When will my children stop crying every time I say something they don't like....

[DANCESwithDumbledore]

like 'no you can watch Dora later' or 'don't draw on the table' etc. Dd is 4yrs ds is 2 1/2. Ds is more understandable but I find it absolutely infuriating that dd bursts into whineing and tears at the drop of a hat. How do you deal with it (apparently she NEVER cries at nursery) and when oh when will it stop

Dd1 (3.6) cries for most of the day because i say no to her, i cant wait for the day she learns that she cant have her own way and that i'm in charge.

Oh Gawd - DS2 still does this at 6, collapses to the floor and shrieks. I just walk away and leave him to it.

I think distraction is supposed to work. Rather than "No you can't do that" say "Instead we'll do this"

When they are about 16

possibly

I either ignore it or say 'right I'm counting to 3 and if you haven't stopped that noise then you can go and sit on the step until you stop' that usually stops it (apart from a few theatrical hiccups and sobs). 'tis most tedious though. It NEVER gets her what she wants, hasn't for 4 yrs so I wonder why she still does it?

Do not converse with them whilst they continue with whiny voice. Just keep saying you don't understand. This worked quite well with ds1. Not going as well with ds2 but he's only 2.

ooh, I might try that Strawberry although I wonder if that will wind her up even more? Hmm...tough...

Agree with strawberry.

Try saying very sympathetically, "So sorry darling, I just can't make out what you're saying. Take a big breath and use your big girl voice."

This will not work when she is 16.

pay her no attention .. tell her you don't understand her when she cries and she is to use her normal voice

Right, as of tomorrow I am trying the ignoring until 'big girl' voice is used. It will be hard, it's the one thing guaranteed to push my button...which is of course why she does it

dd is 5 and still does it (in fact at the moment it is at an all-time high).

I even say to her, "Wil you get what you want if you whine?"

She replies, "No" in a whiney voice and still does it.

agree with other comments (especially trying to find a more positive way of saying "no" as Tinker suggests). My Mum's very good at that (she'd say "oh, I've got a lovely piece of paper to draw on here, let's use that instead of spoiling the table"). Easy enough when you're Granny, not so easy when you're a worn out mum facing it day in, day out! Ignoring is a good plan too, they love a reaction, even an angry one. Sometimes I used to find that they almost need permission to come out of their strop, and I'd say to my DD "I don't like this whiny little (name); take her upstairs and see if you find my lovely (name) and bring her back down". Most times she'd come downstairs with a big smile on her face saying "here she is!"

Dd is 6 and still at it ... it's worse than it's ever been.

I ignore it. Nothing else works, nothing is going to stop it.

Except, maybe, being 16. And even then I'm not so sure!

mine have definitely got better at this over the years (they are 5 and nearly 7)