have child-friendly exhibits, but even if not specifically child-oriented there is plenty to interest a child -- the doors on the way in, the different kinds of chair, the strangers with their unusual coats ... oh, and the weird exhibits too ... all grist for the mill of childhood curiosity and interest), parks, woods, water in whatever form, bus rides, ... and so on, sometimes (not often) even just staying in and around the house making things from rubbish or getting mud-pie dirty all over in the garden.
I am not the first to point out that childcare is easier second-time round; this is partly because a retired-from-work grandparent can afford time a working parent may not be able to find so easily. Give your time to your grandchildren -- they will repay you a thousand-fold in love and, well, sheer enjoyment too.
I am lucky in my own children, I know. I am allowed 'grandad rules' for some treats the little ones do not normally get. But I try not to overdo unhealthy sweets and things, even though, as a granddaughter said recently, "You don't go to work like Mummy and Daddy, Grandad, do you?; your job is just to spoil your grandchildren."
Yes, like everything really worthwhile, grandparenting like this takes a bit of effort. It is worth the effort, though.
Now almost all my grandchildren are at school. That is giving other opportunities for grandparental input. The time spent with pre-school grandchildren, though, has been life-enhancing. And my children, bless them, tell me this helped them too. Everybody wins!