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Parenting

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Original poster

entertaining a new born

78 replies

jabuti · 09/08/2007 18:24

hi there! im not sure if i should be posting this here or in the post-natal thread... but let me know

we have a gorgeous little baby who is almost 3 weeks old and we are starting the gina ford routine with her. i know not everyone likes her method, but its working for us.

my question is... is there anyone out there that have done her routine for a newborn? if so, how do you keep your baby awake? thats the only bit we are having a hard time figuring out, because she keeps falling asleep during the awake times and its soooo hard to entertain a newborn.

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Original poster

jabuti · 09/08/2007 20:58

lets not go down the GF path... as i dont want to cause any problems for mumsnet (there is a history already)

just a piece of info, my dd has been using my breast as a way to fall asleep, and because i know no better, i was feeding her almost all day long, which doesnt sound natural to me. besides all the gas she was passing, i was absolutely shattered.

each baby is one individual case.

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JodieG1 · 09/08/2007 21:04

Totally agree QoQ

I think we all know about the GF history hehe.

It is actually normal for newborns to feed a lot of the time. I've done it with mine and I'm sure most babies are the same. They have such small stomachs they require feeding more often. My ds2 is 7 months and still uses the breast to fall asleep, he does the same at night too but as we co-sleep it's easier. I think it's prefectly normal to be honest. I remmeber the early days and it was just feeding and sleeping, newborns don't really "do" much.

twoisplenty · 09/08/2007 21:05

No, no, no, no, no. If you haven't tried gf, or haven't read the book thoroughly, you have no right to comment. It is quite clear that babies do not have to cry themselves silly with hunger, that's nonsense. If the baby wakes early and wants feeding, baby gets fed! Obviously! BUT babies sometimes cry for other reasons, so sticking baby on the breast every time it cries is detrimental for boobs, baby and exhausted mother.

A baby in a routine does not get over=hungry, over-tired or over-anything, just very settled.

BUT everyone brings up a baby differently, I have no problem with that, so please let everyone do as they please, including a routine if they so wish.

End of sermon.

I am not entering into an argument, sick of gf stupidity. Let everyone be.

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juuule · 09/08/2007 21:09

"BUT babies sometimes cry for other reasons, so sticking baby on the breast every time it cries is detrimental for boobs, baby and exhausted mother."
At 3 weeks old
If baby doesn't want feeding or comforting then I've usually found that offering a breast doesn't stop the crying.

JodieG1 · 09/08/2007 21:10

"A baby in a routine does not get over=hungry, over-tired or over-anything, just very settled. "

Disagree with that as I don't think rountines are heaven sent and the answer to all evils. Clearly babies put on rountines don't all flourish hence why people don't all stay on them and with some babies (the laid back ones) they'll adjust to the rountine but it wouldn't naturally be their choice. Just because they get used to being hungry doesn't mean they're settled imo. Some babies might only need feeding every 4 hours but I think regimenting a baby for the sake of the mother is wrong. Everyone knows babies are hard work but I think babies should be made to fit one mould ie routine. They're all different and so all need different things at different times.

JodieG1 · 09/08/2007 21:13

Juule - agree with you there, if they're not hungry they don't eat and at 3 weeks they most likely are hungry anyway.

Actually I don't think frequent feeding hurts boobs at all, I feed ds2 a hell of a lot still and almost all the time when he was younger and never had sore boobs or nipples, if you have a good latch then it shouldn't hurt.

Original poster

jabuti · 09/08/2007 21:13

yes, thats what i was doing, offering my breast for every time she cried. it didnt work for me, even though we are only on our third week! also, i will need some structure in the near future because i work and co-sleeping is just not an option for us, i think our sex life would suffer if our dd was always in our bed.

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TheQueenOfQuotes · 09/08/2007 21:15

but even awkward babies (like my DS1 was) develop their own routine given time. I think anyone that's expecting the first few months to be breeze is expecting a bit much - I was lucky with DS2 he found his routine very quickly - DS3 getting there but not quite there yet.

"If the baby wakes early and wants feeding, baby gets fed! Obviously! BUT babies sometimes cry for other reasons, so sticking baby on the breast every time it cries is detrimental for boobs, baby and exhausted mother. "

Well that's just common sense really isn't it? So if the baby wakes early - how do you know it needs feeding unless you do.....and then the "routine" is out of the window anyhow. I don't thnk I know of anyone who automatically sticks baby on the boobs "every" time they cry that would just be silly!

TheQueenOfQuotes · 09/08/2007 21:16

"i think our sex life would suffer if our dd was always in our bed."

Trust me - even with a baby that sleeps right through from 3 weeks (which is pretty rare) your sex life will STILL suffer .

twoisplenty · 09/08/2007 21:16

"because they get used to being hungry" - hunger is a primary instinct, like a reflex action. Babies never get "used" to being hungry. If a baby is hungry, they yell. That's the point of feeding regularly, so the baby never gets over-hungry.

Quite simple, I thought.

TheQueenOfQuotes · 09/08/2007 21:18

I don't think I've quite got used to "being hungry" - funnily enough I'm either grumpy.....or go and find something to eat if it's an option.

twoisplenty · 09/08/2007 21:18

I did know of someone who stuck baby on the breast EVERY time it cried, I think that's what led me to read about routine in the first place.

One friend had her baby latched for 13 hours!!!

juuule · 09/08/2007 21:20

But what if the baby is yelling with hunger before the next scheduled feed? What then?

berolina · 09/08/2007 21:22

Goodness gracious. It's only recently that we attempt to keep ds awake if he leaves it so long to nap that it would throw a reasonable bedtime to the winds. He is 2.

jabuti, it can take 6 weeks or longer for bf to establish itself properly, and a lot of that time can be literally near-constant feeding. With all due respect, I really don't think you can say it's not working at just 3 weeks.

FWIW, I had to go back to work at 5 months (worked at home even before that), and (due, admittedly, to an extremely flexible job) exclusively bf ds, after initial difficulties, to 6.5 months and he is still in our room, during which time I have conceived 3 times (2 mcs sadly).

twoisplenty · 09/08/2007 21:23

FEED IT!!!

JodieG1 · 09/08/2007 21:23

Jubuti - we had sex about 3 weeks after the birth this time, was sooner before with the other two but I was still bleeding a lot and having ds2 (and the others when they were young) in our bed never stopped the sexlife in the slightest. We just have sex in other rooms Gasp

Twoisplenty - every 4 hours isn't regular for a newborn and yes they do get used to it hence why GF rountines seem to "work". I think it's very simple but clearly it isn't or else baby would be fed when it was hungry and not at a set time. Feeding at the first hunger cues is better for a baby that leaving it until the late ones of which crying is one. They cry when they're starving but show hunger cues long before that.

beansprout · 09/08/2007 21:23

Don't ask me, ds never laughed at any of my jokes

Original poster

jabuti · 09/08/2007 21:24

13 hours???? was she meditating throughout the process or just using a sling?!

ha! im not expecting our sex life to be like before, not for now at least... its all about harm minimization my approach is!

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twoisplenty · 09/08/2007 21:24

Sometimes the routine doesn't go to plan, like if the baby is unwell, or extra hungry or whatever. So go with the flow for that day, and try again the next.

and relaaaaax!

TheQueenOfQuotes · 09/08/2007 21:25

but surely if you feed it when it's hungry you're not sticking to a routine????

Says she who's just put DS3 back to bed again after he had just 1oz of milk LOL.

Original poster

jabuti · 09/08/2007 21:26

there you go jodie, we live in london, not that many rooms available in our tiny house!

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twoisplenty · 09/08/2007 21:28

Jodie, who mentioned 4 hourly feeding? That's something from the sixties! The routine from gf changes from newborn through to older babies. Newborns get fed a lot, but older ones' feeds get spaced out a bit more to make room for a long afternoon nap.

Anyway, mine is nearly 4yo now, so forgotten the minute details of the routines, but my baby was never crying with hunger. I don't suppose anyone would believe me, but I never heard her cry much at all! Just lucky I guess.

JodieG1 · 09/08/2007 21:39

jabuti - lol, we usually use the living room these days hehe, used to live in london myself until 3 years ago.

twoisplenty - from what I've read that's the GF rountine and I saw a programme on tv about it recently too and the parents couldn't stick to the 4 hourly feeds as it was heartbreaking for them. IME and IMO newborns and feeding rountines don't mix as they're just hungry when they're hungry.

Original poster

jabuti · 09/08/2007 21:44

i have the book here with me . for newborns its up to 3 hours at the most between feeds, but its given or taken from 2-3 hours, baby might be hungry before that.

OP posts:

TheQueenOfQuotes · 09/08/2007 21:45

and in the evening when it's normal for them to "cluster feed"???

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