what do 10 yr old girls want?

[mistressmiggins]

I ask cos my DP has a 10 yr old DD and I have DS(5) and DD(3) and the gap seems so great!!

I want to communicate with her. I want to understand how to talk to her or discipline if that makes sense.

She is a lovely girl but dad is v soft and as they are separated & I am on the scene, I want to know how to make it work.

does that make sense?

I have an 11yo niece who likes sparkly nails, Harry Potter, aerobics & dance & associated clothing, awful pop music and chocolate.

My DD1 (who is 5) bought her 11yo Year 6 buddy a Monsoon voucher as a leaving school present. She was over the moon - so I'd recommend a trip there, get her some flip-flops for the holidays or hair ties, jewellery etc.

And the books about girls growing up with weird titles like 'And then he ate my boy entrancers' - I can't remember the author - HELP!!!!

No advice on the step bit. My ex-DP had 3 boys aged 11, 14 & 17 - I got on really well with the older two but the youngest insisted I was his wicked step-mother. I still hadn't resolved it by the time I moved on a couple of years later.

But bumping for you...

bUMp

You are lovely to try to please her.

My DD is 9 so I will have a shot at enumerating her likes. I've included things she likes to do on a day out as well or treats.

Nintendo DS and Animal Crossing
Laptop and Windows Messenger
Some (but not enough) books
Tennis
Make up
Nail varnish
Pony treks
Long lunches at Harvey Nicks
Make-up in all shapes and forms
Little tester bottles of perfume
Any vaguely gothic items of jewellery (think leather wrist thong things)
Teddy bears
Crass china figurines
Mysterious and secret outings with her friends
Sleepovers
Chewing gum (mainly because it is illicit)
Music (you would be a goddess if you got her an IPOD)

Girls of that age can be very different. Some are still like little girls, some are more like young teenagers. When you say "what do girls that age want", are you thinking about a present for something in particular? If not, I'd be wary of trying to buy her affection with presents, my DD would fleece anyone for anything she could get given half the chance. Tho of course the occasional treat would put you in her good books. I'd concentrate on trying to find things you can do together so you get to know her better - maybe talking about some of the things people have suggested on here to test out her likes and dislikes. Would she enjoy ten-pin bowling? My kids both love that, and it allows you to spend some time together without any awkward silences. If she is a "girly girl", how about offering her a makeover using your makeup? Get her to help you prepare meals. Does she get on with your children? Girls that age sometimes like to be the big girl, and maybe if you want to buy her treats, link it to a reward for being particularly helpful with your children. Can't advise about the step-parenting bit either, hopefully there will be
someone along soon to advise on that. (or maybe has been in the meantime cos got disturbed writing this!)

DD will be 10 in September but quite an innocent little girl.
She is most things described here with the addition of obsessions with

High School Musical & Wicked (theatre show)
and pencil cases for some unknown reason

I would write the same list as quattro except substitute harvey nicks for pizza express (simpler pleasures in wiltshire ha ha) and also we don't do gothic jewellery here in the country...

I would add to that list
Pixel Chix
Hannah Montana (show on disney channel and related dvds and cds)
Claire's Accessories
Princess Diaries movies
Stationery (pens, little notebooks, secret diaries)

Also the obsession with high school musical is alive and well in our house

Magazines with free rubbish gifts
Mindbender sweets - vile, sour things.
Riding her bike up and down the road.
Beads
Ballet pumps
Going to Next
Bath smelly stuff (hardly used )

Thanks for the ideas
I did mean what do they like to do rather than buying her things - her mother already buys her far too many gifts when she has her every other weekend & it causes trouble cos I dont believe in buying toys etc every week.

I am into card making & I let her have free rein with my stuff as she can be sensible - she seems to enjoy that but then immediately afterwards spoils it by asking for money for icecream etc & then has a tantrum if the answer is no.

She is good with my DS but encourages him to leave his sister out of their games as she blows hot & cold with DD(3)

That's a bit surprising, I would have expected her to be more into a little cute 3yo girl than a 5yo boy TBH - no offence to your DS, I have a 6yo DS and a 3yo DD. Why do you think she is like that? Could you encourage her to do things with DD like painting her toe nails? My DD loves this.

thats a good idea re nail painting as DD adores her but one minute shes picking her up & the next excluding her from DS bedroom & game

its probably an attention thing or she thinks DS's bedroom is more interesting