Toilet phobic

[shinyhappytonks]

My lovely ds is 4 and a bit and absolutely hates the toilet for a poo. Weeing is no problem.

He has been out of nappies in the daytime for ages, but had always asked for a nappy to poo in, which i was happy with as i thought that when he was ready he would be more willing to try the toilet - this has not happened.

He starts school in September and i am now becoming a bit concerned about how he will manage in school.

Anyone else have this problem or some words of advise - please. He now seems to be holding it in till he gets a nappy on for bedtime, which is causing him a bit/lot of pain, but will still not go - help !!!!

em

Have you asked him why the toilet is so scary to poo in? And why doing it in a nappy is O.K.? He may surprise you with his answer. If he hates the feeling of something dropping away from him, you could try reverting to the potty with a bundle of loo roll in the bottom to minimise the feeling. When he poos there successfully, reward with whatever preferred, sweet, sticker, etc. gradually reduce amount of loo roll as his confidence grows. Hopefully then nappies will be out of the picture for poos if you get this far. You can offer a different, larger reward for sitting on the toilet, a larger posher sticker if he does a poo, but only a smaller one if he goes back to the potty to do it.

Does he understand why he needs to do a poo? My DS asked me this question at 4 and this is what I told him:
When you eat your food, it goes down a tube when you swallow, into a sort of bag called a stomach. When you have eaten all your dinner, it goes down another very long tube, where all the good bits are used by your body to help you grow big and strong and keep you well. There are always some bits of our food that our bodies don't need, and so they come out of our bodies as poo, from a little hole in our bottom. If we keep them inside us, we would just fill up with poo, which would hurt, and make us feel poorly,

I went on to explain about all animals and birds needing to poo, not always in appropriate places, our appropriate place is toilet, potty, bedpan in hospital etc. The point is, if your DS understands the process, he may be more willing to part with his poo, if he thinks he doesn't need it anymore. If all this doesn't work, you may need professional help. Good luck, and let us know if it works!